Flight with headstrong 22 month old - help!

[itsnotyouitsmee]

I know this topic is done to death but we are flying to Gran Canaria with our headstrong 22 month old next month and I’m starting to panic slightly.

His big sister has always been easy to handle/distract/placate on planes but he is a completely different beast 🥴

We’re going to load up an iPad with his favourite cartoons, take a bag full of snacks, but does anyone have any other specific recommendations for handling a strong-willed 22 month old, that is going through a throwing phase (which makes me think I should leave his toy cars at home!) and doesn’t really take no for an answer?!

Book seats A and C or D and F at the back and hope you get the middle one free for the toddler. If you dont swap with B/E.
If there are spares in other nearby rows do ask if they mind swapping... we were too british about it when we didnt manage to get a spare seat but the lovely canarian ladies in front insisted we swap on one return flight we took.

Tell the airline staff you are nervous. When we went with DD and they were all so lovely! The nicest was ryanair staff they gave me free fizz and chocolate which i was STUNNED by.

Change nappy before flight and try and ensure they have pooped (easier said than done)

Cheerios are THE snack to have - lots of co-ord needed to eat.
Agree with water and "juice!" For take off and landing.

I personally find boarding LAST the best strategy. Let them do loads of running about before boarding.

minimise hand luggage. If you have a tonne of hand luggage... one of you go on with the hard cases other one supervises toddler then boards late.

Once you get there i found the canary islands in particular mega child friendly and going out to restaurants was a breeze. Even young male Wait staff ie blokes in their early 20s were sooooo nice and sweet with all the kids (we met up with a few friends) etc
Depressingly it really underscored to me just HOW MUCH brits hate kids.

I would just pay for a seat for the toddler. Airline companies have shaved profit margins so much, that they cannot afford to let half empty flights take off unless completely unavoidable. Most of the time, they cancel them and rebook people on the next flight so that planes are full when they go. It is very rare to have spare seats these days.

We flew with DS1 at almost exactly the same age. Unfortunately someone in our group had to drop out last minute so there was a spare seat. It was absolutely invaluable and something I would definitely pay for now in the same circumstances. I would recommend.

Walk laps of the airport, get on the plane last and try and minimise hand luggage (i had a fit over the hand luggage not v active DD!).

Wrap some tactile things up in wrapping paper - small fidget toy, reusable stickers, snacks, water writing pad. DD got as much enjoyment out of unwrapping as the toys themselves.

Try and make it so they nap but dont bank on it - super early morning if its a midday flight and exhaust them in the airport. Limit sugar before and on the flight.

Fully charged device and headphones, and limit screens before the flight.

It will be fine - dont listen to the people saying dont fly. Kids always have a way of surprising you!

One thing that did help was watching videos of children getting flights and explaining what to expect helped, she understood she had to stay in her chair/on a lap.

I promise it'll be fine - drop your expectations, have a game plan with hubby for if it goes pete tong, have an adult juice on the plane for your own nerves and go with it. They know when we're stressed so channel you're inner zen and get them excited about the flight and what to do on it as much as the holiday.

We've done short haul and long haul with DD and she has surpassed my very low expectations each time xx

I’m going to contact the airline today about the spare seat :) Thanks all.

I’ve also planned lots and lots of activities to do with him to try and distract him - my husband thinks I’m going quite mad with pill boxes and craft pom poms/pipe cleaners!

I also found this ‘road tape’ in a shop yesterday which I’m going to stick all round the tray table and armrests so he can run his toy cars round and round to his hearts content (don’t worry I’ve checked and it easily peels off - I’m not going to vandalise the plane 🤣)

Lots of people suggesting sweets for take-off and landing. If like my toddler (and his brother before him) this would have been more trouble than it's worth, my top-tip is always to bring either fruit or yoghurt pouches that you can give them to suck on at the right time.

