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Original poster

Taking newborn abroad for wedding

30 replies

HopefulBeckie · 27/02/2025 22:54

My brother is getting married 7 weeks after my baby’s due date abroad. I really want to go as we are both close but I am so anxious about taking such a small baby abroad! My kids will always come first so we are all prepared to have to cancel last minute but I will be gutted if I have to miss the wedding. I also have a toddler too so it’s not going to be easy.
Does anyone have any tips? I don’t even know if I’ll be able to get my baby registered in time as I know with my first we had to wait several weeks to get an appointment. So im not even sure if I’d be able to get a passport in time.

OP posts:
ARichtGoodDram · 27/02/2025 22:59

7 weeks is massively tight for birth registration and then getting photos and sending off for a passport.

LG71 · 27/02/2025 23:01

I don't have much advice but just wanted to say passports are coming back mega fast at the moment!

Winter2028 · 27/02/2025 23:05

I am in very much the same situation, SIL is getting married in Netherlands in August, my due date is mid July. MIL actually suggested I should give birth in netherlands so I could attend her daughter's wedding when I said I probably could come. She thinks it would be covered under ghic..

Obviously that is insane lol.

JoyousEagle · 27/02/2025 23:06

Where is it? Are we talking a short flight to France, or is it Australia?

It's very tight for getting everything sorted, especially if you go overdue.

roselilylavender · 27/02/2025 23:31

DS was 8 weeks and 3 days when he went on his first overseas holiday. He was supposed to be over 10 weeks but he was 10 days late which really didn't help.
Within hours of him being born we went onto the registrar's website to book an appt and only had to wait three weeks for that. As soon as we had the birth certificate, we went to Snappy Snaps and then to the Post Office for the forms. We took all of the paperwork back the next day and had the passport within the week. Only to open it and discovered they had mis-spelled his very common name (say it was "James" and they had spelled it as "Jaems"). A slightly hysterical phone call from me to the passport office and we sent it off again and they then re-processed it. Even with that hiccup, it was all done by the time he was 6 weeks old so we had over a fortnight to spare.

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 27/02/2025 23:36

I took my 6 week old and my 3year old to Italy . It was pretty straightforward tbh the baby slept a lot of the time and was happy in the baby carrier.

MeganM3 · 27/02/2025 23:48

I think you should not promise anything, and just wait and see.

Many women suffer with their mental health pp, I did. And the anxiety around travel would have been terrible for me - even if it was logistically possible to travel. Baby might have been fine but I wouldn't have been.
See how you are and don't put pressure on yourself.

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 27/02/2025 23:52

It’s fine. Passports are quick and babies are easy on planes - your toddler is more the concern. It helps to have them feed during take off and landing if you can to help swallowing and prevent sore ears. Flown with very young babies many times. It’s absolutely fine and a complete non issue.

LoserWinner · 28/02/2025 00:05

I travelled without my husband from the Middle East when my eldest was two weeks, travelled round the UK by train so all the widespread family could meet him, and flew back again two weeks later. He spent most of the travelling time in a newborn baby sling and slept in a lightweight Moses basket. Clothes were in a wheeled small suitcase. At that age, travel is easy!

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 28/02/2025 00:17

I missed my sisters wedding abroad. My due date was the day after her wedding so we were never going.
I was a week post CS by then. Hilariously during a recent family conversation she commented on the wedding to me in a do you remember style. She's a) completely forgotten I wasn't there until I reminded her and b) I was in such a fog it would have been a disaster.

I did go to a wedding 8 weeks later requiring photo id and flights. It was a bit of a scramble and I had to spend a day at the passport office with a newborn. I don't think that's even an option now. Fast track is £200?? We couldn't have done it except dc1 was early.

I think if it's a wedding with 1-2 hrs of the UK it's worth having a bash, if it's the Maldives or similar, do lunch with them and attend the civil wedding here.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 28/02/2025 00:27

I say that because until the baby arrives unless you are prepared to write off the costs you will be making a very last minutes decision on fitness to fly etc.

Dh was best man which was why we went. So I spent a lot of the day by myself trying to feed under a cover while not getting milk on my dress, or having the baby puke on me.
Music was super loud so I was stressed about her hearing.
The drunker people got the more they basically wrestled her out of my arms for a cuddle, kissed her and generally total strangers made off with her. It was quite stressful as a new mum.
I drove back to the hotel solo at midnight, leaving dH to party, fed at midnight, 2, 4 and 8.

