Cancelled next years holiday abroad

[YellowphantGrey]

And feel awful about it.

Trying to convince myself a UK holiday will be ok bur I know it won't.

We've just returned from disaster holiday after two horrific flights. Holiday itself was fine but the flights were absolutely horrific. People in tears, screaming, crying, my kindle screen broken, DH hurt his back, people throwing up, all from 2 hours worth of severe turbulence on a 4 hour flight and Pilot had to speak several times. It was a night flight and all lights went out and emergency floor strip lights came on. He ended up having to fly lower to try and avoid and was prepared to divert when it started becoming clearer.

On the way over, it was an hours worth of turbulence and not as bad but still took some quite big drops, everyone lifted out of their seats on each drop. Couldn't land and had to retry which was successful second time round.

We decided today after we are all bruised and shaken that we don't really want to fly again but I'm also worried my DS will now be restricted in life and we should be forcing ourselves back on a plane.

Any ideas what to do? I don't think any sort of scared of flying course would help as even the cabin crew were crying yesterday! Apparently turbulence is set to become more frequent, common and extreme.

Cruises are a definitive no as well.

I suppose we could train or drive?

(This is a sincere comment- in this thread it seems important to specify that lol)

Every one of your replies is fascinating! You've corrected three different things I thought I knew about planes and flying, just in this thread alone :) Are you a pilot/ CC? Or just very knowledgable on planes?

@YellowphantGrey I actually think you have a point re turbulences getting much more common.
This is one recent case of unusual turbulences. I dint remember a case like that before tbh.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4nnqgexjp1o

Having said that, I’ve stopped flying too. Very different reasons than you (environment and, as a wheelchair user, I’ve had enough of airlines damaging my wheelchair beyond repair).
So I use the train. It’s just as relaxing. Quite cheap if you use an interrail pass (you dint have to go ‘interrailing’ to use them. I just go to my destination and come back). You get to see much more scenery than on a plane too.
And if you feel like it, night trains are great too.
There is really no reason why not flying will ‘restrict’ your ds or you as a family.

@PfishFood

I've heard a few times that turbulence on flights is getting worse.

There’s a lot of opinion that it is getting worse due climate change but if you read some of the academic papers, rather than the MSM tidbits, the language is often “should be” or “predicted to be”….

It doesn’t help that the definitions of things like light, moderate and severe turbulence as used by crew in reports are not completely objective … it used to be a standing joke that American Carriers reports of “moderate to severe” on the Atlantic was everybody else’s “light”…..

What’s I guess is going on to some extent when we get threads like this is that with flying having picked up again post Covid more people will be on flights that encounter significant turbulence.

The Singapore flight you mentioned has become a bit of poster boy and almost assumed to be proof of “increased turbulence” but it’s anything but.

One possibility there is that it might have been down to faulty weather avoidance, meaning the flight ran into the top of a Cumulonimbus cloud (which have always been common in that part of the world) rather than it being evidence of some form of new turbulence or down to more frequent turbulence..

I do empathise OP as I have a strong fear of flying and really have to push through. About 3 hours is my limit these days but I'm looking at a long haul trip next year - no idea how I'll manage it!
I flew to Jersey this summer, that was great because it was basically take off, 15 minutes cruising, start descending to land - less than an hour in total. Channel islands are great, pretty nice weather, lovely beaches, loads of walking, history etc.
It does sadden me a little to hear you say UK holidays are rubbish - some of our best holidays have been in the UK! We've had amazing trips in the Lakes, Snowdonia, Llyn Peninsula, Pembrokeshire, Outer Hebrides, Campervanning round the West Coast of Scotland, Exmoor, Dartmoor, Salcombe/Dartmouth, Northumberland, North York Moors/Whitby, Peak District, IoW, Cornwall numerous times. Just listing in case there's one you haven't tried. Weather normally been pretty good May half term and summer hols. We were in the Lakes during a late summer heatwave and copied the locals wild swimming in the many rivers - it was heaven!
With Cornwall, we go as far west as possible, bypass all the tourist crap of Newquay, St Ives etc and explore the many coves and beaches of West Penwith. Kids loved tombstoning off harbour walls (when safe to do so) and swam in a different beach every day, surfing at Sennen Cove etc. Love the history and distinct culture - kids learnt to count to 10 in Cornish when they were younger as it just captured their imagination.
Also recommend the Scillies - fabulous beaches and swimming/snorkelling, Short flight from Newquay or couple of hours on the Scillonian - our last trip the sea was like glass it was so still (I know we were lucky).
We do holiday abroad too, I just feel I must stick up for the UK!😀

I was worried the whole experience would restrict him and didn't want that to happen. Why would anyone want their child to be restricted?

It was a very upsetting experience and frightened all the people on the plane, it's been barely 24 hours.

I'm sorry we aren't reacting how you see fit

That sounds terrifying for you all.

is driving an option? We did a Eurocamp holiday and it was the best holiday I ever had, lovely weather, incredible facilities. I’d highly recommend

However for me as an emetophobe, my terror of vomiting passengers would cancel out any fear I would have about turbulence!

Me too, @Barbadossunset it's why I can't fly anymore and a 'fear of flying' course can't help me.

If you've genuinely never had good weather or a good customer service experience in the UK, goodness knows where you've been.

As an example we were away in the first week of August this year, it was hot and people were really friendly and helpful. And we weren't on the south coast where you'd expect it to be warmer. We've had lots of good holidays in Scotland for example, and yes the weather has been good!

Edited: we did have one bad experience in a well known pizza chain but I think the woman involved just had a cob on, and that could happen anywhere. Stroppy people exist in all countries!