Definitely lots of small new bits and bobs. And I-spy is always a hit for us - just use a colour instead of a letter at that age.

Have a lovely holiday

I read on another thread that toy cars are a bad idea for a flight because they roll away when thrown and are difficult to retrieve.

I agree with pp that perhaps you could save the cars for when you reach your destination.

Also on the same thread was the advice to not use play dough on the plane because of the mess.

If I was a passenger on that flight I would only request that you ensure that your DS doesn't kick the seat in front. There is nothing more rage inducing than being in a seat in front of a seat kicker. Remove his shoes if necessary.

Good luck.

Fuzzy felt is great for flights at that age, dd also liked the magnet versions. Most people are pretty understanding in reality and he may well be distracted by the excitement of just being on a plane too, which will help. It will be worth it for the holiday anyway!

He has some soft toy cars that I have in mind for the plane which I know he’ll be happy to push around the track, and I’ve got the triangular crayons to stop them rolling around too!

I would never let him, or my older daughter, kick the seat in front, or pull on the headrest etc. Although as I previously posted there are adults who could do with reminding of this basic etiquette too so I feel like kids get an unfair rap 🤣

I agree cars are a bad idea - easily get away and can be quite noisy. Would also avoid allowing bashing on the tray table as that can be really irritating to the people in front. Avoid any toys that are too little as you will have a job finding them!

another big bear is a device with no headphones. No one else wants to hear it!

and if you walk up and down with him just make sure he doesn’t try and touch peoples stuff. If you are lucky you may come across other passengers who want to interact with him but don’t expect it

wrapping up new little toys is a good one. Maybe little characters from his favourite cartoon? Getting him to kneel/stand in the footwell and use his seat as a play surface can also be good

also agree that tag teaming with your DH is a good idea. You say you have an older child? Perhaps get headphone splitters so they can both watch the same thing. I always found my older child had a calming effect on the younger. Are there any activities they do together or you could encourage - like sticker books?

he will cry at some point no doubt - don’t stress about it. Normal toddler behaviour is fine as long as you are dealing with it.

good luck! I’m sure it will all be fine in the end!

Headphones, snacks, iPad, zip lock bags with cars or similar. Colouring, book to read to him. I traveled with mine every 4 months from birth long haul and it's fine, I think the sound of the engines makes them calmer, like white noise. The key thing is arrive at the airport with time to let him rub off steam, don't be tempted to use the pushchair at the airport whatever the practicality

Headphone splitters are a great shout as he loves to see what his sister is watching. She might not be as appreciative though 🤣 I’m going to make sure he’s used to wearing headphones before we leave as I agree I hate hearing devices blasting out!

I’m going to try avoid walking up and down the aisle if entirely possible, as like with his pushchair, once he’s out of confinement he’s hard to get back in and that’s when the frustration kicks in!

I’ve got some sticker books and a Water Wow book that came recommended. I’m also going to wrap them all up like people have suggested and will pack a plastic bag for all the rubbish! I think I’m anxious as developmentally he’s probably more like an 18 month old, his speech isn’t great which is why he gets frustrated, it’s not because he is badly behaved! I think I need to just lower my expectations and know I’m trying my best!

Ps I always took car seats onboard once mobile, just like in the car, you stay still! Not so easy now as many are too big for planes (planes need forward facing seats with straps, mine were graco)

I really like this option not so much for containment, because if they’re in a window seat next to you there’s nowhere to go anyway but because it means they can nap with head support without lolling on top of you. Absolute game changer for long flights in economy! Also, for the European airlines it means they can sit in their own seat the whole time without having to go onto your lap when the seatbelt sign is on which is nice too.

Unfortunately there are no airline approved toddler seats currently on sale in the UK so it’s not going to be an option for OP unless she has the ability to source an American seat from somewhere.

