Autism/SEND friendly/accepting European destinations

[HamBagelNoCheese]

Hiya,

We've gradually been building our 5 year old (autistic/ADHD) up in terms of holidays and starting to think about looking at Europe now, ideally 2 hour plane radius, up to 3 at a push. Eurostar/le tunnel and a drive is also a up for consideration (driving would make things much easier in terms of safe foods etc!).

Any recommendations for destinations? Happy to consider anything, he enjoys a city break but his happy place is the beach 💙

I never thought I'd say it as a parent, but I wish he'd just eat a bloody McDonald's 😂 would make my life so much easier at times!!

I always booked areas which weren't popular with families (more business destinations) as it worked for us, road trips therefore were more our thing but I know not to everyone's taste. Often they were the only kids in the hotel so quiet pool.

Yes mine is like a different child on holiday - normally at home he's hard to get out the house but he would announce could I make 66% of his time outside on holiday doing activities. It was like his whole year of activity was condensed.

What sort of issues are you concerned about? I have two DC with ASD. One doesn't like the heat and is a very fussy eater. The other finds it hard to be in places with lots of people around. So self-catering in France works well for us. We pack up the car with lots of familiar things and take safe foods (peanut butter!). However, I would say France overall isn't very tolerant of "visible" SEN so it depends on the individual child's needs.

When we went to Australia mine asked every night could we go to McDonalds. Well apart from the time he asked could we go to the restaurant we had been to yesterday but had to point out we had flown 1000 miles since then. It did save us a fortune though not my first choice in food.

Yes I thought I must be the first parent ever to be happy her child now eats chicken nuggets. I used to have to go through with him where we were going in detail in advance and once we were going to Australia after Sweden previous year and we stayed on a farm in Sweden. We were staying at different places in Australia and every place he asked me to go through differences with that hotel in Sweden and you would go to about 10 then he'd say about from that will it be identical and I'ld say yes then he'd be fine. Though I remember him saying I was only to book places that did hash browns with breakfast but just told him they all did and once we got there he'd forgotten and was fine.

My two could squabble on car trips but if you've just the one that should help with that. I do like places you get pool to yourself.

Great thread, OP. I'll share my thoughts but also here for all the other recommendations and advice!

My DS is 7 and autistic. We've travelled to France a lot to see family and friends. We've always booked self-catering which is work for us (same shit different location!) but important to us to have the option to make meals and snacks without going anywhere. I think for me the ideal would be an aparthotel with child-friendly restaurants but I haven't found one in France!

We've used all different modes of transport - here are the pros and cons of each in my experience:

Car plus ferry or eurotunnel: pros are being able to pack loads including safe/favourite foods, car is familiar, if you get the ferry it can be fun for the kids (take child-friendly travel sickness tablets though) and it gives them a break from being in the car, they can eat and run around etc. Cons are obviously long travel time or limiting yourself to places within easy reach of UK, Calais or other ports. Plus we can all get a bit sick of being stuck in the car. If there's a lot of driving I try to plan nice stops with opportunities for the kids to burn off energy.

Train (Eurostar + TGV in France or equivalent elsewhere): pros are it's fast and comfortable, the kids can get up and move around on the train, eat, use toilet, etc. You can't take as much luggage as when driving, but you don't have to worry about liquids, suitcase weight, etc. Cons are it's expensive, you can only take as much luggage as you can carry on and off the train, and it can be stressful if you're worrying about disturbing other passengers. It is our favourite mode of transport though.

Plane: pros are you can go further afield, depending on transfer times it can be quicker than the other two options. Cons: I personally find airports very stressful, and dislike flights as it's all a bit cramped and you sometimes have to stay in your seat. Plus you can't take as much luggage as you would in the car, packing is a bit stressful because of weight limits and not being able to take liquids in hand luggage, etc. My least favourite option.

Take dry safe foods with you, crisps, cereal etc. last time I went away (2019) I took some tins of Heinz tomato soup and some pink lady apples (only ones DS will eat). Would love to go away as it’s been years but now he’s getting older I’m finding it more exhausting being his mum and can’t face spending a small fortune to just be stressed in a different country.

Something else I’ve just remembered- before we went we spent a lot of time letting Ds watch various you tube videos about the airport / the resort / the particular beach etc. You can find pretty much any resort on you tube with walk throughs etc and that really helped him to know what to expect.

