Cancelled next years holiday abroad

[YellowphantGrey]

And feel awful about it.

Trying to convince myself a UK holiday will be ok bur I know it won't.

We've just returned from disaster holiday after two horrific flights. Holiday itself was fine but the flights were absolutely horrific. People in tears, screaming, crying, my kindle screen broken, DH hurt his back, people throwing up, all from 2 hours worth of severe turbulence on a 4 hour flight and Pilot had to speak several times. It was a night flight and all lights went out and emergency floor strip lights came on. He ended up having to fly lower to try and avoid and was prepared to divert when it started becoming clearer.

On the way over, it was an hours worth of turbulence and not as bad but still took some quite big drops, everyone lifted out of their seats on each drop. Couldn't land and had to retry which was successful second time round.

We decided today after we are all bruised and shaken that we don't really want to fly again but I'm also worried my DS will now be restricted in life and we should be forcing ourselves back on a plane.

Any ideas what to do? I don't think any sort of scared of flying course would help as even the cabin crew were crying yesterday! Apparently turbulence is set to become more frequent, common and extreme.

Cruises are a definitive no as well.

I suppose we could train or drive?

Not once have I mentioned that a UK holiday is "akin to a week in a gulag" that's your own hyperbole.

What I said was because of how hard we work and the hours we put in, we want guaranteed sunny and hot weather and to fly and flop.

No matter how hard you try, that rarely happens in the UK. We've holidayed plenty in the UK but spending two weeks doing spas, museums, sightseeing, hill walking, geo caching, camping etc isn't a holiday because we all do that stuff together and seperate through the year at weekends etc

I'm sorry my "extreme" reaction to an event 24 hours ago, which I haven't fully yet processed is bothering you so much but I can't help your feelings. Maybe it's easier for the three of us to cut it off because of the amount of travel we've done already so looking into alternatives is what we are doing. My son won't be limited, he has flown without me before and will continue to take flights without me.

So sorry that happened OP. Flying is getting bumpier, I’ve certainly noticed over the past few years, as has a relative who’s a pilot.
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20240524-severe-turbulence-climate-change-singapore-airlines

I’m another one recommending train to the South of France. Bit longer, but lovely.

hope you all feel better soon.

Give trains a decent chance.

They are so fast through France and beyond and they deliver you to the centre of cities.

Also embrace UK destinations. It might surprise you.

You think your child will be restricted in life from being forced to holiday in the UK??? Get a grip

I think you were tight to cancel the holiday. Psychologically you need to feel like you never have to do that again. I once had an emergency landing -
slide and everything and I swore I would never fly again. However, my job required it so I got back on the horse and although I spent a couple of years petrified flying (sweating palms etc) meditation apps really helped.

Honestly the replies on here are ridiculous, full of people picking up and running with things, gleefully trying to trip me up, accuse me of lying, demanding answers to irrelevant questions, demanding to know all the flights I've taken then telling me I'm lying about that and now your thinly veiled attempt that our last few family holidays, which are fly and flop, are "crass" because we aren't fully emerged in language.

Give me strength.

Of the hundred odd replies, the majority are either troll hunters making snarky digs.

Is there some sort of unknown rule that people can't just scroll by a thread without stopping to cause a row?!

What a frightening experience OP. Flying has become a chore. I spent almost my entire working life at LHR so have observed change of scenery so to speak over 4 decades. Even I have been turned off going on holiday or anywhere by plane. The sheer amount of people and zero leg room ( shorthaul is a nightmare ) despite everybody getting taller are the worst.
People used to go away once or maybe twice a year on a holiday, plus visiting family abroad. Flying felt kind of special.
Now you get on a plane for on top of above : endless weekends away, concerts, stag and hen do's , birthdays , esp big ones , babymoon, weddings abroad , every wedding anniversary, major religious holidays. You name it. Cruises have mushroomed beyond recognition and filling planes with people joining them and towns where the ships dock.
This obviously creates a lot of employment and income for communities.
Then the stress of getting to hotels and the the endless sunlounger "fights".
Worst aspect of any relaxing beach holiday by far.
We often drive now, trying to avoid weekends, peak times. Or stick to 2.5 hour flights max.
Stay in villas or 1/2 hotels that often sprung up before mass tourism and can have great locations and a simplistic charm.
Search top ratings on booking sites and few *'s , you'd be amazed by the gems out there.
Alpine villages and lakes in Austria/Switzerland/Italy are also hot and sunny in summer there are plenty of swimming areas and beautiful
hotels / guesthouses.
Most of our parents used to
shove everything in the ( non airconditioned ) car and head down South just with a map, I do miss the simplicity of those roadtrips but they can still be done.
Just plan a different type of holiday OP.

As your child is 16 he will no doubt be off to do his own thing soon enough. It’s a shame one of your last family holidays has been tainted.

As a previous poster said somewhere colder is less chance of turbulence. Could you try that to reset the fear? You are only a couple of days into overcoming this experience so time might help.

OP - that sounds so scary and I would probably have had the same reaction as you.

That said, I do think you need to not make any rash decisions and just give things time to settle. I've been in quite a few near misses in my car. About a year ago an uninsured driver T boned me when he pulled out of a junction without looking- smashed right into the driver's side where I was sitting- thankfully I was ok. A few years ago I narrowly missed a huge car pile up on the motorway that killed several people. If I had left home a few mins later I dread to think what would have happened.

