Am I being unrealistic about a holiday with two 4 year olds?

[LilMagpie]

Husband and I are looking at holidays. I would like to go for at least a week but he thinks it will be stressful and suggested 5 nights.

Kids are 4 yo twin boys. Relatively easy going kids if I’m honest! I enjoy their company.
I work part time, husband is full time so majority of parenting, housework, meal planning etc falls on me. (Although he is super hands on on his days off and when he gets home)

We’re looking at half board/full board/all inclusive… basically all I care about is not having to plan and cook a dinner every night. Somewhere with a pool, close to a beach and with a few things to do for days out.
I think this will be a nice holiday from my daily routine. Husband thinks it will be stressful- the boys will still need active supervision by the pool so no relaxing with a book and drink, they won’t have many of their toys so won’t be able to entertain themselves as easily in the hotel room during downtime compared to at home. I can see his point of view but I still think it won’t be “stressful” (but maybe I feel differently as my daily mental load will be massively decreased whereas his will increase a bit?) I think we’d get to the end of the 5 nights and wish we’d had longer and that by the time you’ve factored in the journey etc it won’t leave us a lot of time.

We’ve only been away once with them before, but my parents came with us so it was very different. This will be our first time away with just us.

I’d appreciate thoughts from people who have been away with young kids before! 😃

Definitely a week. The journey will be the most stressful part of it so you need a week to justify the journey.

I mean, if they’re easy going kids I’m sure you’ll be fine. I could’ve done it younger than that with my dds, but due to my firstborn do who was an utter nightmare, we couldn’t have one single break away for years. Go for it.

Im team travel travel travel anywhere with your kids! It’s always better and easier than being at home

I spent whole maternity leave basically travelling with nearly 4 year old and baby

south east asia
japan
camper van around Europe
air bnb in France currently
1 package holiday

package holiday in Mallorca was the worst most boring

cities are great loads to do fine pockets of kid friendly things and tag team alone time ;shopping, spas etc )

national parks in Asia were unreal with kids

its never super relaxing - but it’s just different - so we get up early and out and explore new places - have drinks and chill when kids are in bed

or sometimes just say fuck the routine and have the kids out super late

Definitely go for a week, even when flying shorthaul most of the first and last day are spent travelling so good to have as many days as possible in-between.
I find the travelling a bit stressful with small children but once you are there it is well worth it.
There is no shame in dropping your kids at a club for an hour or so in the afternoon, it gets them away from the heat and they can do some crafts, games or other activities.
I'd choose a hotel with a separate mini kids pool, then if you don't want to go into the pool wirh them each time you can watch from the side whilst they splash around.

sorry I don’t get it.. they are preschoolers not toddlers. I have a 4 year old myself, 2 year old and a baby, if anything the 4 year old is the easiest. Unless they are SEN of course..

relaxing by the pool with a book is not sonething you can do when you have kids. Once youve got over that shocker it us still an amazing experience. Definitely go for at least a week. But maybe consider driving to France or Netherlands if you are worried about the stress factor. A pool is not a relaxing place to be with two 4 year olds, but there are holiday parks in europe that gave splash areas, petting zoos, adventure playgrounds, mini golf, bouncy castles etc as well as swimming.

All inclusive with kids club so you get a few mornings to yourself. Be careful - some kids clubs are only from 5. Most Tui run ones are from 3 though.

Recommend 7-10 nights, don’t do just 5 its not worth the flight etc.

check Tui free child places, they have been a godsend for us!

also recommend Flyte Scootcases, such a good investment - brilliant for them carrying their own bag through the airport and for using as scooters when you’re there so you can get out and about further than they would just walking. Just check the handbaggage sizes, again Tui has always been fabulous for us.

one thing I would say is we’ve never gone anywhere too hot for us - we tend to aim for winter sun and enjoyed it under 30-35 degrees. Think parenting would be more difficult in more heat!!

enjoy holiday shopping, it should be an exciting experience!!

