Permission to travel abroad

[emma5899]

Hi all,

I would love to take my Daughter abroad next year for a holiday with my husband (not her Dad) and step brother. We usually stay in the UK but as she is getting older (11) I would like to visit other countries. I am aware I should have a letter from her biological Dad (who has PR) to give permission for her to leave the country, but this is where the potential problem occurs!!! I suppose my question is, how likely is it I will be stopped on the way OUT of the UK? Her biological dad is not a nice man and there is no contact between him and daughter at the moment, and I want to keep it this way. I was in an abusive relationship for 6 years with him, resulting in him being imprisoned for 7 years for false imprisonment of me and daughter and robbery with a weapon. He has not shown interest in her since his release from prison and I worry if I ask him to sign a letter he will either refuse, or insist on seeing her. I could apply for a child arrangement order, but again, I run the risk of him seeking contact. Please don’t think bad of me for saying this, Im just desperately trying to protect my child. She has an amazing step dad, who she often says she wishes was her real dad and I do not want to do anything to change this. Im thinking of just booking and taking the risk, but thought I would ask for others experiences first to see if it worth the risk!!!!

thank you x

Do you share a surname with her? X

No she has her dad’s surname

I wouldn’t risk it without a letter then personally. It would be a shame to pay the money, buy everything and get all excited only to get stopped at the airport. A child travelling with 2 adults, neither of which she shared a surname with, is likely to trigger a check, I have 2 friends in a similar situation and they have always been asked for the letter. If you shared a surname I’d potentially have risked it because it wouldn’t immediately flag as a “who’s is this child” but with different surnames I wouldn’t bother without the letter

Its very unlikely you will be stopped leaving the country.

You may well he stopped entering another country as you have different names. It's happened to me twice in ten years. Amsterdam and in frankfurt. Travel with birth certificates any marriage certificates etc this is to prove your relationship to child.

Some countries ie Canada do require a formal notarised letter from the absent parent .
Cruise lines often require letter too.

You will not be stopped leaving the UK because the UK has no outgoing passport control. Very occasionally the police appear after security and might ask you one or two questions, but they are mainly checking against a list of names and if DD looks happy and healthy and off on her holidays with Mum it will be no problem.

Entering any EU country will be no problem. They deal with different surnames all the time. For example, in Spain women never, ever change their names on marriage and so it is completely standard for a mother's passport to have a different surname to the child. Again, if the child is obviously going on holiday it will be no problem.

well officially you should have a permission letter from the other parent but nobody has wanted to see mine for our 6 flights we have taken during last years. Only once did uk border want to see her birth certificate and Once eu border asked me about her other parent. As you are flying with your husband and another kid I doubt they care too much.

I’ve travelled with my step son and husband A million times (step son lives in Sweden and we live in uk)

never had a letter and he doesn’t have either of our names.

id take the risk personally

even my parents took my daughter on flights 4 times and nobody ever questioned them

In my experience it's not at all likely. It's never happened to me and I've never prepared for the possibility.

In my experience it's highly unlikely they will ask for a permission letter, but it's very likely you will be asked for evidence you are related i.e. birth certificate.

My daughter's father died and I travel with my late partner's death certificate every time, I've never been asked for it but I have consistently been asked (at the UK border returning to the country) for her birth certificate.

These threads are incredibly frustrating.

The law states that you need permission in the form of a letter or a care order from the court or it's child abduction.

All the 'it didn't happen to me' are just lucky. Do you really want to be that parent that gets turned away from the airport? Or questioned upon re-entry?

I understand your predicament, but the law is the law. I'd go to court and get a cao.

https://www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

It’s worth considering it that the chances of you being asked are slim but more importantly most boarder security agents don’t have the ability to check it’s authentic anyway.

I’d say it’s worth the risk of being turned away at the airport tbh

rather than having to contact the man

For years my passport was in my maiden name even though I used ex's surname for everything else so when travelling it appeared I had a different surname from my dc. We travelled throughout Europe and were only questioned twice, once in Berlin and once by P&O on returning to the UK. Both times I had no proof but the man in Berlin only said 'You are a family?' quizzically and then waved us on when we said yes. The P&O woman was more stern and told me off for not having the birth certificates. After that I always carried them and sometimes got a letter from ex too, though anyone could actually have written it.
No one else ever asked to see anything.

I think taking the birth certificates should cover you and would risk it with those in place. Otherwise, what are parents supposed to do if they have no contact with the other one or what if the non-resident parent has died since the divorce? It's a silly law that you have to have permission to take them on holiday. I get the point about abduction but it would make more sense if you had to show proof of return tickets. And why you sometimes get a hard time when trying to bring them back to the UK is beyond me.