Uncomfortable spending money on holiday

[sippysue]

Dh and I are fortunate enough to have good jobs and incomes. For our age we earn well. Dh has good savings (house deposit amount) but I don’t have much after spending them all on a masters degree (have no more than a few months living costs).

I give this detail because I think it is why I am uncomfortable letting my hair down and spending money whilst on holiday. We are in an expensive but bucket list destination. Doing a tour for £80 each or spending £60 a head on a special dinner is hard going. I feel I shouldn’t spend the money even though I can afford it.

Do you know what I mean? It’s like I have one voice saying “enjoy yourself” and another saying “save!”

Those are such small normal amounts for any holiday

Just go for it

Get DH to pay though

Ask your dh to pay.
My dh wouldn't think twice about paying for us both.

I must be on the frugal side too OP because that would make me wince too :D rare treats, I guess! Made up for by occasionally eating breakfast/lunch bought in a supermarket....

Does your DH expect you to pay for yourself?

Yes dh and I split everything. I earn ever so slightly more than him.

You should split in half. Nothing wrong with that. If it is just once or twice a year, why not enjoy yourselves. I understand the money saver type of person, it is hard to change your type even if you have lots of money. They say wealthy people are often conservative with money and have a long term mindset.

It's a balance. I am terrible at saving, I don't have a massive pot of savings, I have a tendency to side on "live for the moment, life is short", largely due to the fact I am young and healthy now, with children now, I don't want to spend what is essentially the healthiest and most expensive (dependents) part of my life squirrelling away money for a time I can't yet see.

The way I settle finances in my mind is to have a minimum threshold of sensibility and enjoy the rest. I try to offset my lack of (heavier handed) saving with some sensible decisions, which for me include; mortgage, excellent pensions, good insurance coverage (life, income protection etc), I have means to access money if bad things happen, I don't have debt except mortgage and one of our cars on finance, I'm careful to spend within our means, my frivolity does not extend to chucking things mindlessly on credit cards. I should have a big pot of savings, I have the means to create one but not the desire, but the above gives me a relatively comfortable set of circumstances to enjoy holidays etc.

So I guess my advice is to set your own minimum threshold, be that a minimum rainy day pot, or some of the things I've listed, and allow yourself to enjoy the rest.

Think ‘invest’.

Having paid to go on the holiday make the best of it by doing the day trips, soaking up the experience and knowledge and getting to know the local food. I.e getting the best value out of the overhead of travelling and accommodation.

You do have a responsible savings buffer in several months living costs, you have good earning power, and will soon be building savings again.

I used to have this problem quite badly. Still do to some extent, not just with holidays, but getting over it.

One thing that helped was going all-inclusive, where that's possible. It may not even be cheaper overall but you don't feel like the taps are open on your bank account every day of your holiday. Of course, it reduces your choice of restaurants etc.

Another idea is to get a debit card that is either preloaded or tied to an account like Wise where you decide how much goes in. Then transfer your holiday budget to that card and pretend that it's already spent, if that makes sense.

Talk to him about it. I think its too late now but for the sake of £80 I would enjoy yourself. Moving forward just explain you would like to save...

If this is really bucket list stuff, don't scrimp. Plenty of time to save when you get back. I don't regret a penny of all the "bucket list" stuff that I did between 20 and 53. That's when I ended up disabled and wouldn't be able to do it. Many of my friends did the whole "I'll do it when I retire" and have the money. Some died before they retired, others became too disabled or ill to do them. I have every second of those memories and don't regret a penny. They may have the money, but they regret the missed opportunities.

If you are currently on holiday in a bucket list destination and you can afford the activities, it would seem a bit odd not to do them. Especially if you may not get the opportunity again .