It’s different for all of us so I don’t know how helpful this is…

I always book a self catering apartment or villa. Sometimes DS is ok to go to restaurants and sometimes he isn’t. A hotel or complex wouldn’t suit us as he is uncomfortable around other kids and just the idea of busy shared spaces makes me shrivel with fear 😳

I try to keep the flight within 3 hours (ideally less) and always request special assistance. I alternate between beach and cultural stuff, but only outdoor stuff that he can roam around. He likes roaming.

We really loved the Costa Brava. Flew to Girona, hired a car and stayed in Tossa de Mar. Alternated between beach and day trips. We have also had success with winter holidays in southern Spain; much quieter but still ok for DS to play on the beach.

Other trips have been to Venice - he liked travelling on boats, copious ice creams, endless wandering in interesting looking places etc. Also Cascais, beaches, food, train to Lisbon.

I don’t think it’s so much the place as it is his level of regulation which goes up and down. He’s mostly non verbal but does appear to like holidays because he regularly tells me to take him to the airport.

I think you need to think about what your child feels comfortable with and what you actually like and try to find an intersection.

I think you need Denmark. Specifically Billund for Legoland, Lego House, wow Park and the west coast or Rømø for beaches. They've caught on to the sunflower lanyard thing, and if queues are hard for him you can apply for something that I can't remember the name of (helpful) at Legoland to skip the q. He will be able to eat at the hotel, Castle hotel and at Legoland as the Danes LOVE a buffet. At least the ones in Jutland do.

For DS we have found cruises from Southampton work best. The staff on board are fantastic and they accommodate very well for restricted diets. Going from Southampton means I can easily take everything he needs!

I'm an adult with ASD. I can't recommend EasyJet enough- staff are well trained, customer service is excellent. Also can't recommend Birmingham Airport enough. Gatwick is also v good. Birmingham has a quiet room, Gatwick has a pre bookable sensory lounge and loads of info on the website.

We went for our first AI last year and went to IKOS in Greece (although it is ridiculous prices in school holidays, we went out of season). It was amazing, plenty of quiet places, same routine every day and the buffet was outstanding with plenty of "safe" foods for kids if that's what you need (I'm mostly okay with food), eg plain pasta every day, chips every day, cheese and tomato pizza every day. The staff were also really nice and understanding. However a friend's Greek family does not understand her son's ASD at all, and she tells me that is cultural, so I wouldn't necessarily recommend Greece for DIY.

Thank you all for your suggestions, recommendations, insight and tips - very much appreciated! Going to sit down tonight and have a good look through and maybe make some travel plans for next year 🤞

Oh, and today we're going to try brioche - can get that anywhere, right 😆

Brioche…. If you’re just talking about bags of little brioche rolls, I’ve found that Asda’s are horrible and Morrisons barely any better. Tescos are fine and M&S are lovely. I recommend the chocolate chip ones. Haven’t tried brioche from other supermarkets.

I got sainsburys ones. He wouldn't touch them (we don't put any pressure on him to try new things) which is a shame as I'm almost certain if he actually tried it he'd really like it!

He also doesn't like chocolate (sometimes I question whether he's actually my child)

I’m sympathetic - my child refuses to try them too and I know she would love them.

Doesn’t like chocolate?! 😯

Travel in a way that's beneficial for your DC and others ie if they're going to scream for hours in a plane then do not fly

We normally do holiday village - I'm fairly sure holiday village and Tui blue are pretty similar. What things does he struggle with in general?

I know food can be a concern -

Food wise the buffet has a range of breads, a range of cheese, plain penne pasta or plain spagetti - add meatballs or bolognaise or just sauce yourself, lots of ham..

I'm only mentioning them as they're the ones you mentioned there is also loads of other stuff -

breakfast = help yourself to pancakes, waffles, cakes, donuts, eggs boiled scrambled or fried, bacon, sausages, a station where they will cook crepes or omelettes how you like it, fruit bar, salad bar, cold meat section, breads for roasting or just eating as is, 2 or 3 flavours yoghurt and cereal. The usuals on the cereal - Rice Krispies, shreddies, Cheerios, coco pops, corn flakes... ours ended up eating a lot more than he would at home

Lunch and dinner are similar though lunch doesn't have the toasties,

mix of toasties with ham or cheese, pasta (plain - add your own sauce/cheese) chips, pizza, variety of vegetables, potato's, rice dishes, a hot meat station with 4 or 5 options, cold meat station with a range of hams/other cold meat slices and cheeses, bread again - toaster not available I don't think. Carvery days etc. there's also vending machines with crisps etc at the sites and usually a much cheaper shop a close walk with them and other items - we took a load of oat bars as we knew ours would miss oat bars but everything else we ate from the site.

