18h flight solo with baby and toddler, yay or nay?

[Mnk711]

Not sure if this should be in parenting or holidays but, am currently considering an 18h plane journey alone with a baby and toddler and wondering if this is feasible. For those who say I'm mad, quite possibly yes but I took my 15 month old to India in summer during a heatwave, again flying alone, and that went OK 😅except for when our return flight was delayed 3h and she was desperate for milk but I couldn't breast feed her in public at the gate so she screamed for hours.

Any tips from seasoned two child solo travellers? I think there are no direct flights so I'd also have to change planes but might be possible to get my holiday buddy to meet us in the airport to do the local flight together.

I’ve done 9 hours solo with baby and toddler and really wouldn’t recommend it!

I flew BA and they couldn’t have been less helpful. I certainly didn’t get anyone holding the baby or watching the toddler! They frequently bought us meals last, forgot about the drink I’d ordered whilst I was bf etc…

They also didn’t bring the buggy to the plane as they were supposed to which made it near to impossible to navigate the airport. My husband was worried because it took me almost 2.5hours to get to the pick up point because I was having to walk so slowly to move luggage and toddler and hold the baby. All the while they were both screaming….. not fun!

I wouldn’t advise doing it unless someone was dying.

My top tip if you absolutely have to do it would be to buy a aeroplane harness for the toddler so you can strap them in if you need to do something with the baby. Realistically I had to change a screaming baby whilst poking my head out to check on the toddler because we wouldn’t all fit in the loo. Toddler was too young (Less than 2) to take directions.

I booked assistance, none of these things happened. Just beware!

Thanks all for the advice, very mixed bag as I expected as my experience of managing the two kids alone is if they are on form it's pretty smooth, if they aren't it's hell on earth, so imagine travelling is much the same. Will look up assistance and also the rules for each airline, hadn't thought of either of these. The baby is 9 months and can go in the sling fine, is a reasonable sleeper, and is generally easy going so I'm not too worried about him. My main worry is my toddler who is very strong-willed. Perhaps I can book us on a night flight so hopefully they both sleep (I can never sleep on planes anyway so not worried about that for myself).

@Opine @StSwithinsDay it's not culturally acceptable to breast feed in public in India. I did feed her, I didn't just leave her starving. She had solid food and then I took her to the loos to breast feed her. But as she feeds to sleep she wanted to breast feed in the seats where we were waiting at the gate so she could sleep. Once we got on the plane there was no one sitting next to us so I just stuck a coat over us and fed her to sleep there. Whilst she was crying and overtired she was okay- I was cuddling her and she was safe. There wasn't anything else I could have done.

I would avoid it if at all possible.

I travelled a lot long haul on my own with one child and it was doable, though tiring.

Hot tip: I found people to be really friendly and kind with babies on Asian airlines (offering to hold the baby, playing with the baby - this includes young men as well as older women).

The contrast to 'other' airlines where sometimes people looked at me like I was ruining their lives was quite notable.

BUT travelling long haul (three flights, it was about 45 hours) with two adults and a toddler and baby nearly broke me. This was a family emergency during pandemic situation. About 8 people on the whole plane. Airports mostly shut down and no airport hotels.

The toddler COULD NOT work out how to sleep on the plane and absolutely lost it in a way I had never seen before and may never see again. Screaming, punching, kicking. It went on for - I hate to think about it - possibly hours.

The baby woke about 8 times a night on a usual night, and we had to her out of the bassinet, sleeping, any time there was turbulence, in addition.

I acknowledge this was an unusual situation, but what would you do if your toddler couldn't sleep the whole time, for instance, and your baby woke up 8 times? You'd survive but it would be unbelievably bad, and definitely not worth it for a holiday.

At nine months would the baby fit in a bassinet? Do you really want to sit with a baby on your knee for 18 hours?

Definitely not unless it was to attend a wedding or funeral of a close family member, or to be at the bedside of a dying family member (but in all those situations, my first choice would be to go on my own and leave the children with their Dad or grandparents).

I flew 11 hours with a one year-old who didn’t want to sleep or sit still and that was hellish. I wouldn’t do 15 hours with one, let alone two.

And that baby may well be another toddler by 9 months..

I did it once and will never do it again.

We went Air France and the 'sky cot' was a cot hanging from the roof, not one of these nice bassinets up front that I had on a previous flight. So even if you do decide, do not go AF! My eldest vomited all the way through the flight for some unknown reason (it wasn't his first flight either) and my youngest battled with her ears for most of it too. I just felt sorry for all those people around me as there was just not a thing I could do. Airline staff were pretty good at helping me, but it is never something that I would ever consider doing again.

