Am I insane to consider this?

[Sunglow1921]

We haven’t been on a proper holiday since 2018 (we’ve had a couple of long weekends in the UK).

First we bought a house that we had to renovate, then COVID hit, we got married and had our first dc soon afterwards. There was always something else going on that needed attention or money.

I really feel like we need a break as a family, so I’m thinking of booking a week away in June next year. I’m looking at all inclusive resorts in Spain (relatively short flight, good entertainment options for children and, most importantly, no cooking). We’d book a one bedroom suite so we can have some space to relax in the evenings when DC are asleep. Am I insane to be considering this with a 3 yo and a 8 mo (I’m currently pregnant)? Will it be just more stress than being at home? I don’t have any experience going on holiday with small children.

DH prefers active holidays and not staying in the same place more than a couple of days. This is what we used to do when it was just the two of us, but I think it would be a nightmare with two small children. He thinks all inclusive will be boring and pointless. Am I wrong to insist on this type of holiday?

Also, if people think it’s doable, what’s the furthest you’d be from the airport? I found a lovely and reasonably priced resort, but it’s 90 minutes by coach from the airport. Is that too much after the flight?

Are we better off saving the money and going when DC are older? Is there anything else I need to consider? Any advice would be appreciated.

All inclusive worked really well for us when children were younger - I'd go for it, the not having to cook and clean for a week makes it actually a bit of a break for you. I wasn't above taking the kids to the bar/restaurant/into town in and staying out late with them sleeping in the buggy either and for me that was better than the families I saw confined to their rooms every evening. A holiday with kids isn't a holiday like you remember a holiday before them, but it's fun - your 3yo is old enough to get very excited about it which is magical. My only caveat is often on all inclusives we had a getting up at dawn to put towels on sunbeds situation. But maybe with a baby you are up at dawn anyway 😁

Forgot to say, short transfer better with 90 minutes being on the cusp. We had a 2 hour transfer through mountains once and DD2 threw up all over me as we arrived...

I travelled with my kids to Spain from a few weeks old, so no in terms of that I don't think you are mad.
However your husband will have to realise you can't have a full on activity vacation with kids that young. A morning activity, say going to a market or a bit of sightseeing then afternoon by the pool is doable. If he wants sporty activities then he will either do that on his own or swap off with you if you want to do them too. Unless there's a reliable kids club your 3 year old (baby won't have a say in it) would be happy to attend, but I have no idea if that exists for babies/toddlers.
And what about evenings? You will have to eat earlier than most restaurants would even be open, but a hotel that caters to an international market will resolve that, but unless you have a very loose bedtime routine there will be no nights out drinking wine under the stars!
We took our 20 month old and three year old for a month to Australia and had an amazing time. We moved around a lot, from regular hotels, self catered, family resorts to staying with friends. The annoying bit was the evenings, otherwise it was great, but we limited activities to half a day out, half back near the hotel.
You're not mad, but adjustments will have to be made. Talking it through with your DH how you see the holiday working before booking is essential.

Go! But don't expect a holiday like before kids but we have enjoyed ours.

It depends. What’s DH likely to be like on holiday? Is he going to hang out at the resort with you, taking toddler in pool while you look after baby (or vice versa)? Or is he going to leave you to solo parent while he goes off to ‘be active’?

Depends on what you want but Salou is a great resort for young families and if you fly into Reus it’s only 20 mins away from the resort if you end up looking for somewhere closer

We’ve never done all-inclusive so can’t comment on that but would agree that you need your DH on board with the holiday planning - you really don’t want to get there and realise you are in charge of child care by the pool all week while he does his pre-children preferred style of exploring everywhere.

Evenings would be best if you can leave any routine for the kids at home and just get them napping in buggies while you enjoy the evening atmosphere (always one of the best parts about a holiday!) But if you’re wedded to your routine, try to get accommodation with a balcony or terrace so you can sit outside with a glass of wine and enjoy the evening air once the kids are asleep.

He’s a very hands on dad, so I’m sure he wouldn’t leave us. However, I’m worried he won’t enjoy this type of holiday at all and will be bored and grumpy.

