Need to take older teens friends away with us?

sniffydog · 2024-12-09T11:01:26+00:00

Planning our summer 2025 holiday, eldest DD will be 18 and off to uni straight after. The last few holidays to Greece she has been very tricky - bored, stroppy etc. Doesn't want to hang out with us (+ 2 younger siblings) much. We just want to sit by the pool/beach and eat out in the evening but she openly says this is 'boring'. We have taken her best friend on UK holidays a few times and she was much happier with more company her own age. We were trying to take hers (and sister's) friends with us to Mallorca next year but looks like they can't come and she doesn't have anyone else she wants to bring. Yes, we've had endless --rows-- chats about 'making the best of it' etc but never get very far. So any other holiday strategy advice please! Somewhere with more activities that could suit everyone from 12-18 years? Any help appreciated...

NotOnThe · 09/12/2024 11:03

Sounds a bit Brattish if I'm honest?

museumum · 09/12/2024 11:04

leave her at home? will she not have a summer job? i know i was working long hours and saving hard the summer before i went to uni. no way could i have a taken a fortnight off my summer job (being there for the summer was the whole point of the job!)

Marblesbackagain · 09/12/2024 11:06

Why can't she go away with her friends? I wouldn't have gone with younger kids at that stage because you can't really enjoy yourself properly.

Has she said she wants to go? I wouldn't be wasting money on someone doing something they won't enjoy. I would give her the value of her holiday and let her off.

Ellerby83 · 09/12/2024 11:11

Leave her behind. My 19 yr old ds still comes on our family holidays he also goes away with friends but he wouldn't come if he didnt want to or he was behaving like this.

TheBirdintheCave · 09/12/2024 11:12

Maybe go to a beach city instead? Malaga springs to mind. It also has museums or train and bus connections for day trips if that's what she's after?

I do feel for her in a way if it's culture/exploring she's after. Being an adventurous holiday maker in a relaxed holidaying family can be tough! I'd find it mind numbingly boring too!

cheezncrackers · 09/12/2024 11:13

If she is 18 and really doesn't want to come and will spoil it for everyone else if she does, why not leave her at home? Do you trust her not have to parties? It really does sound as if it might be time for her to get a summer job and not come on the family holiday, if the prospect is so dull to her.

HardlyLikely · 09/12/2024 11:20

Let her go on holiday separately with friends.

Sprig1 · 09/12/2024 11:24

Her choices are to come and behave herself or stay at home.

Original poster

sniffydog · 09/12/2024 11:36

Thanks for the replies. Sorry I should have explained - she is going on a holiday with friends when she finishes A-levels in June. Yes, we've said can just stay at home and work etc but has said she want to come away with us. Just gets bored when we are away so trying to find the best place to go.

OP posts:

Marblesbackagain · 09/12/2024 11:42

sniffydog · 09/12/2024 11:36

Thanks for the replies. Sorry I should have explained - she is going on a holiday with friends when she finishes A-levels in June. Yes, we've said can just stay at home and work etc but has said she want to come away with us. Just gets bored when we are away so trying to find the best place to go.

Ok so put the responsibility on her. Don't take on the responsibility so she can throw it back at you.

She is 18 give her criteria and budget
Life lesson and one less thing in your list 😉.

I may be a more mean parent than you 🤣

Starlight1979 · 09/12/2024 11:53

sniffydog · 09/12/2024 11:36

Thanks for the replies. Sorry I should have explained - she is going on a holiday with friends when she finishes A-levels in June. Yes, we've said can just stay at home and work etc but has said she want to come away with us. Just gets bored when we are away so trying to find the best place to go.

Why are you pandering to her when she's been brattish and sulky the last few holidays you have taken her on???

I would decide where you and your partner (if you have one) and younger kids want to go and tell her she either comes and has a nice time and doesn't ruin it for everyone or she stays at home.

Also, surely wherever you go she can take herself off and do her own thing?! When I used to go away with my mum in my late teens we used to mostly do our own things during the day (I preferred sunbathing by the pool and she liked going sightseeing and on day trips). We would just meet back at the hotel early evening and go out for dinner together. No reason she needs to be joined to you at the hip and whinge about being "bored".

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 09/12/2024 12:08

I agree that she needs to be told very clearly that she is welcome to suss out the local bus timetable and do her own thing, but she won’t be having her holiday timetabled for her if the rest of you just want to sit at the pool.

reluctantbrit · 09/12/2024 12:58

I find it unfair if one family member is not enjoying the holiday and is then told he/she is a brat.

Isn't a family holiday something everyone should enjoy? It could be very well the last one, maybe look at doing something totally different and take the younger DD for a pool holiday in October half term?

We moved away from resorts after a holiday when DD was 15 and just not into it anymore. We did great city breaks with either a small beach break inbetween two towns or afterwards instead.

DD will have A-levels in 2025 and after long discussions what everyone hoped to have from the last hurrah we again do a two center break with a resort where there is also plenty to do outside the pool.

minipie · 09/12/2024 13:20

Mine are tweens and would find a beach/pool holiday boring so I have some sympathy with her tbh.

We have recently done a holiday in the Alps which they loved for all the activities. Also a holiday travelling round Croatia - mix of city, beach, boat so lots of variety.

I would also suggest looking at Gulet holidays in Turkey as they can be quite social and more active/varied than just in a hotel, but plenty of sun/chill too.

Or if budget allows might she be keen to do a scuba diving course? Great life skill and keeps her busy while you sunbathe. Along the same lines there are places in S France/Portugal with surf schools, or in Greece sailing or windsurfing courses.

Trimbleton · 09/12/2024 13:25

I would just leave her at home. To keep family holidays going , once they are in school I am willing to put up with the absolute horror of the board teenager on holiday. After 18 if they can’t come with a good attitude and gratitude then they can stay home.

TheBirdintheCave · 09/12/2024 13:58

reluctantbrit · 09/12/2024 12:58

I find it unfair if one family member is not enjoying the holiday and is then told he/she is a brat.

Isn't a family holiday something everyone should enjoy? It could be very well the last one, maybe look at doing something totally different and take the younger DD for a pool holiday in October half term?

We moved away from resorts after a holiday when DD was 15 and just not into it anymore. We did great city breaks with either a small beach break inbetween two towns or afterwards instead.

DD will have A-levels in 2025 and after long discussions what everyone hoped to have from the last hurrah we again do a two center break with a resort where there is also plenty to do outside the pool.

Yes this exactly.