Worrying about flying alone with children

[Summerepw]

So I am currently in Malaga with my two children (DS2 and DD5), my friend and her daughter, and some of my family. Originally DP was supposed to be coming but he could no longer make it and so I was going to cancel us coming as I’m not a very confident flyer as it is but the thought of doing it with two children on my own worried me (I know a lot of people do, do it though), however I didn’t want to let my DD down as she was so so excited and really deserved this holiday.
My family suggested me bringing a friend which is why my friend and daughter are with us (family flying from a different airport) They could only stay for two nights however and so will be flying back separately to me and my children. I thought that if I just got out here and had no choice but to face the way home then I’d just get on with it but I’m letting the thoughts of it consume our holiday after the trip out here proved stressful, even with the extra pair of hands!

My DS is in the peak of toddlerhood right now and he’s definitely more challenging then DD was. On the way out here in the airport he refused to go in his pram (incredibly loud tantrum when he was made to be until he managed to climb out ten minutes later), when he was out he kept trying to run off because he wouldn’t hold anyone’s hand, regardless of how many times I spoke to him about the dangers of running off - he wouldn’t let me put his reigns on him either just throwing himself to the floor when I did refusing to walk. So I had to carry him through whilst my friend and daughter (she’s 15) helped with the bags and pram. He just hates being restricted in anyways and is incredibly strong willed, after having such a well behaved daughter he humbled me real quick! 😅

Then little things like the idea of getting to the plane (on the way out here we had to get the pram down a flight of stairs to the runway, with me still carrying him) then I had to try put him down outside whilst I folded the pram down, to which he would have tried running off if I didn’t have my friend there to hold him. On the plane he was a fidget and I was paranoid about annoying the people in front of us. He did eventually fall asleep on me though but then my daughter needed the toilet so I’m not sure how I’d do that if I was on my own, and then the other side I had to carry him again through because he wouldn’t go in his pram, again. Now the idea of doing it all again with multiple bags I just don’t know how I’ll do it.

I’m just massively over thinking everything and it is making me super anxious. I was just hoping someone could tell me anything that was a bit reassuring I guess 😫

Pram to the plane- ask staff to help you fold it up while you hold your child, get to your seats- put 5yo in first then 2yo in middle, lots of snacks, colouring books toys and an iPad - it’s only a 2.5 hour flight usually then wait til last to get off plane ask staff to help you pram, put 2yo in go through security in the family lane- again be prepared with iPad/phone favourite show/ snacks

When you get him dressed put the rains on! Or get the backpack ones and let him pack some snacks & tops.

Luggage, can your family take some back for you? And just have one smallish backpack (changing bag) for yourself.

If you know which gate you are flying from, get there early! Watch the plane arrive & let him run a bit- it's usually less crowded.

Can you request assistance at the airport for support, cite anxiety as the reason.

Malaga isn't a massive airport and when I have travelled through it wasn't as busy as others. You need to keep him in the pram until you get to the gate, once their you can put the pram and bags aside and their should be time and space for a little run around together.

Oh I know flying at that age! It’s hard

I dont know your kids but here is what worked for us. No pram, wore the toddler (in a specific toddler carrier). Pram checked. You need as many hands free as possible.
Get a magazine at the airport. Let them choose. Don’t bring all the toys and snacks out at once, when they seem on the edge of getting bored whip out a different one from the bag.

And finally lower your expectations. You’re doing the best you can, people will see that around you. If they can’t, well let it roll off you.

iPad in the pram. A little bag of toys for the plane that he’s never seen. Small snacks the take concentration to eat like Cheerios. You’ve got to make it interesting so he’s not so focussed on escape. Honestly though no one cares but you about his tantrums. It is what is in airports with toddlers.

Put reins in him as soon as you arrive at the airport and just leave them on

Have snacks - lots of them!

Malaga always has long queues for passport control ime

Once you’re through security, go through duty free, straight on, past Costa in your right and there are some quieter shops and cafes down towards passport control. As soon as your gate is announced get through passport control.

There are loos by the gates so pop in there just before your board.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. x

Málaga airport is a dream! They were incredibly helpful even with 2 totally capable teens just one had a wheelchair. We were scooped out of every queue barely before joining. I'd expect the same will happen with a pushchair.
But seriously, you are the boss. Reins are non negotiable. Nor is sitting in the pushchair when needed.Train him on the days between now and the flight. Bribe with whatever is needed. A 5 year old can push a pushchair if you need to carry younger one. Let them watch stuff/play games on your phone if it helps. I've done it with 3 under 5s, so can you.
Make it an adventure for them - go spot planes taking off while waiting, look out of the window while flying etc.

Bribery is your best tool here. Have some sweets / treats stashed so you can totally distract him. Also encourage sitting on the luggage trolly before check in so you can manage the bags and pushchair etc. Then you will just have the pushchair when you go through.

It sounds like the pram creates more issues than it solves. Check it in when you get to the airport. Minimal amount of hand luggage (like ideally one backpack).
Bribes: we need to get to X, and them we will have some chocolate buttons. When we get to Y, we will get the toys out.
I don't know Malaga, but I suspect there will be a kids play area. Take them there for a bit. I used to do: all the boring essential stuff, then to a shop to choose a snack, then the play area until the gate info comes up. When there was space, I got the kids to run on the spot, do star jumps etc in the far corner of the gate until people were around us.

Ask for help - always just ask.

Also as the PP says, bag of haribo.

What time is your flight? Can you wake him really early from his sleep that morning or restrict his nap so he is tired enough to crash out in the pram at the airport or on the plane? I know being tired could also cause a mega upset but is that possible? If you’re at the airport a while, maybe find a quiet spot where he can run around and use up that restless energy until you’re ready to board. Can you get a new cheap toy or something he will be fascinated with to help with distraction when needed? Maybe a kids magazine that has stickers, toddlers love stickers. Get loads! Have plenty of snacks on hand. Maybe download a long cartoon/animated film on our phone while you still have wifi so you can let him watch that on the plane. (If you have an iPhone, if you click on the home button 3 times quickly you can put a screen lock on it so he can’t come out of that page and go messing with your phone apps etc).
I know it’s stressful. Just try remind yourself it’s one day, so do whatever it takes to get through and stop worrying about what strangers around you may think. Any other parent will understand. And you’ll never see these strangers again so don’t worry if the behaviour disrupts anyone. You are doing your best and toddlers are completely irrational stubborn little tyrants at times! Be ready to point out anything and everything and also make up some silly on the spot games to keep his attention and keep him engaged when you need to keep him in one place. If he likes other small kids, if you see any families with small kids in the airport go hang out by them, he might be happy playing with a new friend for a while. You’ve got this ♥️

As PP said, get to the airport early and get to the gate early. Then find a nice retired-looking couple and ask if they will help you, for example by keeping DD amused while you deal with DS. You won't have to ask more than one or two to find some people who are delighted to help. Every couple with no kids at the gate is bored and doesn't want to go home, and they will love some way to break up the next hour until boarding time.

I agree with the poster who recommended that you ask for airport assistance.
It doesn't sound like you can safely navigate through the airport with the two DC, luggage and pram by yourself. If you book assistance, they wizz you through, no queueing. You can plead anxiety, or just being physically unable to manage it all.

Thank you so much everyone. I really appreciate your replies! You have all given me some great ideas so I am really grateful. ♥️