Husband never wants to go on holiday!

[LaraS2511]

I love travelling, I want to see as many places before I leave this earth but my husband has zero enthusiasm for any kind of holiday or break, if it was up to him he would be at work 52 weeks a year. We have been on holidays since we have been together & this has continued since we had children but it’s always me pushing it, finding the places, booking, working out travel details, reading the reviews etc. He enjoys it when he is there though! I asked him about going away in June for one week when my daughter finishes her a level exams & he said I should go with my daughter & he would be happy to stay at home with our son. I’m just so pissed off, he just has no interest, I understand I get annual leave from my job & it’s generous where as he doesn’t, he runs a business but he has people happy to run it whilst he is away. I probably will go with my daughter & I have done this before twice but I’m getting more & more fed up with him!

Its true not everyone likes holidays especially given the cost. You could instead try day trips, or one night stays somewhere just to have a change of scenery.

I don't like holidays much now. I'm sure if we had money to burn and could afford business class travel, etc then I would, but I find them overpriced, full of other people and generally the accommodation is not as nice as being in my own bed. DH and I have separate rooms at home, because he snores and I sleep badly, so having to cram together in a small double bed in an overheated room (often with a noisy air conditioning unit) is not ideal. I find I never sleep well when away.

I like the heat - but don't like flying, and really dislike airports. In addition, because the nearest one is several hours drive from here then I find the journey home, in particular, exhausting. You leave your hotel generally at an inconvenient time, have an hour drive or so in a coach to a hot airport. Hang around for a couple of hours at least. Have a 4 hour flight home. Have an hour wait for baggage/passport control. Find your car. Have another 4 hour drive home. Arrive home knackered, fed up and in need of a break.

I'm at the point of only wanting to holiday in the UK and not too far a drive.

God people choose some crap holidays!

@CanadianJohn Might I recommend you travel to just about anywhere in Africa. Try a bit of camping! Be aware of people who don’t have what you have and need your $. You won’t be envious then. Just because you’ve spent money on your house, you don’t have to live in it like a hermit. Embrace widening your world.

I live for holidays, I can't believe how many people are saying they don't enjoy them! I like home too, but wandering around Angkor Watt or Petra or the Colosseum beats being at home any day of the week for me. My husband is also a keen traveller, but I do do all the planning, he never organises anything. Although he will study up on the destination a few days before we go. He always knows all about the Uber pick-up points at the airport and how often the trains run etc, he just won't give it any thought months in advance. I feel your pain there. If your husband enjoys it when he's there, then I would just accept the organising falls on you and simply tell him what you've planned and that he's coming. Otherwise it seems you need to find an alternative enthusiastic travel companion.

Ditto. Thankfully I love planning and researching holidays and he just has to pay, pack and be ready the day before! He always acknowledges that he needed it; just can't see it beforehand.

I think it’s a huge shame when people cannot appreciate what else there is to see in the rest of the world. I don’t think my DH thought about it much before we met but has embraced holidays ever since but mostly I plan. As a result we have mixed up where we go and what we do. I believe I have seen some of the best beaches in the world so we don’t sit on a beach these days. So much more to see and do.

He ran a medium sized consultancy and holidays, where he thought about something completely dfifferent, did matter. We don’t resent spending the money and can go business class now. We don’t for short hall, but long haul, it’s a joy.

My DD has holidayed as a single with a group of singles. Various friends have done the same. All women! We have met various singles on holidays down the years. All have been welcomed but they are small group holidays.

My house remains mostly unmodernised as when we have the money it always goes on holidays rather than new wallpaper or whatever for the home .

DH used to be a major holiday plan but he had less incentive once we moved as he loves our current house so much 😀

I love my house. It's amazing. I can't believe it's mine. It's more than I ever could have dreamed for. But even if I lived in Buckingham Palace I can't imagine loving a house so much that I wouldn't want to leave the bloody thing! For one thing, my house doesn't have a constant stream of sunshine, sadly. And it's in England

@wpalfhal We don’t go for sunshine. We’ve been to see other places and experience different things in the world. If the sun is out, great, but I’m not keen on 30 degree heat. The same experience at 20 degrees suits me! I like my house too. It’s got a pool and big gardens but just sitting around at home doesn’t fulfill me. Seeing other places is a constant source of wonder.

@TizerorFizz completely agree, we go to see new things too. Thankfully most of them come with better weather than the UK, not that that is difficult.

