Single mum with kids

[Whoknowshere]

Hi all,
my husband just left me, we had booked an Airbnb for 2 weeks in Sardinia with our 6 and 9 yo daughters in a small town with beach so I went in my own. it is full of families. I get continuously asked where is my husband. It is also pretty lonely and there is nothing to do. Normally we would go to local market, cook at home and go to local restaurants but it is extremely tiring on my own with the kids (maybe I am just not used to it..)
I am not dreading any future holidays. I am also thinking about our week long skiing holiday where there were only traditional families and did not see any single parent. The kids stay at the baby club and parents go to the spa and have dinner in the adult restaurant and would be awkward to be alone.
where do single mums go on holiday with kids?

It's very early days for you and you are probably still in shock about your new situation. Give yourself time and you will develop a way of managing on holidays. Try not to think too far ahead. Do you have a sibling with kids who might join you next time or go on the skiing trip with you?

OP I was a lone parent for many years. It does take a little while to get used to being on your own but honestly I grew to love it.

There are some single parent holiday companies out there so do check but what I did like with my DD is where it's either all inclusive or an apartment style hotel with a good kids club.

That way your kids can have a wild time but you also get some downtime.

Places I enjoyed with her were with Scott Dunn I also used TUI one year. Either HB or AI. We have done Croatia, Ibiza and Portugal etc

My DD is now 15 so we have done more travelling to the US, Florida etc but we are headed to an AI in Cyprus late august this year.

In the UK we have enjoyed surfing trips (you can get lessons for kids) at places like Woolacombe and Harlyn. Those are more Static caravan type holidays which DD loves (although I got to say I find being in a caravan a little challenging )

camping was always my go to - we camped all over the country

I’m doing an AI this summer in Spain. For myself and 2 children 5&6. Hotel has a waterpark/splash pad and kids club so I know I’ll get a bit of downtime. 2 hr flight.

Thank you!
I am completely new to that as I usually organise my holidays renting through Airbnb or booking a local small hotel and I have never been on a packaged holiday such as Tui, even as a child. They scare me a bit… I do not do camping or caravan, never have and I would not even know how to start. I feel the preparation could be too much.
is https://www.aiholidays.co.uk/ the AI holidays you refer to?
It seems such a family holiday from the website… I am feeding the kid club that leaves me eating at the restaurant alone (as per the skiing holiday we go to) and alone in the evening while all adults couple mingle. I would just go back to my hotel room honestly.
can you please name the single holiday companies you refer to?
thsnk you!

Thanks. No siblings and no single parent friends. In my circle and also in my kids classes would be the only single parent and everybody else I know is a family. Some divorced but re married parents. I do need to create new friends but not easy and honestly not so much in the mood now as dealing with sadness, anger, and just trying to stay afloat and get things working practically in the day to day. On holiday now and dreading Christmas, skiing holiday (which I would probably have to skip) and any other holiday…

https://singleparentsonholiday.co.uk/destinations/#singleparent

I’m going to be brave next year and take my girls.
I find being a single parent pretty easy on a day to day basis, but school holidays and Sundays I do feel lonely.

I found holidays with lots of good days out worked best for me and my DS and then chill in the evenings.

I was a single parent for a while and now holiday with my DC and my DP holidays with his DC separately.

I remember years ago heading to Centre Parcs and we were surrounded by families that were both parents and kids. It just felt like we were the odd ones out. One day I was chatting with a dad at the park whilst the kids were playing and as soon as the mum appeared the conversation stopped almost mid sentence.

Over the past 10 years we have had some fantastic trips. When they were younger I would book a villa out if season and our little unit would just enjoy the pool and beach. Now we have city breaks and more adventurous holidays like island hopping in Croatia, small apartment complexes in Greece and Spain.

Yes, it's all consuming having them constantly but it gets easier and so much fun. Plus, this time will come to an end (which is happening for me and feels really quite sad). But these trips just the three of us have been perfect.

When choosing a holiday I stay away from the typical Tui AI package deal but now it's because I detest that amount of people rather than feeling like the odd one out because as time goes on you really care less and less.

The first was the hardest, but it gets easier. I'm 12 years in now. The kids are teens and can be left while I pop to the shop etc.
I don't do package holidays either. We tend to go for holidays with lots of stuff to do, which again is easier as they get older.
I like youth hostels as there are always people to talk to. Also camp sites (go for the glamping options, or static caravans - just like air b+bs then) as the kids have freedom to play outside and make friends.
Driving to France was good at their age.
We've travelled all over since, including south east Asia.
Do what you'd enjoy.
Have a good book and wine for evenings.
You'll get used to saying your single without feeling you stand out like a sore thumb. No one else will be thinking this (and judging by some posts on here some will be wishing they were too).