It was not a rock and roll experience. Lovely to see them get married as old friends but nothing like a wedding I've ever been to before

Cinai2 · 28/02/2025 00:38

If you feel up for it I think it can work. Passport application is really easy, all done online and you just take a photo of baby with your phone and upload. I got my baby’s passport within 1 week.

Original poster
HopefulBeckie · 28/02/2025 11:26

ARichtGoodDram · 27/02/2025 22:59

7 weeks is massively tight for birth registration and then getting photos and sending off for a passport.

I know it’s what has worries me. But I also know they can’t change the date for me. Weddings are super expensive and it’s the best date that works for everyone as a whole and most importantly the bride and groom.

OP posts:
Original poster
HopefulBeckie · 28/02/2025 11:29

Winter2028 · 27/02/2025 23:05

I am in very much the same situation, SIL is getting married in Netherlands in August, my due date is mid July. MIL actually suggested I should give birth in netherlands so I could attend her daughter's wedding when I said I probably could come. She thinks it would be covered under ghic..

Obviously that is insane lol.

Edited

What?! That’s so crazy! She’s literally asking you to give your child a whole different nationality to attend a wedding 😵

OP posts:
Original poster
HopefulBeckie · 28/02/2025 11:31

JoyousEagle · 27/02/2025 23:06

Where is it? Are we talking a short flight to France, or is it Australia?

It's very tight for getting everything sorted, especially if you go overdue.

It’s in France so it wouldn’t be a long flight. And definitely babies come when they’re ready and I’m trying not to stress about it because I know it’s possible.

OP posts:
Kitchensinktoday · 28/02/2025 11:32

roselilylavender · 27/02/2025 23:31

DS was 8 weeks and 3 days when he went on his first overseas holiday. He was supposed to be over 10 weeks but he was 10 days late which really didn't help.
Within hours of him being born we went onto the registrar's website to book an appt and only had to wait three weeks for that. As soon as we had the birth certificate, we went to Snappy Snaps and then to the Post Office for the forms. We took all of the paperwork back the next day and had the passport within the week. Only to open it and discovered they had mis-spelled his very common name (say it was "James" and they had spelled it as "Jaems"). A slightly hysterical phone call from me to the passport office and we sent it off again and they then re-processed it. Even with that hiccup, it was all done by the time he was 6 weeks old so we had over a fortnight to spare.

But I'm guessing it was all quite stressful, and not how you'd wish to spend the first days/weeks of baby's life?

Original poster
HopefulBeckie · 28/02/2025 11:32

roselilylavender · 27/02/2025 23:31

DS was 8 weeks and 3 days when he went on his first overseas holiday. He was supposed to be over 10 weeks but he was 10 days late which really didn't help.
Within hours of him being born we went onto the registrar's website to book an appt and only had to wait three weeks for that. As soon as we had the birth certificate, we went to Snappy Snaps and then to the Post Office for the forms. We took all of the paperwork back the next day and had the passport within the week. Only to open it and discovered they had mis-spelled his very common name (say it was "James" and they had spelled it as "Jaems"). A slightly hysterical phone call from me to the passport office and we sent it off again and they then re-processed it. Even with that hiccup, it was all done by the time he was 6 weeks old so we had over a fortnight to spare.

OMG that sounds so stressful but I’m glad it did work out for you though.

OP posts:
pearbottomjeans · 28/02/2025 11:32

Nah I’d stay in bed and zoom in with a glass of champagne! Lush!

(I say this as someone who moved house/counties 7 weeks PP with a failure to thrive DC1 - it was fine but still very much ironing out newborn issues at that phase. Went to a wedding at 12 weeks pp, not abroad, and still was ironing out feeding issues!!)

Kitchensinktoday · 28/02/2025 11:33

Winter2028 · 27/02/2025 23:05

I am in very much the same situation, SIL is getting married in Netherlands in August, my due date is mid July. MIL actually suggested I should give birth in netherlands so I could attend her daughter's wedding when I said I probably could come. She thinks it would be covered under ghic..

Obviously that is insane lol.

Edited

This is worthy of its own thread!! True MIL gold !!!

Original poster
HopefulBeckie · 28/02/2025 11:37

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 27/02/2025 23:52

It’s fine. Passports are quick and babies are easy on planes - your toddler is more the concern. It helps to have them feed during take off and landing if you can to help swallowing and prevent sore ears. Flown with very young babies many times. It’s absolutely fine and a complete non issue.