Oh and one more thing OP- if the flight has in flight wifi, not all do but it’s becoming increasingly common, you can buy it for like £10 and let him watch YouTube Kids. It’s utter brain rotting dross that I’d never let them watch otherwise but it has this weird, actually quite creepy ability, to send toddlers into a trance like state. Very handy for flights and a lot safer than getting out the Benadryl 🤣

Don't forget it will end!
My DD screamed the whole way from here to Ireland once. I was not popular!
However remember to smile sweetly and apologise to anyone who gives you evils.
The last flight we went on was full of kids virtually rioting, not an apology in sight.

@InTheRainOnATrain not going to lie - Piriton has crossed my mind 🤣 he does take it now and then for allergies!

@chickenpieandchips we are travelling in school holidays so I’m hoping the flights are full of rowdy kids 🤣

When my kids were little we had medised. But it either made them drowsy or hyper so had to know which way it would go.
However it was pulled off the market as people realised parents were using it for the 'sed' part rather than the paracetamol part and getting the dosing wrong!
Other rule is there are no rules on flights! Forget dummy time, iPad time, snack rations! Anything goes as long as doesn't impact others.

I've never had the back of my seat kicked for an entire flight by an adult, drunk or otherwise. Nor have I ever had anything thrown at me by an adult on a flight, again drunk or otherwise.

In fact, I've never really had issues with drunk adults on a flight - maybe that's a product of where I tend to fly to though.

I have however complained about children with tablets blasting at full volume, throwing things and kicking the back of my seat. I don't consider that as being intolerant of children, more that I expect the parents to make better efforts to control their children and expect them to behave appropriately on a flight.

OP I appreciate that you feel that taking a flight like this is the best thing for your family. Just be aware that people who may complain about kicking/throwing/loud tablets are not unreasonable for being unhappy about this. I would never complain about a distressed child crying - that's different.

@margotsdevil congratulations on never having encountered rude adults on your flights, but they do exist, even on the flights to the upmarket places you clearly fly to 🙄

And I would have thought it was apparent from my posts that I wouldn’t tolerate my children behaving like you have described, whether it be on flights or any public setting. If you’ve read my posts I’ve said I have headphones for both children, would never allow them to kick the seats in front of them etc. I doubt the sort of people that let their children do the above are posting for advice on forums such as this.

OP if I saw you on the plane with your headphones and toys and water books and snacks I would feel nothing but sympathy and admiration for you, plus a little bit of relief that my time in the toddler trenches is done. Though I bet your little boy is so cute with his toy cars, it would take me right back to mine.

I have encountered loads of adults who think nothing of blasting out tinny videos from their phones all over the place and it's way more antisocial and irritating than little kids behaving like little kids. Enjoy your holiday!

Funny you should say that but my mum actually said can’t you get any Phenergan (which is what I think Medised is?!)

I feel like I’m making him out to be a terror - he’s just a very normal toddler who isn’t easily as coerced as his sister was/is so I’m just trying to be as prepared as I can, for my sake and for other passengers. Some of the comments on here seem to forget children are as much part of society as anyone else! This will be the fourth time he has flown (one of them being long haul) but the last time was just before he started to walk so he wasn’t as mobile!

Thank you for your kind words 💐

If I saw you on the plane with your headphones and toys and water books and snacks I would feel nothing but sympathy and admiration for you, plus a little bit of relief that my time in the toddler trenches is done.

I agree with @NowImInExile.

Any reasonable person would agree. I think the issues arise when the parent ignores a restless small child and makes no effort to placate them or stop them from annoying the other passengers.

I have been fortunate enough to not encounter drunken adults on flights, but I think that is down to luck more than anything else.

My kids were fine on flights, probably more luck than any superior parenting on my behalf.
These days I enjoy a gin and tonic and am happy to play peek a boo with little kids if they catch my eye.

There's nothing worse than those on flights trying to make a stressed parent more stressed.

The combination of excitement, tiredness and boredom, OP it sounds like you're doing everything just right. Enjoy your well earned holiday.