To go or not to go

[mrspixie1]

I’ve been planning a trip for a big birthday for about a year now. Its to NYC which is a place I have always wanted to visit. For unforeseen circumstances hubby can no longer go. I am
torn as to what to do. Should I just go alone? I’ve put in a lot of effort and booked flights and accommodation already some of which I can’t get back. The thing is I have never traveled alone before, I feel nervous and not sure I want to spend my birthday alone albeit on a dream holiday. WWYD?

I wouldn't fancy it on my own but that's just me. Couldn't you ask a friend or relative to go with you and pay for the name change on the ticket? I would go as far as offering the plane ticket for free if they will pay for the name change! You will probably have people snap your hand off

I absolutely love New York but it's not somewhere I would go alone. it's just such a busy, fast moving, full of people city, I would feel a bit lost and lonely in it. Eating out, wandering through Central Park, being out at night - maybe I'm a bit of a coward but I just wouldn't feel entirely comfortable.

Not that I wouldn't go away by myself - I probably would - but more likely to a spa hotel, or an All Inclusive in the sun, something like that.

I spent some time in New York about 10 years back. I was on a contract working in Cincinnati for a couple of months and took some time off in the middle and went to NYC.

I loved it and found it a great place to holiday alone, but that was 10 years ago and I have heard it may have changed since then - become less safe?

Thanks, I am apprehensive too just not sure when we’ll get the chance to go again. I’ve asked a friend but waiting to hear back as its not possible for me to change the passenger on the flight. So they would need to book tickets, I can’t afford to pay for them unfortunately. It seems like such a mess which I am really sad about :(

Yes - by all means, go by yourself. C'mon, New York is not as crowded/busy as central London.

I've just been to New York, I went with DD, but I definitely would go back on my own, I would do different things that she wasn't particularly bothered about, although I would be equally happy just going to different neighbourhoods and wandering around. I didn't find it that different to London to be honest, in terms of busyness et cetera. I wouldn't eat out in the evening alone probably, but then we didn't actually eat out in the evenings much the two of us, we mostly got things from Whole Foods market to eat in the evenings, but we ate out during the day in cafés, which I would definitely do alone.

You usually can change the name on the ticket but you have to pay.

I would normally be the first to say "go by yourself" anywhere, but I can understand why you're apprehensive.

Presumably the reason he can't go isn't covered by your travel insurance.

Can you tot up what you could get refunded or switch to a different date, versus what else you'd still have to spend to use what you've already booked (travel to airport, food, entertainment).

The costs that aren't refundable or exchangeable are paid now, so try not to factor those into your thinking. The question is how you want to spend money you've not yet spent, and how you want to spend your birthday.

How much of the money could you get back? Would it be enough to go away for a night or two somewhere cheaper when your DH or a friend can travel?

Do you generally like to do things on your own such as meals out, sightseeing, watching shows etc. I love to but many people don’t.

What a shame. Aren't your DH circumstances covered by travel insurance?

Can you change the dates?

Failing all else, I would go. When you're sightseeing, it doesn't matter how many of you there are. And I'm happy on my own and don't mind eating out as long as I have a book with me. But I know it's not for everyone.

Oh I'm sorry - that must be very disappointing for you .

I would look into what you can get back as cancellation or whether any of the trip can be transferred into someone else's name .

Would I go alone? If it was somewhere in the UK absolutely. To New York? I wouldn't - but that is all about me personally not wanting to take an 8 hour flight alone . A long coach or train journey in the UK I would be fine . And I imagine most people would be fine with the flight too .

Very disappointing if it was your birthday treat though .

If you can't claim on insurance I would definitely go.

An 8 hour flight on my own would be bliss. Plan your days and travel - I'm sure if you factor in your personal safety just as you would here you will be completely fine.

I would definately go!! You'd have a ball! And New York is so easy to get around you can't get lost. Iv travelled solo alot.... Asia, the states etc. Loved it

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea

Why wouldn’t you want to do an 8 hour flight in your own?

Well I'd go, but then I know NYC well, having lived and worked there. Why not book a walk with a Big Apple Greeter on your first morning, so you have a local to ask questions of about safety, areas to avoid, if it's your first time? New York is an amazing city - so many fabulous museums, shops, shows and events.

I went to New York on my own and had an amazing time, so much so I extended my trip whilst there! As long as you stay in manhattan you'll be fine safety wise. I found people to be friendly and met a few people whilst there who took me out a few of the evenings. Daytimes I spent alone but it was lovely being able to do whatever you want whenever you want! I'd say it's a perfect place to go alone as there's so much to do you won't have time to feel lonely. That being said I am an introvert so I enjoy spending time on my own.

So disappointing. We didn’t expect this to happen really.

I can only get the accommodation back and not the flights which I guess its something.

DH is saying I should go as I have wanted to do this for a long time.

Just go alone. You will be fine. Make an adventure out of it

Thank you that is really encouraging to hear. I haven’t written it off completely and to hear of someone who has actually done it is great. I already have everything planned, had even booked museums etc which can all be cancelled so fine. I don’t mind spending time alone and tbh enjoy a day out in London to myself just didn’t want to spend my birthday alone and also have never travelled alone so there is anxiety with that.

Absolutely, go yourself

And, start now researching things to do, starting with the Big Apple walk suggested upthread.

The perfect antidote to loneliness on a solo holiday is an overcrowded schedule. You don't need to do everything but ideally you would have a choice of activities for ever waking minute.

Maybe also get up early, have your main meal at lunchtime and treat yourself to tickets for evening performances.

Anything you want to do will be available in NY. Enjoy.

The thing about being on your own is that you will be much more likely to chat to random local people and hear about all sorts of things you would easily have missed if just together.

Solo travel is one of my most favourite things.

@mrspixie1
What about changing the accomodation to the types of places you might meet people to chat to.
Hostels often have private rooms but would have other single travellers too.
I visited NYC on my own - big cities work well as you don't feel like you stand out!
Have a book / kindle / phone when eating out.
Sometimes easier to eat out alone at lunchtime.
Write yourself an itinerary before you go so you always have something to go and do next.
Then be proud of each little success. Airport navigated, tick. Checked in to accomodation, tick. Nice nearby cafe found, tick. Etc etc.
I can't imagine you will regret going. Ok 2nd best to going together, but if that isn't an option go for it.

Could you celebrate your birthday before you go so being in your own on the day isn’t such a biggie or do the opposite and book yourself tea at the Plaza on the actual day or something like that? .
I think if you enjoy a day in London on your own then you’ll enjoy the trip. Booking some excursions is a good idea.

I think people are missing the point here. Many people have travelled solo to various parts of the world. I went to Thailand on my own and met up with a friend half way and we went diving together and it was wonderful. But when you are married and planned a special trip together which isn't then going to happen is different. If it's a special trip it's the equivalent of suggesting you go on your honeymoon by yourself

I wouldn't want to do any flight on my own . I really don't like flying but like my holidays so it's a means to an end . I would only be going somewhere on an 8 hour flight under duress/bribery anyway - certainly not from my own choice .

I'm quite happy with my own company - just not at 30,000 ft !