Go on holiday with just my eldest?

[Led921900]

I went on a girls holiday this year to Dubai with my sisters in January for a big birthday. I really enjoyed the winter sun and it really perked me up (think I get borderline SAD in winter just get the kids to bed them go to bed myself cant stand dark days).

Anyway I kept looking up winter sun but my youngest will have just turned 3 in December and my other two 5 and 8. I cant face a long flight with the little one. So DH told me to go alone (he is fine with kids and his parents are down the road and come to help).
I said I didn't want to go alone and then my 8 year old said she’d like to come with me!
So I booked 5 nights 17th December- 22nd nice full board with kids club and can book things for is to do together. Love spending time with my eldest and she’ll do a few hours in a kids club too.

But I feel weird leaving the other two and DH behind (though he is not a beach holiday sort of person).

wwyd, cancel and wait till 2026 when the toddlers old enough… or go? I intend to go in 2026 too with all of us but in meantime it’s this December I can’t decide about! (Yes i know 1st world problems etc etc….)

Your 3 year old may not remember, but your 5 year old will remember this for life!
Imo you can’t just take your eldest without it affecting the others.

When you said your eldest DD I was presuming a teen! If you go away just before Xmas with just the 8yo your poor 5yo will be very upset. Why don’t all of you go after Xmas before they go back to school?

I’d definitely go with the oldest. Otherwise it won’t be much of a holiday… it will be childcare. I don’t think the middle child will remember and be traumatised as someone has suggested. I’m sure dad will do something nice with them whilst yiure away. You could always do a little trip with just the other two to ease your ‘ guilt’ or take each away when older. Personally I don’t think that’s necessary. If I was being really truthful I’d just go on my own as that sounds like bliss , don’t let guilt rule your life x

What about thr 5 yea old?

There is no way I'd do this with those age gaps in particular. But you have already booked it so clearly see it differently. You'll have to choose between disappointing your 8yr old, or disappointing the 5yr old (maybe 3 to an extent too) and setting a potential awkward precedent here.

Give it a few years op and all of the children will be better travellers and more capable of understanding different set ups too.

Haven’t told me 8 year old yet. Was thinking of taking my 5 year old but she’s a total live wire and just tips it into realm of not being much of a holiday.
5 year old will be at school Weds-Friday and then I think will probably do a sleepover at grandparents for the weekend which is a treat, then I’m back Monday.

They’re sort of used to me being away here and there as I can be away with work for a few days and then did the Dubai holiday and then DH and I going away for a few nights with grandparents taking kids. Plus we’re back in time for main Christmas break.
But yes not sure.
Just put a deposit down and can decide later and transfer booking to December 2026 and add all of us.

My justification in my head is my 8 year old not had much attention these last 5 years so nice chance for us to spend time together before making it a bona fide family holiday!

But could add my 5 year old onto booking and then make a decision when the whole balance is due in September to transfer it to 2026 or not.

You and your 8 year old will have a wonderful time that she will remember forever. I would say the only caveat is that you should absolutely make sure you do the same for the younger children when they reach the same age.

Due to a clash in term dates I took my youngest away for a week a couple of years ago and we had the most amazing time. I did the same for older children when the opportunity arose. It’s great for kids to have 1:1 time with you.

No you can’t do that. Find a babysitter and go with your DH, go on your own, or go with all the kids. You can’t leave a 5 year old. Is this even real? No one is that daft surely??

Just to say I am a big advocate of 1:1 time with kids and do a lot with mine individually, but my youngest would be heart broken at a separate holiday (same age gap) you can’t reason that with a 5 year old. My DH grew up with a mum who favoured her eldest and to this day treats our eldest child differently, it fucks people up.

From my point of view - this is unthinkable.
Children should definitely be treated the same, unless the youngest is extremely young. (In which case, I wouldn’t want to leave them for an extended time anyway). I agree with others - you’re creating a potential sibling discord.
Also, just wondering if you celebrate Christmas?
I know that my children would be getting excited, and I personally wouldn’t want to miss that family time.

It’s fine ! My mum and dad this with me several times ! Separate holidays with 2 kid

they also did separate ones with my sister

we did get a special holiday each when we were both 10 and 12 as well just went with dad

i plan on taking my daugher away end of the summer before she starts school just us as well leaving little boy with dad

I really can’t see the harm in taking turns and giving each child 1-1 time

couldnt dad take the 5 year old to do some fun activities while you guys are away without older one ! I think people worth too much about these things

I have 4 kids and they have all had either seperate time away either alone or in twos. Fair doesn’t always mean doing everything together is a line in my house. It can be really love to spend time with dc one on one. I find that their personalities can be quite different when they are not jostling with their siblings to be heard. It would be reasonable though to plan another trip away when 5yo will be 8yo and then again for youngest. This means everyone gets the same experience at the same age

I think its fine to have 1:1 time with one of you children. I do 1:1 time with my eldest (DS7) alot in the holidays. We go on days out and nights away without my DD3. I plan to do the same with her when she is older.

My only thing would be as this is a bigger week away I would make sure you do the same or similar with your other children as they get older.

Do it!
Just make sure the other 2 get similar 1:1 experiences when they reach the same age.

I think to my 5 year old I would just explain she was a little bit too young as it’s a long flight and that she can come next year.
The two younger ones do get a lot more attention as I say the middle one is full on (but loads of fun) and the little one is little! I don’t think they’d feel like they were missing out if they were in their normal routine together with their Dad… I do think my eldest might miss her sisters though.

It’s funny as she’s getting older and will go into her teen years I just wonder if this could be really nice quality time together, she’s still my little baby and it’s crazy when the Facebook memories come up of her toddling round 5 years ago and now she’s learning dance routines and wants to know when she can get her ears pierced!!

I’ve got 5 brothers and sisters myself and we never got 1:1 time with our parents as they just didn’t have the time or money so think I’m looking at it more like that.

I’ll leave it booked, balance not due to September and can make final decision then.

I think you’re overthinking this. My mum went with my older sibling at a similar age and I promise you it has not affected me or my relationship with my mum or sibling at all.

I’d go and take the 8 year old and not stress about it. To make it fair you can make it a thing that you go away one on one with each of them when they’re 8 if that’s a possibility. That way they are treated the same and no issues with unfairness.