Have a look at the Holiday Village in Benalmadena. Relatively short flight kids club splash park, AI. Big rooms with big balcony. Butterfly World and a crocodile park nearby, short taxi into town with marina and long beach. Or Los Patos Park, closer to the centre than the Holiday Village. I've been taking mine abroad since they were 2 & 3. Xh wasn't a huge sun fan so I always got a bit of peace in the afternoons when he took them for a nap.

We started going abroad as it wasn't much more expensive than self catering in the UK, and usually weather better so don't have to spend £££ entertaining them on rainy days!

My must haves for kids holidays are a room with a separate living room and a nice outside space, you can chill out in the day there and also night time when kids are alseep you can have a glass of eine on the patio. And lots of things to do.

I wouldn't want a room next to a pool, too stressful to think they could run straight out the door into a pool. Day care is great, if the place has a daily activity program they can do for a few hours. The easiest holidays we did with ours were actually caravan and chalet style holidays where you have loads of space indoors. We did long haul all inclusive too and they were more stressful, carting stuff back and forth down to the pool and beach and constant water safety worries. Make it as easy as possible.

Yea they are pretty easy kids but holidays with them are new to us hence asking for thoughts. And with things like having a pool the main thing we are both wondering about is if we are going to be on high alert constantly and if it will impact the overall enjoyment of the holiday after a while. That’s great you find it so easy though!

I think some people have touched on it (and this frame of mind does help)I think I have resented to the fact it’s not a ‘holiday’ with young kids. It’s a trip away! Yes you don’t have to think about laundry, meals etc but you will still be on high alert all day long until they are in bed. If you are looking for a relaxing holiday then you should consider going away without them (if this is your cup of tea- not mine!).
You both need to take turns (agreed!) if you need individual down time. Then other times you take one kid each.
After a few trips with disagreements with my DH about this dynamic we finally accepted this is how our trips are then it makes sense and you understand each other. The trip away is for the kids really and for you to make memories with them, it’s still hard work and parenting doesn’t have much of a holiday. Thai is just my opinion..

So this depends on how well they can swim and pool type.
We always take swim vests with us which they have to wear if 1 adult is in with them.
We have been to some hotels which have a gentle gradient and took some toys with us so they would be playing with toys in the shallow bit and we would sit next to them.

Is it sit on a sun lounger and read a book type holiday no not unless they go into kids club but it doesn't mean it's not fun!

If your husband won’t go on holiday until holidays are as relaxed as pre kids, it’s going to be a lot of years with no holiday! I think you’re past the worst years and now is a good time to start.

Seeing their joy as they go up in a plane for the first time or play on the beach or see a hotel breakfast buffet 😆 is amazing. Your DH might even enjoy it…

Agree with pp about gentle gradient pools! Godsend for non swimmers, obviously you still have to watch them but they can play in the water without being fully in iyswim. Also swim vests, we had neoprene waistcoat style ones with the foam inserts.

All inclusive 7 day holiday with kids entertainment, and a kids club. Having twins is perfect as it means they will be eligible for the same room so can keep each other company. I know kids' clubs aren't for everyone, but if they enjoy it, I see no harm in you and your DH getting a couple of hours to yourselves whilst the kids are entertained; sit by the pool, go get a massage, have some time alone...

Perfect holiday in my opinion. Best of all worlds.

Book full-board, even if you don't use it, it's there if you can't child-friendly local restaurants, and it saves you worrying about finding dinner or lunch to cook/seek daily, and do not get an apartment in a hotel, or you will end up cooking and cleaning! Find a hotel with a children's club daily, and ask around in friend groups so you know that they are decent/safe. Someone you know at school has probably been to a nice, sunny place with a good kid's club daily and a pool? I'd book the seven days, two are travel really so that gives you a five day holiday.

My idea of a holiday from hell even with kids

Seven days and your plans sound great.

Just have some ideas for your DC’s.

I found a bit of routine each day helped.
Up, showered, sun cream on before getting dressed and going forward breakfast ( saved any accidental sunburn). DC’s quickly got used to the routine.
A little bit of ‘first we will ( play in the pool), then we will ( get some ice cream) and then we will (.go to the beach). Gives them a bit of advanced planning and structure.
We always chose one longer book, so that we could read to them at bedtime each night.

