Do I need to get father’s permission to take the baby on holiday?

littleprawn2024 · 2025-04-15T04:11:40+00:00

Baby’s dad and I are not together anymore. The baby lives with me and we have an informal arrangement (no court order). I’ve booked to go on holiday in August and would like some advice on: a) how to tell the baby’s father? b) could he stop me from taking baby on holiday? I have the baby’s passport and birth certificate.

FortyElephants · 15/04/2025 05:15

Is he the type of man who would say no to spite you?
Yes officially you do need his permission. In reality you'll probably never be asked to prove it but it is a small risk. If he's the type of man who would cause a problem for you then it's probably not worth risking it. Also, it's just not good behaviour to take someone's child out of the country without their knowledge (assuming they are actively involved in the child's life).

If you ask him and he says no you can apply to court for a specific issue order. It's a waste of time and energy to do it this way but it is possible. But it will take time so best to ask him asap. What's the reason you are worried about asking him?

Mog65 · 15/04/2025 05:15

Don't think you need permission. Just tell him you're away for however long and see him when you get back.

FortyElephants · 15/04/2025 05:18

Mog65 · 15/04/2025 05:15

Don't think you need permission. Just tell him you're away for however long and see him when you get back.

Technically you need permission of everyone with PR to take a child out of the country, unless you have a child arrangements order in place which allows you to take them for 28 days without permission.

Original poster

littleprawn2024 · 15/04/2025 05:40

FortyElephants · 15/04/2025 05:15

Is he the type of man who would say no to spite you?
Yes officially you do need his permission. In reality you'll probably never be asked to prove it but it is a small risk. If he's the type of man who would cause a problem for you then it's probably not worth risking it. Also, it's just not good behaviour to take someone's child out of the country without their knowledge (assuming they are actively involved in the child's life).

If you ask him and he says no you can apply to court for a specific issue order. It's a waste of time and energy to do it this way but it is possible. But it will take time so best to ask him asap. What's the reason you are worried about asking him?

At this point I don’t know anymore how he’ll react. He currently sees baby once a week due to past behaviour:

he’s lied about many different things and when he got found out he basically ghosted me
he cancelled seeing baby for almost 3 months
he didn’t work for most of last year (left the army in Feb) with the exception of October-December when he got a job 4 days before baby was born and then walked out into another job and then walked out of that one in December - hasn’t worked since
he’s been emotionally manipulative, trying to blame me for him not being able to be a dad
burned through our house deposit and won’t tell me what on meaning I’m still living with parents while raising the baby

OP posts:

AprilMadness · 15/04/2025 05:49

I wish people wouldn't say you don't need permission or you never get checked. Absolute bollocks.

Do you have the same surname as your baby? If not you may be checked either going in or going out the country.

I've been checked many times when my kids were little. I always had a letter from their father saying he was happy for them to be at such and such a place, the dates and a contact number.

I once took my son and his friend to Greece for holiday, and the friend was 16 the day after we landed.

Still wouldn't let us in. Total panic. Friend had to give Customs their mum's email address and Customs emailed her.

So please ignore everyone who says it doesn't matter or you won't be checked. Bullshit!

If you have the same surname as your child I believe it's much easier though.

Fluffycloudsfloatinginthesky · 15/04/2025 06:16

Same name as my kids and we got checked couple of years ago.

Sanch1 · 15/04/2025 08:10

We’ve been checked loads since I remarried and have a different name to my older two. I always take permission email printed out from their dad, their birth certificates and my marriage certificate. Always been praised by customs for having as they say not having it causes them a headache as they then have to make further phone calls etc

howcanitbetrue · 15/04/2025 08:17

Does baby share your surname?
Is the father named on birth certificate ? If he is then he doesn't have parental responsibility and you don't need his permission. If he kicks off then he'd have to go to court and the chances of it being heard before August are slim unless he convinces the court you are leaving and never coming back.

bigboykitty · 15/04/2025 08:19

Is he on the baby's birth certificate?

Original poster

littleprawn2024 · 15/04/2025 08:53

howcanitbetrue · 15/04/2025 08:17

Does baby share your surname?
Is the father named on birth certificate ? If he is then he doesn't have parental responsibility and you don't need his permission. If he kicks off then he'd have to go to court and the chances of it being heard before August are slim unless he convinces the court you are leaving and never coming back.

Unfortunately he has the father’s surname and he’s on the birth certificate 😔

OP posts:

Original poster

littleprawn2024 · 15/04/2025 08:53

bigboykitty · 15/04/2025 08:19

Is he on the baby's birth certificate?

Yeah he is

OP posts:

Scottishskifun · 15/04/2025 08:56

Technically yes but in reality many parents don't do this.
Make sure you take baby's birth certificate with you.

No3392 · 15/04/2025 09:00

It's absolutely frustrating that people still trot out that you'll be fine. This is the gov website. Follow their advice.

https://www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

Get permission to take a child abroad

Permission from parents and courts to take a child on holiday abroad and avoid abduction

https://www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

bigboykitty · 15/04/2025 09:02

Technically and legally you need your ex's consent to take your child out of the country when your ex has PR. Loads of people will be along in a while to say this isn't true and they've never had a problem doing it. If you went to court and got an order saying that your child lives with you, you don't need his permission, but this can open up a whole other can of worms obviously.

