Turbulence

[coconutroyal]

Hi so we go on holiday next week, it has been booked for months, my partner has been saying since we booked it (he helped choose the villa) that he now doesn’t want to go - uses every excuse and gets abusive about it in front of the children - then in the next breathe he starts talking to the children about we’re going to do and is fine again. Then yesterday happened with turbulence now he is saying he’s not going and I’m neglectful taking the children and he won’t allow it! I don’t know what to do - we all chose this holiday together and have had a countdown for months (which he Joins in with when it suits) do I cancel it and loose £4500?

You go without him. Easy. Then get some advice from the Relationships board about your abusive DP.

You stop placing value in his word. You go regardless with kids and when you get back you figure out if you want to be with this man.

Is he scared? Why doesn't he want to go? Is he like this about other things? Why does he think it's appropriate to say in front of kids?

Is your husband clumsily trying to cover up anxiety about flying? The turbulence news was awful but it was incredibly extreme, otherwise it wouldn’t have made the news.
It would be an awful shame to lose all that money and you and dc to lose out on the holiday experience. Also you don’t want the dc to pick up on the anxiety as it will spoil traveling for them in the future. Go without him if necessary.

Is he afraid of flying OP? A lot of people are. On the surface of it, his behaviour is controlling, but from posts I've seen on MN over the years, many (I'm assuming) female MNers have admitted to behaving in a somewhat similar way, while admitting that it's because they're really afraid.

As to what you should do - you should tell him that you and the kids are going with or without him. Make it clear that he is not going to throw £4.5k down the drain. And point out that a) he can keep his seatbelt on the whole way and b) the Andaman Sea is a notoriously bumpy bit of airspace to cross - so unless you're crossing any tropical seas you won't experience turbulence like the poor people on that Singapore Airlines plane did.

If your husband is abusive then it’s better he doesn’t go.

It better for your children that they’re no longer abused and you leave him.

I'm sorry that you're in this kind of situation - I understand that flying can be scary but it if he is scared then his reaction shouldn't leave you feeling like this.
If you do find yourself stuck and don't want to miss out on the money side of things then you can sell it on transfertravel x
https://www.transfertravel.com/
I hope this helps x

@coconutroyal make sure everyone wears seatbelts when seated. That
would help in an emergency.

Where is this? could he/you travel by train if he refuses to fly?