Advice

[alexis97]

Hey guys, we're on our first family holiday to Benidorm with our toddler 2 (tests pending for ASD) and 4mo baby. We are here with our in laws too.

I don't drink but everyone has been putting the pressure on for me to, I have been very kind in refusing their offers but they never seem to get the hint. I just don't like it, I get nothing from it. So MIL and SIL want to go and sit in some bars today and just drink, watch some shows and listen to music without the children, I am being expected to come along too. I will get absolutely nothing from this experience and I don't want to leave my children, it's a family holiday and I want to be with my children, but I know this is going to cause some tension... how do I handle it?

Politely but firmly say no. Explain that your expectations of the holiday are different and it’s very kind of them to invite you along but you want to spend time with the children. Could you meet them half way and go along later?

God I really hate it when people won't take 'No' for an answer! Be firm OP. It's your holiday and you have really small DC - I wouldn't leave them to go and sit in a bar either - and I'd have probably really enjoyed it!

Update: I text MIL to let her know I wasn't going and I got a reply saying it was okay.

Myself, DH and children went down to the pool and were greeted with pure animosity because DH doesn't want to go out Saturday either. We have spent so much time with our family on this holiday and have been away 6 days, we've been out once just the 4 of us. We were asked if everyone was okay because we've barely spent time. We've been out with them everyday. BIL is a proper mummy's boy and never leaves her side and isn't a nice person to be around. I really believe he was part of stirring up this mornings confrontation.. we can't be with them every waking minute. They are same floor we are 9 floors up.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but maybe you should all have stated your expectation from going on holiday together ?

However, you will know for another year to go just as your own family unit.

In terms of 'how to' you just say "No thanks, dh and I are taking the dc to the pool / beach / wherever. Will we see you at dinner ?"

I think you'll just have to put this holiday down to 'experience'. At least now you know to NEVER go on holiday with your DH's family again! I hope you manage to salvage a few small crumbs of time for yourselves. Family holidays can be tough, even if you all get on, because everyone's expectations are different.