Husband taking our son abroad

[H930]

I posted about this in Parenting, but think I might get more traffic/knowledge here!

My husband is taking our four year old son to Belgium on the Eurostar this weekend. Just two days and one night, I’m staying home with our baby.

Do I need to somehow explicitly give permission for him to take our son? Will he run into problems at the border? We are married and all of us have the same surname, my husband has PR and is my son’s biological father.

Should I write a letter for him to take? Should they take along birth certificate/marriage certificate? Or is this only an issue where parents are separated/divorced or where children have a different surname?

Officially yes, he needs permission from you as the other parent with PR. Details here: https://www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

I think it is quite likely that he won't be asked for evidence of PR due to the same surname, but I think more recently more people are being stopped - this is my impression from Mumsnet anyway.

It doesn't do any harm for him to take a copy of the birth certificate as well as a letter from you.

DH takes DS away without me every year. He’s never been asked for anything.

I've travelled with dd on multiple occasions without DH. Same surname. Never been asked for anything.

I have travelled with a baby with different surname. Nobody has asked anything.

As above.

Yes, you need to give consent.

A lone male travelling with a child is far more likely to be asked to prove his relationship to the child and that the other parent has given consent.

Think of it as customs checks-. Not everyone is stopped and asked to show they have no contraband. That doesn't mean we don't know that we're not supposed to try and bring it in/take it out of the country.

Surnames are largely irrelevant.

It's a child being taken out of the country clearly not by both of the parents.

It is easy just to do a short letter and make sure you are available on the phone if they want to speak to you. IME it is coming back in that is often when people get stopped. At least your 4 year old can say who daddy is if asked.

It is coming back because there's no border control on exit in the UK. To be stopped going out, there'd have to be something flagged up on the API or at check in, so unlikely.

@H930 make sure you check the requirements of the other country as well. Some countries insist on a notarised consent letter. (though afaik nowhere in Europe)

Surname and marital status are irrelevant.

i went on a sports trip recently. Two of the mums had thought they didn’t need documentation as they were married and had the same surname.

they were stopped and not allowed through security until they could demonstrate they had permission from the child’s father to leave the country. They very nearly missed the flight.

parents having different names to kids is the norm in many cultures. People aren’t stopped for that reason, and there’s no way to tell marital status from your travel documents.

I've been away alone with 4yo DS many times before, and no one has ever said anything. One guy at Passport Control asked him once "where's your mummy?" and then 3yo DS looked a bit confused, started laughing and then pointed at me hahah - thank fuck for that pheeewww.... LOL

I've flown with DTs for years without DH, and vice versa. It is never been an issue.

I go to Belgium a lot as my eldest daughter lives there. I am divorced from my exhusband and kept my married name, I was stopped with our children and grilled last summer, I’m not sure what was different that time to any other. Anyway, my exhusband has gave me a letter to take with me any time I’ve took the children since but I’ve never been asked again.

I've been stopped and the kids 'chatted to' by border police taking them out of the Netherlands on my own before. I've done this countless times when they were young and was only stopped once. Not asked for any paperwork but they were obviously checking with the kids that I was mum. Different name on their passports to mine. All was fine but it was a little unnerving.

Personally I would say it wouldn't do any harm to have a letter from your husband and maybe copies of birth/marriage certs. Doesn't take up much room.

I was questioned when travelling back from Germany with dd a few years ago, not when leaving the UK, both of us travelling with German passports. A year later I was travelling with both dc and had letters for them but this time they just waved us through at passport control in both directions.

Thanks so much everyone. Super helpful. I will write a letter and DH will take birth and marriage certificates too, just in case!