Husband hates talking about holidays

[zybz]

...and I love talking about them. I want to discuss every possible option, detail, price, pros, cons, the lot. He gets bored after 10 minutes. If I mention a trip he just groans.

He loves going on the trip, but never does the work for it. We travel very well for the amount of money we spend. If he's booking it's done in 10 minutes but we've overpaid by £500.

I know I could just book something. But then it's my fault if he doesn't like it.

Always 😎 Multiple spreadsheets.

I agree with your husband in this one. My DP drives me mad reeling off dozens of options at high speed (usually while I’m
busy trying to do something else), or scrutinising every available menu and trip adviser review.

Theres no room for surprises, or discovery, or spontaneity. It’s exhausting.

I’m generally a planner, and a tight budget-er. But I don’t want to pre-select what I’m having for my starter at the fourth restaurant that we’ll visit on the way back from the third park, next to the second beach, before we’ve even booked the flights. Pack it in.

Excel ?
my recent trip to Venice involved a 5 page excel document with equations that went across different sheets. It was a thing of beauty. And it worked really well because it told me how much money I needed to save in order to have a carefree holiday - and I came back with £100 of it.

I love holiday planning so not only is there an excel spreadsheet with costings there will also be numerous locations saved in google maps so I have numerous, researched options for food, bars etc.

And for me the planning is a big part of the buildup.
and I do allow room for us to be spontaneous - I just like to have a few ideas for places to eat that will be nice and will not be an unpleasant, expensive surprise when the bill arrives.

My DH does all the research and planning and finding of villas and flights. Once we've broadly agreed the where and when I keep out of it. However, everything else is done by me, the packing for the dc, the lists of extra things to take and the shopping prior so its pretty even in the end. I couldn't be doing with hours of discussion about it but then our holidays are fairly simple affairs, somewhere hot in Europe by the sea.

@StiffyByngsDogBartholomew Yep! I make sure it's on my phone before we leave and has multiple pages of suggested restaurants and activities sorted by location, distance from the apartment etc.

@StiffyByngsDogBartholomew I think we are holiday twins.

Luckily my DH also loves a holiday spreadsheet.

Our trip to Florence had a spreadsheet with details of every museum, church etc we were going to and when, having spent ages working out what was open on what days of the week to make the itinerary, prebooking everything, and comments on where to eat.

Wonderful holiday even if it felt like a full time job in the run up emailing places to get rare tickets on the day of release.

Have you even been on holiday if you haven't read 3 food blogs, watched a documentary series, 4 films and got some history books out of the library?

@AnnaMagnani Definitely seem to have found some of my people on this thread 😂 There's nothing more satisfying that experiencing the things you've had planned and having the day run like clockwork.

I tried trusting my husband to do the food research for one holiday and that did not end well. We ended up with a very hungry and angry child 😂

If you don't plan, when you have a limited time in a city that you are unlikely to revisit, you won't get to see what you want to see and won't get the best out of it. I don't understand people who say "oh we will just see what we want to do when we get there". On our recent trip to Venice we wouldn't have done any of the things we wanted to do if I'd done that as they were booked up weeks ahead ! Plus we would have wasted time going to places on the wrong day that were closed.

DH has never booked a holiday and won’t discuss them. I suspect he is ASD (not because of the holiday thing 🤣 but it’s one aspect of the ASD).

@StiffyByngsDogBartholomew Eugh, Italy is the WORST for randomly closing things on odd days. And very often, there are no websites with opening times available even for things which are obviously tourist attractions. This year in Sicily we were caught out three times in one day with that even with extensive planning.

@TheBirdintheCave having experienced the nightmare of Monday in Antwerp wandering around and looking at everything that was shut, the first question on any holiday plan is now 'what will we do on the Monday?'

I have also gone round Vienna, increasingly hangry, as DH failed to decide on anywhere to eat.

He now does hotels, flights, transfers, car hire/train tickets, I do itinerary and food. Works brilliantly.

Am so happy to have found others with a holiday spreadsheet!

