Tokyo...if you hate big cities

[KenAdams]

DH hates big cities. He avoids London at all costs and isn't happy about spending 3 days in Tokyo (although we'll get there late afternoon on the first day and leave early on the last day, only giving us two full days there).

Is it going to be hell on earth for him? A lot of what me and DD want to see if in Tokyo (first time in Japan), so I've condensed the time down as much as possible.

I’m not a fan of big cities either but Tokyo is considerably different. It’s quite clean and orderly. Try to avoid rush hour on the trains as that is very busy, and some of the touristy spots will be very crowded as well (Shibuya crossing etc).

There is a Japan planning thread that I think would be very helpful in your planning:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/holidays/5152514-japan-planning-thread?page=1

Agree @whitetabby, Tokyo is quite different to many other cities as it is clean, orderly, people generally follow rules etc. It is busy but feels less stressful to me than somewhere like London (and I’m from London so used to it!)

What is it about big cities that he doesn’t enjoy @KenAdams? There may be some areas that are better for him than others to stay/visit in Tokyo. Could you do different things when you’re in Tokyo? Eg you and DD do your city stuff and he finds a more quiet activity to do (park, museum, gallery sort of thing rather than wandering around Harajuku sort of thing).

Where else are you going? Tbh I found Kyoto more hectic than Tokyo.

I agree with the others.

Tokyo is a big city but calm and orderly. I find it a lot less hectic than either Kyoto or Osaka.

What are the things that you and DD want to do in Tokyo and what is the rest of your itinerary like?

If you have lots of things that you want to do and see in Tokyo then I wouldn’t try to cram that all in to two and a bit days. You’ll just end up rushing from one place to another on crowded transport with no time to actually stop and explore the quieter, calmer places nearby.

If you’re spending the rest of the trip out in more off-the-beaten track places that suit DH, then I think there should be a compromise so that you and your DD have time to do the things that are important to you.

Don’t stay in Shinjuku or Shibuya. I would suggest the area around Ginza and Tokyo station. Ueno would be another good option.

I agree, Tokyo was far more calm than either Kyoto or Osaka! I have ASD and really enjoyed my time in Tokyo, so if that gives you any indication I think your husband will be alright (but yes, Shinjuku and Shibuya were too busy for me). I even survived rush hour twice a day because it’s still orderly, just extremely busy so that’s why I suggested if you can, avoid it, but in such a time crunch it may not be possible, I’m not sure.

Would he go for a relaxing spa day in one of the big hotels whilst you and DD enjoy your sightseeing day.?

The gardens round the Imperial Palace were beautiful and quiet.

Second this!! I loved it there, so peaceful and calming.

So we want to see Shibuya, do some shopping, electric city, buy a knife in the kitchen bit etc.

We aren't bothered about Ghibli, Borderless etc.

I think he just finds big cities hectic and crowded - we live in a small rural village whereas I'm used to cities and spend a lot of time in them, work in London etc.

Where else are you planning on going, @KenAdams? If you’re doing some quiet, off the beaten path, or countryside areas then I would definitely make sure you have some time in Tokyo for the shopping and stuff you and DD want to do.

Hakone, Osaka and Kyoto (we'll say trip to Nara etc from there).

Take him to greet the forest gods in the park surrounding the meiji shrine in harajuku. It is amazingly calm and beautiful and nothing like you'd find in any other big city.

He'll be fine for 3 days! There are many parks and shrines dotted around the city where you can escape to for some peace and quiet.

There are usually cafes on the upper floors of shopping malls and they are not crowded outside of lunch and dinner hours. He can also pop in there for a bit of respite.

Make sure to really avoid taking the subway during rush hour. I made the mistake during my first time in Tokyo and I was glad I made it out unscathed.

Why not leave him and suggest he does something else for a few days?

Alternatively, can he be very specific about his dislikes - traffic noise? people noise? Crowds per se? Public transport?

@KenAdams Tell me you are not serious about buying a knife! You cannot import a knife into the uk easily. It’s not a sensible thing to try and do.

Make sure you are not going during the Japanese school holidays or on a public holiday

https://knifejapan.com/importing-japanese-knives-into-the-uk/ You can buy a knife and import it as long as you confirm the necessary procedures in advance. You may also be able to bring it in your checked in luggage, depending on size.

Maybe he could go to a nearby park while you shop if he doesn’t enjoy crowds or shopping.

So say you go to Shibuya or Shinjuku, he goes to Shinjuku Gyoen. You go to Harajuku, he goes to Yoyogi park, or to woods around Meiji Jingu shrine. You go to Asakusa, he goes to Ueno Park. You go to Ginza, he goes to Hamarikyu Garden.

Having said that my son with autism who HATES crowds and chaos and people in his personal space absolutely loved Tokyo, even the crowded bits because people are more quiet, orderly and reserved than in many big cities.

Honestly I would have a plan for Kyoto - it’s much more hectic than Tokyo IMO, especially if you’re going to the main tourist spots. There are more tourists so less rule following. Less orderly. You may find Tokyo is fine and it’s Kyoto that’s a bit more stressful. I’m not saying that to make you worried, just you may want to have a plan of some calm, quiet things to do in Kyoto if he needs that as an escape.

I second this. Kyoto is far more hectic than Tokyo. The city (and its bus network) just wasn’t built to carry the number of visitors it gets in high season. It can get very overcrowded in popular areas. If you get away from the tourist spots you can find calm but if your DH has seen pictures and imagines Kyoto as a calm oasis, I think he’s going to find Kyoto much tougher than Tokyo. I haven’t been to Hakone, but I would say Kyoto and Osaka are both more hectic than Tokyo. I’m used to crowds (I commute by public transport in London) but found Kyoto pretty overwhelming.

The Open Air sculpture park in Hakone is beautiful with tranquil gardens. Its well worth a visit

Oh yes, Kyoto is a mess. The local government is incompetant and the subway system is feeble compared with other cities and doesn't go to the right places. So crowds of people wait in the heat (or cold....Kyoto tends to get extreme temperatures) for overstuffed buses. It's no wonder tempers are fraying in that city. I recommend trying other parts of Japan.

Second this - the modern sculpture is amazing!

Interesting. I was wondering to stay a few days in Kyoto and a few in Osaka but would it be better to base ourselves in Osaka and day trio to Kyoto?

Can you rely on taxis for Kyoto, @KenAdams ? Budget-wise, I mean. Because that would be the easiest way to get from your hotel to tourist spots. We did that for part of it and wish we had done it for everything! The buses are a nightmare so I would avoid those, due to over tourism there are long lines and the buses are jam-packed. I did very much enjoy my stay in Kyoto though, it’s a beautiful city. The train station is really cool as well.