We've been on rail holidays to France and Netherlands in the past few years simply because it's easier and quicker with younger dcs. It's a much more pleasant way to travel with plenty of space especially if you can be seated as a 4. We live 14 mins by tube to St Pancras so it's very easy.

Having said that, we have family in the US and we fly once a year to visit them. I think it wouldn't be an option for us to just stop flying, whatever negative experiences of flying we had.

Just Googled.
Air is the safest form of travel by a long way, safer than even walking apparently. I suppose you could remind yourself of that. I know how you feel though, I've been on planes that have felt more like washing machines surrounded by screaming crying passengers.

Just because your ds doesn't fly until he's 18 doesn't mean he'll be restricted in life. He can start flying without you once he's old enough.

Any particular Eurocamp? Driving is a possibility. We've already added interailing to the list of possibles

Yes that is really untrue. Clearly you haven't been the length and breadth of the UK if you think for example that towns and villages in Cornwall, Yorkshire, Kent and Scotland look alike. They absolutely don't.

He's already flown without me and will fly without me next year but he was shook up. I don't know why you're of the mindset it hasn't frightened him also?

We have had difficult weather in Spain from Wednesday until yesterday, a huge depression reached us from the Atlantic, basically covered the whole country and it was massively heavy rain and spectacular electric activity (thunder and lightning). All this reaches Spain from the Atlantic, you probably flew through it instead of above it or around it.
I had a notoriously scary landing at Bilbao and thought that the best I could do was get straight on another flight or I´d be scared for life.

We have been on ferries that aren’t ferries. They are just cargo ships that have space for some passengers. It’s a very different experience we went to Norway this way once.

someone suggested coaches but I would limit them to shorter distances- when I was a student I did London to Istanbul on a coach never again!!! 72 hours with the same made for tv movie on loop - the Charles and Diane love

I'm sorry OP that you had such an awful experience. I second others saying to give yourself time. It feels premature to me 24 hours after something so horrid to make decisions about future travel plans. I'd give yourself a few weeks of not thinking about it in the context of future plans and just trying to come to terms with the trauma you experienced.

I was on a horrendous flight from Malaysia to Thailand about 10 years ago that sounds similar to your description. I was so distressed by it at the time and wondered how I would fly again.

But over time I have got over it. The first flight after was awful and I had a stiff drink before getting on. I'm still twitchier than some in turbulence and I always always keep my seatbelt on. But I feel now that it was a 1 in 1000 event (don't know actual stats) and that although it felt awful turbulence is rarely dangerous. The experience of having multiple subsequent flights go smoothly has outweighed it and the whole memory has just become muted in my mind - I know objectively that it was awful but it isn't emotional to think about.

Hopefully you've got some ideas for next summer if you really don't want to fly. But I personally would get back on the horse sooner rather than later - not flying is life limiting IMO and I wouldn't want it to become a mental block. I know this might sound bizarre but I now way prefer travelling long haul. The plane just feels so much more robust and the bumps are so much better!

I've just had a brilliant uk holiday. Admittedly the weather was fab so that helped but if it hadn't there was so much to see and do that I don't think it would have mattered. IMHO, package hols have now gotten so expensive it's hard to justify spending £4k on a week away in the school holidays. Plus with small children there isn't much relaxation involved so it won't be like it was pre-kids anyway (when I mainly went to adults only anyway). Added to all that we are a neuro diverse family and airports are not the one for some family members so I guess I've kind of reached the conclusion of why put some of the family through so much stress when we can have a different kind of holiday that would suit everyone so much more. Don't get me wrong we will still go abroad but unlikely we'll do package. Growing up we never went via plane (my DM does not fly) but we did drive to south of france, spain etc and had great holidays.

Dare to be different and do something that makes you all happy... it's kind of the point of holidays.

You've had a fright. Sounds horrible really. Do something different next year then see, take it one year at a time.

For a medical reason we holidayed in the UK this year and had a great time.

Just give something different a try then see how you feel after that.

I’ve done scotland, Cornwall and Yorkshire.

I still think there are more variations in scenery/weather/houses in France than there are in Great Britain (can’t comment on NI as I havent been there).
And imo, looking at the difference you can find in France, I do feel the changes in Great Britain are smaller.

But more to the point, those difference are even smaller than those between the U.K. and other countries!

I had the worst turbulence experience some years back and fortunately seating next to me was a pilot of over 30 years experience! He did not flinch! Air travel is the SAFEST! The plane would NOT break or fall down!
Noise cancelling headphones works great for me!

This sounds really awful, OP. I'm not surprised you all feel really shaken up.

I'm going to echo what has probably been said already, trains are brilliant in europe! My partner and I got a train from Prague to Bucharest last year for 11 euros which included a gorgeous little comfy cabin with 6 seats, free tea and coffee the entire way and a really cheap food/drinks menu (60p for a bottle of beer!) then got another train over to budapest which was also fab. It was really lovely. We've gotten a lot of trains across Europe and it's always so easy/lovely! We booked them using an app called RioJet.

Maybe look into doing interrailing? I appreciate this may be more difficult depending where you are in the UK though and how old your children are though.

Give it a few weeks and you may feel differently once the initial traumatic events are further behind you and you are able to put them into perspective.

Air travel is the safest! I am off "somewhere" next month! I am an avid solo traveller! LIVE LIFE!!!!

If you hadn't exaggerated about a key thing in your OP though then there would be no need for posters to read all your updates.

Once you embellish one part of your post, people are more likely to think you're being over dramatic.