AIBU?

[Anotheranxiousone]

I think I probably am but need opinions.

On holiday with 4 year old, 4 month old and DH. Our friends and their kids 7yrs and 4yrs with us. Staying in hotel. My 4 month old is BF, won't sleep for long stints in buggy and basically our nights are consisting of us eating dinner quickly/one of us eats ans other pushes pram aroundp while he screams because he is tired and wants to go to bed, then in ending up in the room with him in pitch black on my own from 8.30 while DH takes 4 year old to see hotel entertainment with our friend and their kids, coming back 11pm and waking us up. I feel pretty lonely stuck in room on my own all night.l while DH and daughter have fun but don't want her to make out either. Not sure there is an answer and I probably sound very ungrateful :/

Not sure what you can do. Can you BF, and then you take the 4 year old out for the entertainment whilst DH stays in the room? Take it in turns.

I would try and get baby to sleep in pram
and join them. Pretty miserable otherwise stuck in a room on your own. It feels hard to do what you want to do and get baby to fit in, but baby would if he/she had to. Give it a go

11pm is a bit late for a 4 year old.

DH should bring her back by 9:30 put her to bed so you can meet your friend - or share drinks in the balcony.

Saying that I’d enjoy the peace

I agree. Take turns staying in with the sleeping baby. Or see if you can hire a babysitter.

I always got my kids used to sleeping anywhere as babies. I didn’t want to be tied to having to get them home to bed. I found that having the pram with the bassinet attachment was perfect as it was just like a bed, they can lay flat and sleep.

Why can't DH take turns staying with the baby?

Presumably he can't breast feed

@Dartmoorcheffy presumably the baby isn't breastfeeding solidly from 8.30-11 as OP said baby wants to sleep and they are both asleep.

Could the evening meal be brought forward so you can try and enjoy meal together before your baby gets too tired? If your baby really will not tolerate sleeping in the evenings , then you take it turns .

Can’t you feed baby and then swap with your DH? He can call if the baby wakes.

If BF I don't think there's much else you can do. I was blessed with DTs who never slept in the buggy at dinner. It was a bit shit but got better.

A four month old baby does not need to "go to bed" - they feed, sleep, feed, sleep on repeat. If you had taken a sling on holiday with you, you could have worn your baby between feeds and carried on as normal but it's too late for that now, you are away already.

My baby used to cry in his pram because he didn't want to lie in it alone, he wanted to be held. Could you and your partner take turns holding the baby. My baby would sleep all through dinner and all through the entertainment if he was snuggled up in my arms, nice and cosy and next to the milk source!

You'll pick up eating one handed very easily but you'll need your DH to get you food and drinks, cut up your food for you and run around after your other child if you have a sleeping baby in your arms.

Your baby just wants to held, comforted and fed and will be fine in your arms anywhere at any time of day. You can return to your routine when you get home, just try and enjoy your holiday for now.

As a mum whose baby never slept in a pram in the evening, had colics and silent reflux at that age, I whole sympathise.
One reason we never did hotels again after one disasterours night. DD was 7 before I agreed to a hotel stay.

I think you may have to cut your losses in a way. Can you eat with baby on the lap, you first, your DH holding the baby and then swap? The noise and the lights may cause the unhappiness, so holding the baby may settle him more than being in the pram.

You then go back to your room and DH and your DD come around 9-9.30pm and you still can have a drink together on the balcony? If your baby is reliable sleeping after a feed for a couple of hours, could you go and swap with your DH and enjoy time with your friends? Or are you clusterfeeding?