If I really went to town thinking "what if...." I would not have got back in my car but I did because I cannot not drive, I have to in order to live my life.

Flying is terrifying when it goes wrong (and we only hear about the nightmare scenarios) but it is still a very, very safe mode of transport. I guess all I'm saying is- the risk is there no matter what you do and that is something none of us can control.

Look up EFT on YouTube - it will help reduce any residual feelings of anxiety and then maybe re-think what you want to do in a few months time. Hope you all feel better soon x

Aibu is always full of posts supporting and contradicting
If we post for support or general musing, it's the chat forum

I apologise! Posted response thinking I was in AIBU, hence editing

We go for the weather. We've never had a UK holiday where it has been warm for a decent amount of time.

Nice trip down to the Dordogne next year? Or south of France anywhere really.

What a horrible experience.

Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?

Ironic how you're telling me to get a grip about a comment I made after an unexpected and upsetting event yet your response was also quite ott, given I'd rationalised myself a few posts in.

I suppose to read all the thread would mean you couldn't leave your scathing comment.

I hope it's made your day, being able to do that 😀

Drive, ferry ... to Santander ferry is a lovely trip and if you don't fancy the drive through Spain to the south, tour the Picos

I actually posted in the holidays forum as I was after holiday advice and tips to avoid air travel.

I assumed that would be the relevant area, how wrong I was!

I’m a nervous flyer these days after one singular incident (different to yours, I got heart palpitations on a short haul flight and have never been so scared and claustrophobic) so I know it can switch in a second.

Due to lockdowns and practicalities we haven’t taken DC abroad yet (they’re both little) but to be honest I’m not chomping at the bit. I’d say give yourself a year off holidays abroad next year, see how you feel and if you’d like to fly again try a super short haul flight to get yourself used to it again.

If you’d still like to go abroad, how about taking the Eurotunnel and doing Eurocamp? Or if DC can cope with longer train journeys there are so many amazing trips to have via train in Europe.

Gosh the replies you are getting are so bizarre!!!!!
How about exploring a UK city? (Plan ahead and book activities in, don’t expect good weather) or a UK forest holiday (with a hot tub etc) and just chill.
Otherwise we have done France and Bruges with ferry and car which was amazing!

Sounds very frightening and can definitely see it would put you off flying.
I have been on the Eurostar a few times over the past couple of years and totally loved it. It feels so much easier than flying. I went to Marseille in may (stayed in a lovely small town just outside). Easy changes (Lille outbound, Paris home bound) and arrived on time to the minute. Totally recommend it - an adventure but with easier travel, at least while you recover from your recent trip. Also, better for the environment 😊

Child is 16 so can more than cope. I started the post to find ideas for alternative holiday ideas, gave reason why and it turned into a witch hunt.

Lesson learned about coming on here for advice, it seems the few that have replied with some good advice, that I've noted and thanked for, are ruining the troll hunting for others!

OP, has stated later on that she meant to write "hundreds of flights" not "hundreds of night flights". So no harm done.

However, as a result of this typo it did make the OP sound like someone who was prone to exaggerating. Which does impact credibility. Doesn't make people "jobsworths" if they point that out. I'm really surprised you can't see that.

OP, I hate turbulence. Absolutely terrifies me. However in your shoes i think you need to do a short flight. Get straight back on the horse - which is what you should do straight away if you fall off - not for this experience to stay with you. Otherwise why only a year's break from flying? That year may become two. Then three. Then ten.

Perhaps we are all a bit stressed as it's back-to-school week (for some)
Or we just want to be back on holiday (mode of travel to be determined!)
I'm a big fan of Eurostar/tunnel as a gateway to Europe, but understand that then having to drive is a faff.
Maybe it's like horse riding - you need to get on a flight asap to recover!

Have you read the OP??

It doesn't sound like 'some turbulence'

I will add as your son is 16, that's an excellent age next year to inter rail, or just take the train to Italy maybe - journey is part of the holiday remember.

We are over landing next year on 2 wheels! (Motorbike not pedal)

What further proof would you like that I'm not exaggerating?

I might get out my diaries and compile a spreadsheet of flights taken and add them up? Would that be helpful?

I've definitely taken more than 50 night flights as we often choose those as cheaper and gives a bit longer on the final day or sometimes we've split plane journeys to get cheaper flights, including overnights to other countries to make connecting day flights.

Ah yes mumsnet can be a real pile on sometimes, sorry it’s descended into that.

My mum hates flying so we went on loads of UK breaks when I was a child (only child, widowed parent) and I absolutely loved it. We also went on a cruise when I was 16 and I honestly still look back at it as one of my best holidays and I’ve travelled all over the world!

Also if the fear goes on for a long it may be worth seeing someone about it, maybe for CBT or hypnotherapy? My bad flight experience was nearly a decade ago and I really think I should address it with someone professional because even the thought of flying makes me nervous and I used to adore flying. Fear is real and it exists for a reason so don’t do yourself down, take a year out and enjoy some UK breaks. You may feel totally fine in another 12 months 😊

Oh they've read it. They are adamant I'm lying and then I think it's them who claim to be cabin crew too.