Guilt

[KG062024]

First time posting here as I feel like I have nowhere else to turn.

I apologise now for the long post.

We are a “blended” family. I have a DS (15yo) and DD (13yo) and my husband has two DS (19 and 15 respectively).

my husbands sons do not live with us permanently (they stay with us every other weekend) but for the last 4 years we have gone on family holidays together.

We fly home tomorrow and I have just said to my DH that this holiday feels like the biggest waste of money we have ever spent.

My DD has been stroppy, rude, not wanting to talk to anyone other than me and when she does, I’m lucky if I’m not getting some sort of narky comment. She’s quite happy to sit in the room all day on her iPad.

I do sympathise with the fact that she is the only girl and this year no one has really engaged with her but that’s because she is just so rude, they simply don’t want to.

To make it worse I have seen messages she has sent to her dad telling complete lies about this holiday and that infuriates me. He does the bare minimal with them yet is still idolised.

DH two boys have been “perfect” compared to mine and when DH said “maybe we just don’t go on holiday together next year as a family” I took it really personally.

I have seen other posts on here with girls who are coming into teenage years and I know it will pass, but I feel emotionally drained and really lonely.

Thanks for reading x

I think All family holidays with teens can be fraught. It's not just because you are talking about a blended family.
There have been plenty of posts on here from all sorts of families having troublesome holidays due to teens.

My point - is don't be too disheartened.

I've just come back form a holiday with Teens myself. Myself and my 2 (19 and 17) and my BF and his 17 year old. All my 17 year old wanted to do was stay in their room - didn't join any of the activities we arranged. I was so upset during the holiday. But TBH - i realised - thats just what they wanted to do - chill in their room and relax. They were more than happy just doing that - despite it being frustrating for me. When we got back they said they'd had their best holiday in ages! LOL

What type of holiday have you had OP? Has it catered to your DDs needs? I'm realising that as my DC are getting older they need more interaction with people their own age so and all inclusive will suit us more next year.

How do you feel about holidaying separately? Myself and my DP holiday with our own DC separately and I far prefer it. I think all the DC do too.

We’ve always gone SC on the holiday as she did used to enjoy going out to restaurants but this holiday she’s had a face like thunder every single evening.

Shes not a confident child so there could
be another girl her age here and she wouldn’t talk to her.

We did used to do seperate holidays but my son would get bored/miss out because my daughter isn’t as adventurous as he is (so water parks/sports were a no no).

She has always been very particular (she was diagnosed with mild autism in year 3) but I can’t see anyway I can keep both of my children happy on holiday.

We always book 2 apartments as there are so many of us and maybe seperate holidays are the way forward but I know my son will miss out because my daughter won’t want to do anything

A family holiday to Turkey 12 years ago with my ex partner and our 4 kids saw the beginning of the end of our relationship.

He caught his DD15 smoking and absolute flipped. They ended up having a massive fight and I had to drag him off her. His behaviour was appalling and I lost all my trust, love faith etc in him at that moment.

Both his DD (13 & 15) were awful during that holiday.

We separated shortly after. Holiday with teenagers are hard.