It's harder if you go to one of the speciality restaurants as you're given a menu to pick just one starter, main, dessert from. I think you can ask for these in advance of your holiday - I asked for them at reception before booking and only did one of them once as the others I knew my little one wouldn't eat there and it seemed a shame to have to eat there then go to the buffet for him after!

Depending on what you are looking at many have beach access as well as swimming pools plus water splash park. If he's into water the splash park/slides are a godsend!! Ours spent so much time at the one in Ibiza it really made the holiday. :) we do beaches too which he likes for a while but it's the water slides that are always the main attraction!

Have a look/maybe make a shortlist and I'm sure you'll get people with experience of those exact hotels :)

If noise sensitive to you guys and you'd prefer to sleep in different rooms him/you then the holiday villages and tui blue also have rooms where you have a bedroom seperate to where the child is sleeping which works really well for us.

We have just come back from Royal Son Bou in Menorca with DS1 (ASD, learning disabled and health needs) and DS2 (undiagnosed ASD). We went with Jet 2 who were amazing and flew from Leeds Bradford will full support fast-tracking us through the airport and into the lounge (we paid extra for the lounge). We had private transfers to the resort - about 30 mins. The resort itself has also been brilliant. They offer personalised menu if needed and a dedicated what’s app channel where you can say what food you want for the meals. It hasn’t been too busy, but we went outside of school holidays and it was starting to get busy as we left. Happy to give more info if you want it!

I was just scanning to see if anyone had suggested this - we have had great success with cruises from Southampton too for DD8 - about to go on our fourth in a couple of weeks.

Hello, apologies I don’t know how to reply, I haven’t used Mumsnet for so long, so have hit ‘quote’ and hope that’s how you do it?
We are in the very same boat, but a few years ahead, and try the very same. This is why I felt compelled to answer, so I do hope I can be of some help.
Sadly we had terrible experiences in France twice - including being very openly mocked for headphones, laughed at, stared at, even cars slowing, and a crowd gathering as we stopped at a service area to go to the loo. It was so traumatic and has haunted us since.
We were asked to leave bakeries in The Netherlands (near the Belgian border region, Slaois or similar spelling) and Belgium. Similarly we were unwelcome in The Cotswolds and Manchester City Centre.
We have found the ppl of Birmingham to be the best and most warm and inclusive in the UK. We also live in the same area as you.

Worldwide, we have had the best (by far) responses in the USA, most especially many areas of California (Los Angeles is absolutely incredible, and not at all what we expected) and Washington State. We have now visited several US States with two autistic children, and can recommend many, and advise against some too (New Mexico especially). But all in all, it has become our safe and nurturing growth zone.
The other country we had positive experiences in was Italy - we visited the Puglia region, Naples, and Sicily, all three were lovely, particularly Sicily, but the other two were good too. We stayed at a fantastic AirBnb in Sicily with a very kind host. Just get in touch if you need any tips or ideas about any of the above.
Wishing you warm adventures ahead.

Has anyone got a child at the more severe end and is non-verbal (probably SLD). I feel like we will never go abroad again due to flights/ferries being an issue. The last SC holiday in UK wasn't sure complete disaster but I don't think he enjoyed it much either.

How do you handle flights/ferries? I think we'd need to sedate my son as he refuses to sit down and has no understanding. Has anyone had to ask the doctor for this?

I have also heard France is a no go for children with SEN, which is a shame as easy to get to for us and I love our last trip before we had our son.

Hi, my daughter is non verbal and I've taken her abroad 3 times so far. Going on the longest flight so far in 2 weeks to Tenerife. She doesn't need sedation to fly, she really loves it. I have plenty of snacks, little toys and videos downloaded for her. I also pay extra for either bulkhead or extra leg room to give her a bit more freedom. I use picture cards to communicate what we are doing, and repeat simple phrases a lot. The trickiest part of the holiday is preventing her from running too deep in the ocean on beach days, and usually the first day she is a bit disoriented with the change.
I've also discovered that sit down restaurants and self catering is much easier than buffets.
Happy to chat more about this, but hopefully this gives you an idea of what you can expect.