AprilMadness · 15/04/2025 09:04

Sanch1 · 15/04/2025 08:10

We’ve been checked loads since I remarried and have a different name to my older two. I always take permission email printed out from their dad, their birth certificates and my marriage certificate. Always been praised by customs for having as they say not having it causes them a headache as they then have to make further phone calls etc

I don't know why we bother, loads will come on and say "Oh it's no problem, I wasn't stopped"!

Drives me mad!

ButterflySkies · 15/04/2025 09:04

I would take all the necessary and a letter - we got checked on entry to another country and on return to the UK, travelling as a family unit before i married the kids dad, so my surname was different to my children. Took birth certificates and dad was with us, so all was straightforward and fine but I did have to prove I was the kids’ mum. The border control guy was lovely and we flagged randomly, and he said the fact my daughter was sound asleep over my shoulder in a bustling area could have been suspicious and we were on a “higher risk” route, so he would have asked anyway. It’s very very straightforward and an extra minute or two with the right documentation if they do ask, but a whole lot of agg if you dont have that. X

Sparkle123r · 15/04/2025 10:29

You need his permission. You have been linked the correct link that advises you of this.

If he will not give you permission, in writing, you will need to apply to the courts for permission. It doesn't matter how many people tell you they've travelled and it's fine etc, it's still illegal.

If you chose to travel without permission, it's child abduction. This may seem extreme but thats the legal stance.

Ubugly · 15/04/2025 10:43

AprilMadness · 15/04/2025 05:49

I wish people wouldn't say you don't need permission or you never get checked. Absolute bollocks.

Do you have the same surname as your baby? If not you may be checked either going in or going out the country.

I've been checked many times when my kids were little. I always had a letter from their father saying he was happy for them to be at such and such a place, the dates and a contact number.

I once took my son and his friend to Greece for holiday, and the friend was 16 the day after we landed.

Still wouldn't let us in. Total panic. Friend had to give Customs their mum's email address and Customs emailed her.

So please ignore everyone who says it doesn't matter or you won't be checked. Bullshit!

If you have the same surname as your child I believe it's much easier though.

I’ve taken my son away about 10 times and we have different surnames and I’ve always taken his birth certificate and that’s it.
ive only ever been questioned coming back into the Uk about 2 or 3 times and they looked at the BC and asked my son once who I was.

his dad wouldn’t stop us going so guess I’m ‘lucky’ but doubt he even knows any possible rules 😂

Original poster

littleprawn2024 · 15/04/2025 10:52

Thanks everyone! I’m obviously going to tell him that I’m taking the baby out of the country, he does have a right to know that much and I do hope he will give me permission as I feel that can work both ways - so long term if he wants a holiday with baby then he needs to think about that too!

Its just a very awkward situation between us and I don’t think he’ll be spiteful (at least I hope not) but I can’t be 100% sure with all that’s gone on!

Does it need to be a formal letter or will a text message/email from him be enough?

OP posts:

Sanch1 · 23/04/2025 14:55

littleprawn2024 · 15/04/2025 10:52

Thanks everyone! I’m obviously going to tell him that I’m taking the baby out of the country, he does have a right to know that much and I do hope he will give me permission as I feel that can work both ways - so long term if he wants a holiday with baby then he needs to think about that too!

Its just a very awkward situation between us and I don’t think he’ll be spiteful (at least I hope not) but I can’t be 100% sure with all that’s gone on!

Does it need to be a formal letter or will a text message/email from him be enough?

I just print out an email from him. He includes his phone number on it so they can contact him if needed.

Vatsallfolks · 23/04/2025 15:43

You ABSOLUTELY need permission from anyone with PR .. (parental responsibility - is he on birth certificate ? ) if he is then you need it .. you could chance getting away with it - and will get 100’s of people saying it’s fine BUT ITS NOT !! it’s like parking on a yellow line and getting away with it .. until you don’t !!

rainbowsparkle28 · 23/04/2025 15:49

Is he on the birth certificate / does he have PR? If so then yes. Technically. I would first be informing him and getting written confirmation of his consent if possible which you can carry with you when you travel and if not then getting a specific issues order application to court to be able to take baby away.

Bigfatsunandclouds · 23/04/2025 16:04

Technically you do and I would say it's more important when they are babies to do so, my DC have been asked when reentering the country who I am etc. I always take their birth certificates with me.

If you feel he is going to be obstructive you should apply to the courts for a lives with order and then I don't think you have to ask for permission.

minnienono · 23/04/2025 16:21

Yes you do and the fact your baby cannot verify you are their parent (as they are a baby) you are more likely to be asked leaving the U.K. but they don’t ask everyone so you might not have a problem especially at smaller regional airports and as long as you have a return flight

starrynight009 · 23/04/2025 16:41

I agree with the majority. I've taken my young daughter abroad 3 times, always with a birth certificate just in case (her biological father isn't on it) and no-one has ever asked to see it or questioned me. However, she has my surname and on two of the occasions I went with my new partner who I think they just assumed is her dad despite our different surnames. Like others have said though, if he has parental responsibility I wouldn't risk it and I would try to get his written permission if you can.

Just act casual about it with him when asking. Hopefully it will all be fine.