Think about some easy games. A simple pack of cards is easy to take and you can teach and play some simple games.

Buy/take some active games ( beach ping pong) and use to make other games ( throwing onto a target drawn in the sand).

Mine loved digging and sloshing water between buckets. Involve them, step back, don't refocus letting them become involved for periods of time.

Take a walk along the beach, somewhere quieter. Take away the busy-ness.

Plan time for each adult with one each and switch.
Plan when each adult has time for themselves to do with it what they want.
It just gives everyone some space when living in one or two rooms.

I'd go for 7 nights, a large part of the cost is the flights and so it's probably not that much additional cost over 5 and I don't think 5 nights is very long, we usually go for as long as we can afford / annual leave & school holidays allow!

We've travelled all over with our DC, it's about adjusting expectations - yes we can't lounge by the pool, but we go to the beach, build sandcastles, go for walks, explore the rock pools, play in the pool together, have nice meals out where I don't have to cook or wash dishes.... it's a change if not a rest
We usually hire a car and explore, do some day trips and see the sites.

We do actively parent for the whole holiday so it's not easy but it's fun (most of the time )

OP check out a hotel with a kids club. We've done a few Mark Warner holidays, once with our 2 year old and again with a 5 and 2 year old. The kids clubs are fantastic and we could have mornings by the pool/beach/exploring while the kids were in clubs and then all spend the afternoons together (you can also book them into clubs for the full day). Hands down best thing about MW was the evening creche. The hotels put on an early dinner for kids at 5ish where you can feed them, take them back to room to get bathed and into pyjamas, and then we'd drop them at the kids club for movie night where they fall asleep infront a film along with the other kiddies and we'd have the evening to ourselves, picking them up at 10 to go back to the rooms. Felt like a proper holiday. We've also done TUI Sensatori and they loved the kids clubs there too. They didn't have evening creche, and the kids entertainment started at 8 meaning ours were too tired to enjoy, so we all went back to the room and they slept while we sat on the balcony. Enjoy it!

We've got a toddler but have been on a few holidays with him with more planned this year. We will only do HB or AI - the half board appeals because it doesn't encourage us to overeat the same, not because we want variety of food. We still eat lunch at the hotel but maybe pay for 1 pizza and salad to share rather than doing 3 courses like at dinner time! I don't expect to relax on a sunbed on holiday anymore but it's still fun playing in a pool, watching DS at a playground, going for an ice cream, taking him to a kids club for a couple of sessions to give everyone a change of scene. I think a week is ideal personally, somewhere in the sunshine where getting up and out on a schedule isn't required.

We went on a few half board holidays with children of that age .it frees up so much time in the day and we are v unfussy re food so a limited choice menu is also easy. I wouldn't stay somewhere with a pool unless it was clearly inaccessible to DC of that age ; I would see it as unnecessary stress but I am probably in the minority on that. When they were older we went more for self catering with a pool and ate out most days depending on what we were doing.

I think it'll be great fun! Your DH just needs to adjust his idea of 'holiday'. No, it's not relaxing but it's a change from the old routine for all of you. We took 2x 5 year olds (and 8yo) to Sri Lanka and it was great, albeit the big waves and steep shelf was a bit scary in one place we stayed at. No grandparents, no kids club, no entertainment. We took cards games to play whilst waiting for food/ airports (4yos can do uno, snap, happy families etc). We had a TV in one place we stayed. Pool toys for pool/ sea (body boards was fun).

Definitely go for at least a week. Find somewhere with a small splash park so you don't need to constantly handle 2 kids in a pool on your own. You could take it in turns there whereas pool might need 2 parents if it's busy (easy to lose track of one).

I think you'll have a great time.

Holiday tip for parents. Buy them a new toy on the way, they'll play with it way more than their existing ones. A cheap supermarket version of Jenga was a game changer at this age