DD suddenly scared of flying

[Anxiousmumof]

Hi my 9 year old DD has flown about 6 times short haul & never had any problems. A few weeks ago we flew to Spain for a family holiday & she was petrified!!! She’s quite an anxious child anyway but this was completely out of the blue in regards to flying. She kept asking me about the plane if it was going to crash etc I explained it’s safer than a car & offered lots of reassurance. However I didn’t realise how scared she was and once in the airport queing to bored she puked everywhere!!! All because she was really scared. On the plane she was baulking during take off & visablly shaking it was scary to see I thought she was going to have a panic attack! Here’s the problem in September we’re flying to Florida a 9 hour flight and she’s saying she doesn’t think she can go. This holiday has been booked for a year and she’s been so excited! I don’t no how to help her. I can offer reassurance & talk her through it but I don’t think itl be enough the fear is already there. What can I do? Should I make a gp appointment? Will they do anything? Therapy? Genuinely don’t no what do but don’t want to do nothing. I’m worried that if she vomits she could be refused to fly incase they mistake it for illness. Any advice?

Have a (free) chat with Therese Langford of https://www.facebook.com/calmmindhypnotherapy She specialises in children with anxiety.

Thank you all for the advice & recommendations. I have been intouch with virgin & unfortunately their fear of flying courses are aimed at adults but they have kindly offered to do a video call with us & speak to her that way, so fingers crossed with that & lots of reassurance she’l be ok! We’ve been checking flight radar daily & talking about planes non stop to try & get her excited & it seems to be working.

I’m so happy to hear Virgin have agreed to do the video call; hopefully it will help to ease her mind. I’ve had a crippling fear of flying since I was 20 following a horrific flight. My sister works as cabin crew and has always encouraged me to let the cabin crew on board know about my fear. My hubby now informs them every time we board the plane, and in the vast majority of cases they couldn’t do more to put my mind at ease, and check up on me at regular points during the flight and especially during turbulence. Virgin staff in particular, have always been marvellous - just seeing how calm they are and having them tell me there’s nothing to worry about, helps massively with my anxiety.

Virgin's fear of flying course was expensive but cured me. While we were doing the adult bit there was another room with a child version of the same course.

This is exactly what happened to me as a child and I’ve had a terrible fear of flying ever since.
As an adult I have been prescribed diazepam which really helped. Maybe worth seeing a gp to see if there’s anything they can offer for a child?

Would it be worth taking her to an airport to see the planes taking off and landing ? You could tie it in with flight radar

When you next time you're on a plane with your daughter let the crew know. They are really helpful with this like this and are very supportive.

I went a few years without flying when my children were young and suddenly developed anxiety about it when we booked a flight to Florida.

It was looking a flightradar that cured me. Watching so many flights taking off and landing safely and seeing just how many flights are active at any given time helped me to rationalise things.

If you did want to explore counselling, and can pay private, I would suggest looking on the Counselling Directory website. You can filter by location, age, issue (i.e. anxiety) and you can search for play therapy (which is good for children). It's a bit like a dating profile for counsellors, they have pictures and some info on who they are. Always look for somebody signed up to one of the counselling bodies, the most common one being the BACP (British association for counselling and psychotherapy).

I took mine out in may and will again be taking them out in October! I birthed them I’ll take them out when I want

Is she afraid of a mechanical issue? Or something else?

I ask because my biggest fear is someone hijacking the plane, which I know is completely far fetched, but I now sit at an aisle seat and survey the cockpit door area 😅 like I'd be able to do anything anyway, anxiety is so irrational 🤣

But seeing the cockpit door and the aisle does really help me relax, even though I'm hardly Idris Elba 🤣

Maybe if she has a window seat and can see the plane take off smoothly etc, it will help. It might make her feel more in control.

Hi OP.

I’m cabin crew and would recommend persisting with the airline re what fear of flying courses / conversations they could offer your daughter. The passenger assistance team are usually very good with things like this.
They should update the flight information attached to your daughter’s seat that she is scared of flying and whichever crew are working the section where you are sitting will be made aware of this in their pre-flight briefing. Myself and many of my colleagues deal with nervous and scared passengers everyday and we’re more than happy to spend some time sitting with them / work with the family to reassure them and do whatever we can onboard to help them.

The OP didn't post to ask about whether they should take a term holiday did they though...🙄🤨

Remove technology, don’t let her watch the news if she is anxious.

I will also suggest getting her to listen to some meditations for anxiety. Look at the mindful movement in you tube. I put it for my child every night before she goes to bed and remove the ipad when it finishes or before I go to bed. It made a massive difference

I listen to them a lot myself

I’m terrified of flying but things that help me are: sitting in the middle of the plane over the wings as it minimises the feeling of turbulence.
I like a window seat as watching the plane take off (bizarrely) comforts me.

As an alternative to this - I always sit just in front of the wings (so I can't see them ) and always in the aisle seat - never look out of the window and I try to forget I'm on a plane . I always read but watching a film would work too .