Yes I flew with my toddler just before he turned 2 and it was an experience let me tell you! Only thing that calmed him down was looking at photos & videos of himself as the shows we downloaded for him didn’t work in the end 🙃
And even then that didn’t last long so he spent most of the flight screaming.
The guy next to us was clearly drunk and said he was so glad to be sat next to such a well behaved toddler and then told us about how his toddler was crying the whole way and couldn’t believe mine didn’t 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
HopefulBeckie · 28/02/2025 11:42

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 28/02/2025 00:17

I missed my sisters wedding abroad. My due date was the day after her wedding so we were never going.
I was a week post CS by then. Hilariously during a recent family conversation she commented on the wedding to me in a do you remember style. She's a) completely forgotten I wasn't there until I reminded her and b) I was in such a fog it would have been a disaster.

I did go to a wedding 8 weeks later requiring photo id and flights. It was a bit of a scramble and I had to spend a day at the passport office with a newborn. I don't think that's even an option now. Fast track is £200?? We couldn't have done it except dc1 was early.

I think if it's a wedding with 1-2 hrs of the UK it's worth having a bash, if it's the Maldives or similar, do lunch with them and attend the civil wedding here.

Yeah that sounds like it would’ve been impossible but it’s huge funny they forgot you wasn’t there 😅.
Fast track is almost £200! That’s ridiculous.

Luckily it isn’t far as it’s in France. But they both live there so aren’t doing any celebrations in the UK.

OP posts:
Original poster
HopefulBeckie · 28/02/2025 11:46

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 28/02/2025 00:27

I say that because until the baby arrives unless you are prepared to write off the costs you will be making a very last minutes decision on fitness to fly etc.

Dh was best man which was why we went. So I spent a lot of the day by myself trying to feed under a cover while not getting milk on my dress, or having the baby puke on me.
Music was super loud so I was stressed about her hearing.
The drunker people got the more they basically wrestled her out of my arms for a cuddle, kissed her and generally total strangers made off with her. It was quite stressful as a new mum.
I drove back to the hotel solo at midnight, leaving dH to party, fed at midnight, 2, 4 and 8.

It was not a rock and roll experience. Lovely to see them get married as old friends but nothing like a wedding I've ever been to before

We aren’t gonna buy any tickets until the baby is born as if she’s overdue or there’s any complications we don’t want to then have the added stress of cancelling and loosing money.

That sounds so hard! You’re a trooper for staying till midnight. I’d have left way earlier and I would not have coped with everyone being like that.

OP posts:
Winter2028 · 28/02/2025 11:56

HopefulBeckie · 28/02/2025 11:29

What?! That’s so crazy! She’s literally asking you to give your child a whole different nationality to attend a wedding 😵

Show quote history

Baby would still be British because of his dad. But baby's child wouldn't be British if baby became an expat. Not sure of Dutch nationality law lol.

I think the main issue is being uninsured as well as giving birth for the first time in a foreign country where i dont know the language. My Dutch future BIL 's health insurance is still being paid for by his parents because he hasn't found a job yet! As far as I know SIL doesn't have health insurance in netherlands though she is an eu citizen (plus british citizen) cos she hasn't paid social contributions there (though she has a temp job now so may have it now). But that just shows how difficult it is for locals let alone random non eu foreigners like me lol.

What makes it more ridiculous is that SIL hasn't set a date yet other than vague comments that she wants it to be in August as they both moved back to netherlands last year, living with family and probably have loads more important things to sort other than a wedding. MIL said that they could do a cheap wedding for 1k and she would cook the food. I asked SIL and sil said they have no money let alone 1k.

TeamGeriatric · 28/02/2025 12:15

I briefly went to a wedding about 3.5 weeks after I gave birth to my oldest, but we only did the ceremony. It was on a boat, on dry-land I might have attempted the meal. It's a bit of a distant memory but my step-sister came to her sister's wedding (my other step-sister) with a 3.5 week old, she wore him in a sling the whole time and seemed to manage late into the night. No flying involved but long drive to the wedding. I think she would have done anything possible to attend.
The passport is doable, completely different scenario, but I lost a parent (step-Dad but of 30 years) when my youngest was 9 weeks old. We found out he'd died Tuesday morning and we were on a plane from Sydney to the UK by Saturday afternoon, obviously we didn't have a passport for him when we got the news on Tuesday morning. We did pay for the expedited turn around. Probably not my favourite long-haul flight, but we all survived.

lilydragon · 28/02/2025 12:25

Travelled overseas at 6 weeks pp with both my babies including one 14 hour flight and it was completely fine, as others said babies are easy to travel with, it's the toddlers that are difficult! My DH registered the births a few days after they were born and we got fast track passports (guaranteed within a week) so they had passports by the time they were two weeks old. Obviously if you or the baby have health issues you'll need to pull out but I think everyone would understand if that was the case, but otherwise it's definitely doable!