I expect many of them are too poor to afford these types of holidays?

If I holiday it is a kid focused one like butlins or a weekend to something the kids are currently into. Like you noticed it's lonely for the adult otherwise and everyone seems coupled up

I took my 4 year old to Butlins. Plenty of activities to do together.
Not much downtime but holidays at that age are for the kids.

I was a single parent from the start so I imagine that's a completely different proposition from someone that remembers lovely family holidays.

The best package holidays were cruises. There's was so many different types of people on board it doesn't feel awkward. If you book one with lots of ports you have a fresh purpose everyday. Also fun for the kids to see Pompeii or Pisa or other places you wouldn't want to spend a whole week visiting.

Other than that I found city breaks good especially if they have a beach. Barcelona, Antibes, Palma, that sort of thing. Kids can stay up late and be your company for dinner. Get somewhere that has a living room ( or a balcony if it's a hotel) so you can drink wine and read when they've gone to bed.

I'be been a single parent since dc were tiny (and even when i wasn't ex didn't come on holiday with us). No one has ever asked me where my husband was. We've been on every type of holiday from activity to beach to Uk break. I wouldn't go on holiday with dc then go to an adult only restaurant or put them in a kids club all day, that seems daft. They are at an age now where they are really good company so far easier than when they were toddlers/ young primary age. Maybe just look for more family inclusive holidays. You will definitely get used to it.

Gosh people can be so rude. I'm a single mum and I've had all sorts mainly off the elderly people "where is your husband". Remember OP you are not obligated to tell a stranger your personal circumstances say he's died that will make them think twice! I've just said he's away on business at times....

I've been holidaying alone since DS was 3 years old it's never bothered me DS goes off and does his own thing a bit more now he's 9. Lots of mums are married but are on holiday with just the kids.

I think you just need to adapt your holiday a little, plenty of single parents go away with just their kids. I think it's a bit rude to ask where your husband is!

If it was me I would be happy to take my 2 DDs to an all inclusive resort type of holiday and book excursions from the hotel. That way I could relax too. I wouldn't be confident to drive abroad or to do much UK driving (I just find driving quite stressful if i don't know the roads) so I just wouldn't book that kind of holiday. I would also want to make sure we had daytime flights and not be arriving somewhere strange in the middle of the night.

Another option would be going with another single parent family? Or I would probably go with my parents

I am not a single parent but I have been on some AI holidays and the set up you describe as kids at baby clubs and parents having dinner together alone would be very unusual, it’s been very family oriented with families with their kids at dinner and also the evening entertainment with everyone up late together having a nice time. I don’t even know if there was kids club at dinner time. Have seen plenty of different family set ups there: one parent only, extended families, one parent with grandparents etc. That is appallingly rude that anyway has asked where your husband is.

Thanks all for your answers. it is really helpful to know there are options. I don’t really know anyone who is a single parent but I think I need to start making new friends. I have also noticed our old couple “friends” are shunning me and avoiding me….
In this holiday I found really hard to manage the kids. They are really difficult, loads of crying, not listening, misbehaving. I think it’s because of the situation, they are obviously sad and hurt. But they were not easy kids even before, although probably they felt things were not good for the past few years. they really do not listen and I need to repeat things 100 times (brush your teeth, put the suncream) they don’t want to do anything and I end up threading to take away ice cream or video time etc, and shout when really need to be listened (such as do not cross the road and they run away to do it..) At dinner they can’t stay still, they have no table manners despite me repeating and repeating and punishing them. This is probably another issue that I need to tackle with some help.. but does make me dread the holidays and the single parenting… sorry for big detour here.. still much at loss

OP you will find your way with this, it is early days.

Would any of your friends go away with you and their kids without their partners? That may be an option.

I go on holidays with just my DC even though I’m married, we do family holidays too but I typically take them abroad for a week in the summer just me too, it’s a case of choosing an option that works for that - personally for me that is not self catering, airb&b or places that are too small as I would feel on my own with that. A decent all inclusive package with nice pool and things close by so it is all very simple, always other solo parents around too.

You may need to broaden your horizons on ski holidays, yours sounds very specific, there are lots of options for ski holidays and many do not involve only the parents socialising in the evenings etc

18 months single here and I am currently on holidays solo with teen boys and its diabolical - glued to phones, not wanting to do anything yet bored, staying with family in a Med destination so there's bleedin loads to do! The holidays that worked best last year were those with groups of friends camping so we didn't get p'd off with each other's company as they could go off with their mates and I could recluse to our tent if needed for half an hour. Next year, I will involve them a lot more in decision making about where to go!