Holiday with my son who has a different last name,

[Thismumrunsonhugsandtea]

Morning mums,

I'm going on holiday soon with my 13 year old son first time since he was 2 years old,I have never flown on my own before.We have different last names has anyone had any problems with this at the airport.

Many thanks Sarah

The first time I was stopped coming in to London from France. They asked me to sit in a waiting area with my kids. They phoned my ex husband as (at the time) I had no idea it could happen and I didn’t have any paperwork on my phone.
I didn’t make that mistake again , thankfully, as I was asked on other occasions - only once going in to Italy but a few times coming back in to England.

Just because it doesn’t necessarily happen regularly doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

I've traveled a lot with my dc (family abroad) and always carried all our birth/marriage certs, divorce decree, my name change documentation and the residency order that shows the dc live with me. I've been asked to produce the whole lot twice, although the DC have been questioned a few times who I am, where they're going etc.

Like pp say, it happens rarely but it does happen. Pain in the arse when you have an obstructive ex (hence my residence order) but not worth risking being stopped at passport control when you've forked out for flights and hotels.

Not sufficient, because we're not all.in England and Wales, obviously

Also, getting permission yes, you said a letter of authority by law ..no.

You're incorrect

I was stopped and questioned at Gatwick last year even though my children both have my very unusual surname as their middle name. I had a letter from their dad but the person checking told me to bring birth certificates as well next time.

I’ve travelled with them both several times and that was the only time it’s happened so far.

Apologies.

I thought it safe to assume op is, in fact, im England and Wales. The text states 'UK border' so it may include Ireland and Scotland too, that's up to op (and others) to confirm.

And I would assume a hastily written post-it from the ex wouldn't count as permission, or at least would raise eyebrows with immigration staff at border control, so again, safe to assume one would compose something like a formal letter to acknowledge that one parent has agreed the other can take the children out of the jurisdiction.

Unless in my case your ex is a dick and refused permission, forcing me to court to get a Specific Issues order that the judge changed into a residence order so I didn't have to pander to my narc ex again.

Simply, in England and Wales (and likely other parts of the UK) you do need permission from all parents with Parental Responsibility/authority of a court to take your kids abroad without their other parent.

I wouldn't be prepared to risk travelling without the right documents.

We were stopped a lot only come back through Uk passport. Just take a copy of birth certificate to link you.

I've had this so many times when on my own without my partner. Always on return from France on ferry/tunnel. Never on the way out, so if I was child abducting British citizens, I'd be long gone, border control only seem to be bothered about someone (parent or not) bringing British citizens back to the UK. I refuse to carry any other documentation as there is no requirement to do so and having the same surname as a child does not mean you're not kidnapping them (in fact, most kidnaps are from those who are their parents with the same surname). Permission is different, and this doesn't need to be written (and anyone can forge a crappy letter that has no prescribed format or content - I suspect child abductors are more than able to press print and fake sign/notarise something!). The questioning makes no sense whatsoever for people returning to the UK with two British children who are old enough (teens) to confirm who they are and that they are not under duress nor are they being trafficked. I've had them look through my phone before to check I have photos of them on there (quite embarrassing as I had more of my cats). They could solve this REALLY easily by printing the names and DOBs of parents in the passports of under 18s/16s but they chose not to (some countries do this - I have suggested this to them numerous times at passport control).

Things are getting tighter, questions are being asked more frequently. Never had an issue leaving the UK but there were obvious background checks going on leaving Spain once. Possibly just because the passport control person was bored but I also suspect there were concerns around child trafficking. You wouldn't necessarily pick my dd as mine out of a line up and we have the same name.

We were only questioned upon return to UK twice. And that was by ferry ( a North Sea monk break and a Eurotunnel crossing). After the first time I started carrying a birth certificate and marriage certificate ( photocopies) just to be sure. I was never queried when travelling by plane .

Nope, never had a problem. He is dual nationality, like me. Never had to provide birth certificate or anything under either passport.

Yes, have been asked a few times as the children have my husband's name . Most often in Dublin, when coming home!
My kids have also been asked to identify me - as in say ' she is my mum ' !
I was advised to carry the birth cert so I do that now - folded in the back of the passport. Idea of a phone pic is better though.

Not sure why it bugs me - I feel there is some kind of sexism at play because I don't have my husband's name ??

Would people think men are questioned ?

I’ve only travelled alone once with my DC- we were leaving Italy (DH unexpectedly could not travel back with us) to fly back to London

At passport control they asked DC1 (aged 5 at the time, DC2 aged 1)) who I was and he said mummy straight away and that was it

I was massively stressed as were running late for the flight due to check in/baggage drop delays and had to jump the queue at passport control/they were calling our names by this point!

As it was all last minute, it didn’t cross my mind re documents…maybe if it was another country/outside of Europe there may have been more issues

My son has a different last name to me.

You must take his original birth certificate. I didn't have it once on a day trip to France and they were very, very strict with me and almost didn't let us leave France.
Don't risk it.

Thank you x

Also, my son's father is deceased so I've never carried a 'permission' letter. I've never been asked for one either and we've crossed borders over a dozen times all over the place.

Just to add, I do not have DH’s name, out children do, I continue to use my surname fit work purposes…and everything else really!

Thought about changing it after we got married but I wasn’t sufficiently motivated to do that/all seemed like lots of faff which I'd need to sort out!

I’ve probably got photos of their birth certificates somewhere in a email, I would never just carry the originals in case of being asked (they would clearly get lost!)

I take my nieces on holiday every year who have a different surname to me. Never been stopped and obvs even if we were a birth certificate wouldn’t prove anything so not sure what would happen.

I’ve been stopped every time for the last 5 years or so, and we travel 3 times a year. They always ask her “who’s this?”. She once gave them my name rather than saying mum so that meant a few more questions. Just take the birth certificate and a letter of permission to travel from the dad.

I find it strange though that 99% of the time I’ve only been stopped returning to the country once I’ve landed at East Midlands, Manchester etc. Only once was I questioned at check-in at Larnaca airport and they actually telephoned her dad in early hours of the morning…again when we was on our way back to England.

i think are photocopy the birth certificate and get his dad to write him a letter when I see him next,Just to be on the safe side Thank you everyone X

Yes I agree somewhat with the sexism angle

Do dads ever get questioned when travelling alone with their DC?

Just because they have the same surname does not automatically equate to parental responsibility or permission to take them out of the country

I think it’s simplistic to just look at it as a ‘same surname’ issue

In any case, it’s all child safeguarding which is absolutely the right thing and border control should be vigilant and make checks etc

I had my Dad’s surname and we were stopped when we travelled abroad a couple of times when I was a kid!

Do you lose your passports each time you travel? Credit cards? Bags?

My DD got questioned last year entering Germany and coming back into UK by plane with her 4month old after visiting friends. Married to father, same names all round, same address . She did have letter from him, in case, with contact details. Better a quick check than potential baby trafficking.

Rather longer ago, I was returning from a short trip to Florence with my then 15 year old other DD. She was asked what our relationship was then the officer laughed and said ‘ you are like two peas in a pod, it’s obvious you are her mum, off you go! ‘ My DD not best pleased at the time being told she looked just like her decrepit old Mama but says now that she is my carbon copy !

hmm no we don’t lose our passports or credits cards each time we travel…bags hmm well depends on the airline really!