I know a few people who have partners like this. It's easier to accept it and build a network of people who will travel with you. You can enjoy it without him.

Go without him some people just genuinely don’t like holidays

I think if you know he always enjoys it when he's there then I'd just book them and force his hand 😂

I'm sure once he's there and enjoying it that any initial annoyance will quickly fade.

I’m completely obsessed with holidays. I’m a SAHM so I really look forward to the break, change in routine and quality family time. The kids absolutely love it and I love the sunshine.

We’ve become wealthy in the last 4 years, so for the first time ever the world is our oyster and I’m desperate to go to all the places that were previously out of our reach. I think it’s important not to put things off because tomorrow is never guaranteed; I want to bank the experiences while we are healthy and able.

We’re currently in the baby years and growing our family, so every year I’m either pregnant or have a newborn 😂 so I have to plan our holidays around that too.

My DH is self employed and a complete workaholic, so it’s a real battle getting him to agree to holidays, especially as all of his excuses are invalid e.g. lack of money or time. The reality is that whilst he enjoys the holidays themselves, he finds it stressful travelling and being away from home. But, he also doesn’t want me to go without him because he doesn’t want to miss out 😂 I’ve told him he can’t have it both ways!

I don't know why so many men are like this! Every ex I have had seems to actively hate travelling. They have no desire to see anywhere or learn about other cultures...it's very insular. I personally wanted DC to travel because I saw with Brexit a lot of people who had never left the country thinking UK was "better" than a lot of others. Frankly we are not and I wanted DC to recognise the whole world is full of options and different ideas on what makes people happy.

Go alone, you only get one life.

Go on your own.
If you don’t like travel on your own and expect a partner to accompany you then it’s a compatibility issue.

Think of being stuck with him when your kids have left home ! He sounds quite dull ! But each to their own I suppose. If being at work is what he wants, so be it but marriage is supposed to be a partnership with shared interests at least some of the time.

This. Why is that? Seems to be mostly women who want to live life, be it holidays, day trips, trying new restaurants and gigs etc. going for a simple walk.

I wonder if men are more likely to be working full time so don't see as much of their house and find it more restful to have a week off at home. On most holidays people aren't learning much about other cultures, alternately if the holiday is non stop sightseeing some people find that stressful. Holidays with small children can be more stressful than being at work, although I think holidays are good for the children and person doing most of the childcare. When my son was small they weren't particularly restful though.
I like going away on holiday but I also like having a week off work when I don't have to go anywhere and get up at a certain time.

At least he doesn't moan or try and stop you from travelling.
I think this gives you the freedom to travel as you like, where you like, and that's pretty cool.
I think you have to reframe this in your mind as you finding more travel buddies (friends etc.) or joining group travel or just travelling in your own. This could be exciting for you!

I’m on holiday at the moment (Barbados) and enjoying myself but I find holidays really hard work - the planning, the travelling, the being away from home. I don’t like airports much and flying is bloody awful. If it was down to me we’d probably never go away, or at least we’d stay in the UK. Thankfully DH loves it and takes complete control and enjoys it all… he’s accepted that if he wants holidays then he has to make it happen.

Maybe you should try the same tactic? Give him a few options of places and times and then book one of them and present it as a done deal.

I think it is just a case of accepting that one person's dream holiday to another person may seem like hell. Don't like travelling, sleeping in unfamiliar beds, the heat, the food etc etc.
If that is the case, just find a travel buddy and enjoy the holiday without the reluctant partner moping around being a wet blanket.

Neither of us like holidays and it has been great, no-one trying to impose their choices on the other or putting up with something just to keep the peace.

OP you need to put "Porn" in the title so we get some male opinions on why men don't seem to like travelling 😉

My DH is the same.. i have to plan and sort all the dates nights, days out and holidays.. he never refuses to go though and usually enjoys it once we get there. If anything, it's our kids that complain about going away!

I'm afraid I have no advice but you are definitely not alone.

I don’t quite understand why people choose destinations that don’t suit them. When I went to Barbados I just picked a holiday company who booked the flight and I chose the hotel from their options and we got transport to the hotel.Hardly a trip through South America so minimal planning involved.

Now I want a more varied experience but I still don’t do everything. Many holiday companies can put together something for you. We don’t do hot any more. We like exploring in a comfortable heat. Maybe men prefer different types of holiday?