Child out of sight on holiday - how do you feel about it?

[WantingMoreCareer]

We have an 8 year old son.

Going abroad with him for the first time in ages in August. Turkey. All inclusive resort.

It’ll be me and a friend (female), no other children. Dad isn’t coming with us on this one due to family/work stuff hence a friend joining me. She’s happy to do her own thing and we get on very well, I don’t expect her to stick around with me and my son all the time by the way!

How does it work with your children going off to swim or do activities etc?

I feel really nervous about it. At home he has lots of friends and does clubs etc but with holiday horror stories of snatched children or unguarded pools or whatever I feel really on edge for some reason.

I travel a lot for my work so feel savvy but feel anxious about taking him. I don’t really know what I hope from this post, maybe others to tell me I’m not loopy?

Theres lots of pools and slides where we are going and although he has lessons and can swim in can’t see me letting him go off without me - or perhaps at least stay in a shallow pool where I can see him. Is that what you do?

….and what about clubs - apparently there’s tennis and football and other things I expect he’d enjoy but do parents just leave their children and just have an hour or two to themselves? I can’t see myself letting him wander around the resort by himself.

If anyone can tell me how it works on holiday and how you feel about it I’d be really grateful. Thanks.

I don’t leave my 11yo good swimmer out of sight in a pool, so definitely not an 8 year old

Watching closely from a lounger at 8 is absolutely fine, as long as the child is a competent swimmer. My 8yr old goes to our local pool with his friends, no adults. I'm not sure about Turkey, but in the Canaries there has always been lifeguards at the hotels we've been to - I don't rely on them by any means but it's an extra pair of eyes on the pool, keeping people safer.

Clubs are supervised so as long as your child knows not to leave or wander off, I'm okay with that too. My DC never want to go to them though.

I do also let my children go to the bar for a drink or ice cream, as long as they tell me where they are going. It's usually right by the pool within sight anyway.

Wandering around the hotel aimlessly unsupervised - no! Age appropriate independence - yes!

You supervise! Going on holiday with kids can be more like taking care of them in a different location. You make lovely memories but you’re still parenting all the time. Some people are happy to use holidays clubs which might help, we choose not to.

I am definitely a helicopter parent when it comes to water. Until they could confidently swim 50m I was in the water with them in the pool, or at the very least sitting on the side watching constantly, even when my youngest was 8. Even now I don't let them swim in the sea without a supervising adult. That said we did go snorkeling one afternoon, both parents and our youngest, and we left our then 11 year old sat on a lounger under a huge umbrella on the beach, with strict instructions not to go in the sea. She was infinitely sensible and had previously been bitten by a fish and didn't want to snorkel, but this was on an atoll in the Maldives, the risk of her coming to harm by someone felt negligible.