And mine was only a 12 hour flight!

They were 3yrs and 7 months at the time.

Oh, and I never ate or drank a thing the whole time as I wasn't able to put dd in the 'sky cot" and I couldn't pull the tray down with her on my lap. One of the airline staff did take her for me a few times when I had to take ds to the loo.

Ive just watched a video of DS2 at 9 months. Hahahaha - No way!

I flew from Perth Western Australia with dds aged 13 months and not quite 3yo on my own. I bought an extra seat for dd2 so we had room to stretch out. We stopped off at Singapore.

I did 32 hours straight and four flights solo (London / Singapore / Melbourne / Auckland / Christchurch ) and it was fine with a baby and toddler. Couple of low points. But only possible as dc2 was exclusively breastfed so needed no food or drink at all for them, and in a sling.

I flew economy but was a gold frequent flier so I could use all the lounges and the lounge staff escorted me to the gate helping with dc1. On arrival in Nz a fellow passenger (a complete stranger) pushed my luggage trolley through the bio security queue and onto the screening conveyer (if you know you know what a pain this is at the end of a long flight).

All in all I got lucky! I would not do it with a bottle fed baby.

Thanks all - I think my son (baby) could go in the bassinette or the baby seat thing that they do for older kids. My daughter fitted in that at 15 months. In terms of lack of food, I often have to go without food anyway for chunks of time when home alone with the kids so am adept at shovelling snacks or whatever is feasible with one hand. I can bring some easy access stuff with me.

If toddler won't sleep then I will admit we are fucked. But I quite often end up with them both sleeping in bed with me when ill one either side of me, having screamed their heads off, so hopefully even if they just pass out on me they'd get a bit of sleep. The real question is what if I get there and the journey is hell and then I have to fly back, the anticipation of that will be horrendous 😅

I am also definitely worried about jet lag, though when I took my daughter to India she actually adjusted very quickly. If they were bad with the jet lag though I can see it being a miserable experience.

I'm still considering it though, must be mad.

Yeah, I wouldn't be in a rush to do this, but appreciate that if you want to visit family sometimes you can't both fly together both ways if you want to go for longer. IME small DC do tend to sleep on flights. Toddler can lie on his seat with his head on your lap and baby can go in the bassinet, so it might actually be okay, it just probably won't be much fun (and I wouldn't want to do it!).

Gives me nightmares reading this.
any flight that’s been overnight has had crying unsettled babies on it. It’s just hideous for those around you.

it may be an unpopular opinion but It’s just grim for everyone else.

I’ve had 3 kids and never flew long haul with any of them until they were A bit older.

You know someone at the other end, right? It gives me proper terrors to imagine being abroad with kids alone then getting ill or knocked down or something.

If it's a trip for fun, I can't see what could possibly be fun enough to merit that long a journey. Not really in the kids' interests, it's just that you fancy a jolly? If it was last chance to see a dying parent or something then maybe. Just for fun - sorry, with small kids you end up in Wales in the rain, that's life.

I wouldn't. It's also really not fair on the rest of the passengers if it goes badly.

You couldn't breastfeed at the gate? Even with discreet clothing? That's shocking!

It imagine it would depend on your baby and toddler. Our DC1 was a complete nightmare as a toddler and young child and would have screamed and kicked off for the entire journey. He couldn’t cope with sitting still for any length of time - I could imagine the other passengers would have understandably lost their patience with us big time. DC2 & 3 were very easy going and it would have been doable with them.

@NoCloudsAllowed we already live in Wales in the rain so no need to travel for that one!

Re other passengers I've been the person surrounded by screaming children/kids kicking seats/crying babies and I get that it's unpleasant but I don't think anyone has any more right to a plane journey than anyone else so I don't think it's wrong to take children on a long haul flight just because. In fact i know someone who had a row in first class because her twin babies were also booked in first and the other passenger didnt agree that was acceptable, despite her paying for their seats too. The fact is being jammed in a metal tube with others means you just have to be a bit more tolerant; whilst I'd absolutely do what I could to keep kids quiet I wouldn't not take them because it might annoy others

the comment about what's best for the kids I agree is worth thinking about, how will they find it. I think baby wouldn't notice and toddler would enjoy it.

It would be outing to say why we'd be travelling but it's for a combination of reasons. It would be sad not to go but I still don't know whether to go through with it.

In all honesty love it sounds like hell on earth but you sound like you’re a pretty experienced traveller and also realistic.
Only you know your kids and what their/your limits are.

To those saying why did you leave your baby to starve 🙄 read it properly or stop showing your ignorance about other cultures!!