I do overplan though then trim where appropriate. So day three for Venice had one activity I had booked, ideas for interesting foodie places in the area, an ice cream shop I wanted to visit and a few sights that particular quarter. We ended up not going into the church I wanted to visit as there was an unexpected change to opening times. I also don't mind if we find something we would rather visit or a nice looking restaurant. I'm not "wedded" to my plan and also I don't want to spend the holiday rushing from sight to sight.
my general plan is pick one main attraction for the day, a couple of additional options that look good and some food places I'd like to visit in the area. I find a good plan actually leads to a much more relaxing holiday as long as you build in time just to wander

Yes at a cost of an extra £500. You could buy a lot for that.

Op I am with you. Marry me instead! I will sit with you for hours planning the perfect trip and cross referencing on trip advisor. This is why I have the best holidays and people ask how I got such n such a deal. It's all in the research. You wouldn't buy a car without doing the research first and for me it's the same principle for holidays. Plus it's a nice conversation as it's something lovely to look forward to

@sandrapinchedmysandwich it always amazes me that hotels with crap reviews still get bookings. And reviews where they say "I wish I'd read the TA reviews before I booked", it's hardly a mystery website ! Caveat Emptor - or spend your holiday paying £220 a night to be bitten by bedbugs !

Holiday planning is my absolute favourite thing. I'm currently working on two, Japan and Spain, neither of which is actually likely to happen any time soon as we need to move house next year.

DH recently told me that he doesn't think we should go on holidays any more, as he doesn't see the point and thinks they're a waste of money.

Anyone getting a patio put in soon? Asking for a friend...

I do plan in spontaneity - I know that sounds weird.

On our honeymoon we had planned to get the train to Ferrara. Got to the station, it was 40C and the sign said rail replacement bus service. I basically sat down and went on strike.

We still joke that we 'went to Ferrara' but actually we just lazed about and had a nice day in the aircon

So I try not to overplan as there will always be stuff you discover as you go along, surprise problems or just days you can't be arsed.

@AnnaMagnani Ohhh Ferrara was the worst day of our Emilia-Romagna holiday. After a smooth journey there from Bologna we were struck with another 'random Italian closure' so we couldn't go into the castle which I'd so desperately wanted to see 😭 Then we couldn't find anywhere suitable for lunch (as I'd trusted husband with that), then it started to biblically rain so we ended up in the closest place to us which was McDonalds which we all hate 😂

The afternoon was nice though as we braved crossing the square to a desert place and sat having gelato and cocktails under cover whilst toddler napped, watching the pouring rain and marvelling that it was still 28C.

@UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername My Japan itinerary (for our third visit) is saved in my dropbox. Just need to wait for the child(ren) to be old enough to hack the 11 hour flight 😩

I do most of the planning but check with DH reg flights, dates, accommodation; not every single detail.

DH books car park and car; once the holiday is booked he borrows books on the places we are visiting and start getting ideas of what to do while there. Once there he also think of activities, places to visit and consult with me.

This works for us. But I think he will be bored if I check every detail of the booking with him overthinking and over planning everything.

I’m like you OP, my poor DH! I need validation on my perfectly planned trip. And of course there is a spreadsheet. On our last trip (theme park plus city break) I got fed up of being asked what was happening and when by teens and DH who had taken no interest prior to leaving the house. Next trip will have a typed itinerary.

Reading some responses from non-planners I will try to keep my obsessive planning to myself, they all enjoy the trips and appreciate my efforts. I suspect I am ND and this is a ‘special interest’. I also suspect DH is too, oldest DC is autistic. They are both demand avoidant and like to just be told what is happening nearer the time. DH is an excellent packer and camp cook so had his uses.

OMG your husband is my husband😂

Ahh here are my people!

I too am a spreadsheeter. I plan EVERYTHING. I research meticulously and print out a map and highlight a walking route for every day, taking in cultural spots, historical points of interest, the main attraction for the day and well-reviewed coffee shops and restaurants. I fit something in for everyone’s interests. I love it and would not be able to relax without it.

It doesn’t always work out perfectly, of course, and I’m not militant about getting everything in, it’s just a framework so we’re not wasting time or heading the wrong way. If everyone’s having a great time at one stop, I’m not going to force them on.

DH hates the planning and I really REALLY want to pour over plans and enthuse about it beforehand but I just can’t hold his interest! He’s always happy to fly by the seat of his pants though, and never complains.