I used to love loads of activities on holidays, now with 2 children who don't enjoy being dragged around various UNESCO world heritage sites, not so much. Having endless choices at the buffet for picky eaters and the possibility of 5 minutes peace at the pool are much more valuable imo. Be aware that most all inclusive with children's entertainment don't cater to children under 3 or 4 and that the children's disco and evening shows often don't start until after 8pm. Also check if the animation is actually available because your dates will be outside of school holidays.

That’s a good point, DD has been occasionally car sick before. Also, do we need to take car seats for both DC on the coach?

I would do your research and find a resort thats near places that could be a few day trips maybe? For example if you went somewhere on the costa daurada such as salou you could have a day in barcelona ( zoo and aquariums are great there for kids) or you could go to Majorca and also hire a car- Palma is a nice day out, there great markets and caves to visit so then you would have a short flight, quick drive to resort etc

all inclusive is definitely the best way to go for that ages and you could then have a couple of trips out to break up the pool days?

Kids sleep a lot in the heat so you do end up getting time to read/walk etc if you tire them out in the pool/beach first, and they can sleep in the buggy in the evening, these places are totally relaxed

I think some sort of half way compromise would be best. We always get out and about every day with our kids, as I find hours of pool supervision much more mentally exhausting than doing excursions! But moving hotel every couple of nights with kids that age is far too much. Are you happy to hire a car abroad? This makes it much easier to get out and about.

I think you need a hotel with lots of interesting trips within 45 mins drive or so. We normally try and get out and about in the morning, have a nice lunch in a restaurant, then after lunch head back to the hotel for pool and beach time.

When our kids were the same age as yours we would:

• Visit cute old villages and towns with pedestrianised centres (let your 3 year old be tour guide and decide which streets to walk down - they love it!)
• Do short hikes with the older one having stints in the backpack carrier on DHs back and the little one strapped to me.
• Visit different beaches, go rock pooling and searching for sea life
• Visit Zoos (if well managed) and acquariums
• lunch as early as the restaurant opened so we could get them in back in the car for naps on the journey back!

I'm actually a travel agent specialising in family travel. I can advise on good destinations with day trips, and I always aim to charge no more than if you booked it yourself. Do DM me if you'd like details of my website (with testamonials).

He needs to readjust his idea of a holiday for a while! We did Siblu in France when Dts were younger and we had ddog so we could load up the car with all the shit we needed and had outside space for us in the evening when the kids were asleep. I don't have the nap in your pram through dinner type children unfortunately!

When ddog died we shifted to AI. Ibiza and Majorca mostly. Short flight, short transfers very child friendly.

Neither of these would have been my type of holiday pre kids but it worked.

All inclusive is great with kids. The first choice holiday village type places are really geared up for kids.

I think it sounds great except the transfer- car seats often aren’t compatible with coaches. I’d look at a private transfer.

Holiday villages and others do childcare/activities for under 3 and babies.

I took my 8 month old to Spain this summer to a half board hotel. Top tip for meal times is to eat separately! I went ahead with our older DS and we ate in peace whilst 8mo was taken for a little walk in the pushchair. Then when they joined us in the restaurant (15-20 mins later) I had already eaten so could entertain / feed 8mo whilst OH had their dinner - still all sitting together but one adult is completely free for baby so the other can enjoy their meal.
Sounds a bit antisocial but when we all tried to eat together, we were all trying to placate / feed the baby whilst trying to go and choose and eat our own food and it wasn’t much fun. This way everyone gets to eat hot food and wander round the buffet without a baby on their hip. We started doing this a few days into the break and it made such a difference to meal times.

We like active holidays and all inclusive would be my idea of hell. It could be a crap holiday for your DH if he feels this way too!

The issue with a coach transfer is not the travel time, it's the loading and unloading.

First they will wait for the coach to fill up with people from several flights who are going to your resort. Depending on the local geography and whether you arrive first or last, this can take between one minute and an hour or more.

Then you drive to the resort.

Then the coach tours all the hotels in the resort, dropping people off. Your hotel might be first... or last.

So a "90-minute" coach transfer could be 3½ hours. Or a "30-minute" one could be 2½ hours.

In fact the main reason to choose a hotel nearer to the airport is so that a private transfer becomes affordable. 30 minutes driving time is 35 minutes total transfer time if you have booked in advance, or if you take a taxi from a big airport like Palma (where the taxis have access to a big pool of child seats). And it will cost less than €50. Even if you buy a package that includes the transfer, it's worth considering just dumping that (but do let the reps know, so they don't make everyone else wait for you!) and going in your own private air-conditioned car after a long flight with DC.

How would you undertake the active holiday you prefer with a baby and toddler and while pregnant?

That might help OP and her partner to plan a good break.

If you really want to go abroad then yes it's a good plan. However in my experience small children don't travel well especially on planes and also don't deal with heat very well. There is also the issue of needing to take food for an 8 month old and possibly bottles to sterilise.
An UK break would be much easier, something like butlins, haven or centre parcs is very easy with small children and depending on your budget you could save enough money to eat out or have takeaways for dinner so you get a break from cooking.

In contrast I have found the UK breaks harder and a let down in compared to foreign holidays with small children, have not felt they were with the effort at all and kids were worse behaved and harder work as don’t have the same relaxed evening vibe to being abroad. Also quite often more expensive.

A lot of it is the attitude and approach of the parents themselves, so whether or not it will suit you and your DH is very dependent on you both.

I have found package holidays mega easy and simple with children, have been going since babies and done 10+ holidays by young primary age and all over the world with them, no issues at all.

Just don’t expect it to be like holidays pre-children and relax into a hotel set up with pool etc.

OP - you could also do much more activity based holidays but that would be harder work, we have done both but an all inclusive for a first go would be my vote.

It's absolutely doable, you just need to manage expectations. It won't be like the holidays you had pre-children, it's pretty stressful travelling with young children and the change of routine can lead to tantrums and disrupted sleep. But it's a change of scenery and not having to cook and clean for a week so worth the effort of getting there.

Pick a hotel with a few little water slides and a kids club (you can usually use the club even if under 4 years old but you will need to stay with them), then one of you can be with the eldest while the other relaxes by the pool with the baby asleep in pushchair. Ours loved the face painting, crafts, mini disco etc. at that age. You could always hire a car just for a day, but it's a bit of a faff sorting car seats and they tend to be pretty poor quality.

A compromise could be something like center parcs in Europe (Erperheide is perfect for that age) or Bluestone in Wales. They have options for food on site if you don't want to self cater, nice baby friendly pools, play areas and activities for eldest DC. You also have the car with you so can easily venture out if DH gets fed up.

We booked an adult only hotel in Benalmadena, B n B only this year for a few days at the end of a couple of weeks touring. Arrived at the hotel to say we had our booking cancelled and moved to their sister hotel nearer to Malaga, the Riu Costa de Sol. Not what or where we wanted to be, and we were quite angry about the move. However, it was AI and they gave us a nice suite with a sea view to compensate. If you want a family AI hol, close to the airport, only 15 mins away by Uber, this would be perfect. It is 30 min walk along the seafront to Torremolinos, which if you want to be in the heart if things is a bit far out. But, there are some excellent beach bars along the front, a fabulous beach with all the facilities you can want. The staff at the hotel could not do enough, very well organised, nothing too much trouble. The shower was the best I have had anywhere. A full programme of stuff going on, 2 main pools and a smaller area for toddlers, paddling pool, pirate ship slide. If you want a change a 15 min walk takes you to the train, another15mins you are in Malaga, or by a large shopping outlet if that's your thing, or a taxi wouldn't be expensive, both Uber and Bolt service the area. Plenty of sunbeds available too. The hotel was a bit big for us, about 600 rooms, but although the main restaurant was busy, it was well organised, with plenty of options to suit most tastes. They also have a couple of smaller restaurants that are more relaxed. It is a difficult change from having holidays as a couple to taking children, and priorities change. DH will have to get used to looking at how you can have a holiday that gives you all a break.

Well it’ll be a change of scenery, but it won’t be like a holiday.

If it were me I wouldn’t do it. Our holiday this year with a 5 and 8 year old was so stressful. I couldn’t wait to get home.

You're not insane and it works for a lot of people. The advantage of AI is no shopping, no cooking, no cleaning, so while with small DC it's just childcare in a different place, at least you've none of that! You will also (hopefully) have at least one pool that's suitable, a decent playground, maybe a kids club or entertainment and nice weather. Go with reasonably low expectations and you should have a nice time.