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Holidays

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Original poster

How to not feel guilty about spending money on holidays?

25 replies

zamanthazones · 03/11/2023 21:43

DH and I work super long hours. We're just establishing ourselves in our careers. Need to save money for a flat and a rainy day fund. Luckily we have family who could help if we ever got really unstuck.

But I can't spend money on holidays without feeling guilty. DH is even worse than me, despite having very nice holidays growing up.

We have around £2,000-£3,000 left after rent/food/essentials between us. This is for savings and for nice things like eating out, holidays.

DH gets annoyed when I suggest we spend £800 on a week in the sun somewhere. I've always wanted to travel to South East Asia but doing so would eat up all our spare cash/money allocated for savings.

OP posts:
RunningFromInsanity · 03/11/2023 21:46

Meh I work hard and have a rather boring life (no flashy car or designer handbags), exactly so that I can go on exotic and wonderful holidays.

bellac11 · 03/11/2023 21:49

My holidays are my priority

Nothing flash mind, airbnb in this country and abroad, flight separate but I have to get away regularly, a mixture of long weekends and weeks away

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 03/11/2023 21:50

Life is short. Really short. Save some, spend some. I love going on holiday, it's really not something to feel guilty about if you can afford it and still save a bit.

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 03/11/2023 21:55

My wonderful elderly neighbours saved all their lives in order to do all the things they wanted when they retired. Sadly the husband was diagnosed with early onset dementia and they never got to enjoy that time together. I know they really wished they had enjoyed it when they could.

MermaidMummy06 · 03/11/2023 22:00

We have a separate bank account just for holidays. We auto transfer a small amount each pay & it's in our budget.

The money is specifically for holidays (account even named 'holiday') so it's ok to spend guilt free.

We travel frugally by self catering, doing cheap or free activities, and travel out of peak season.

Having that holiday each year is important to us, so we make it a priority and refuse to feel guilty. You do have to have a life!!

UsingChangeofName · 03/11/2023 23:06

We have around £2,000-£3,000 left after rent/food/essentials between us.

A month ? Every month ?
Or a year ?

Need to save money for a flat and a rainy day fund.

As a general vague idea, or as in you are actively looking, or at least have set a time scale to save £X thousand ?

As both of those make a difference, in my mind.

I love holidays - even when we were really broke, it was important to just get away, even when sleeping on friends or relatives floors for a couple of nights. But when I was saving for the deposit for my first flat, and working shifts in bars, and babysitting as well as 50 plus hours a week at my regular job, I wouldn't have wanted to spend hundreds - or thousands of that money on a holiday instead of putting it in the 'house fund'.

cocksstrideintheevening · 03/11/2023 23:13

I live for our holidays. As soon as we get back I plan the next. I don't have any other expensive habits and we can afford it.

jippy2s · 04/11/2023 09:43

Because life IS about holidays as far as I'm concerned, I felt more guilty when we couldn't do it! Like we were wasting our lives. To see somewhere new, to have 1-2 weeks off for personal satisfaction, to see those places I covet on TV.

I could happily spend every last penny I had on holidays and experiences, that's living (for me) which is what life is about, you cant take it with you as they say.

How do you want to spend your life?

TizerorFizz · 04/11/2023 09:53

I feel life is for living. A short holiday isn’t frivolous. It’s time to reset and experience new things. When dc arrive it costs more. Best to do a bit while you can.

Tailfeather · 04/11/2023 09:55

Gosh!! Don't feel guilty! Life is too short. Grab life, holiday more!

AgentProvocateur · 04/11/2023 09:57

It’s a cheerless life if all you’re doing is working long hours and saving. Life is short and the world is big.

LadyCuntington · 04/11/2023 10:06

Why work so hard if you don't spend some of it?

cardibach · 04/11/2023 10:29

jippy2s · 04/11/2023 09:43

Because life IS about holidays as far as I'm concerned, I felt more guilty when we couldn't do it! Like we were wasting our lives. To see somewhere new, to have 1-2 weeks off for personal satisfaction, to see those places I covet on TV.

I could happily spend every last penny I had on holidays and experiences, that's living (for me) which is what life is about, you cant take it with you as they say.

How do you want to spend your life?

I could have written this. I basically work so I'll have enough money to travel/get away.

hellohellothere · 04/11/2023 11:00

Life is so short and not everyone gets to live to 90. Why scrimp and save if you're not enjoying any of the money? Save some and spend some is the best option.

00deed1988 · 04/11/2023 11:11

My kids are 12 and 9. I only established my career in the last 3 years and started earning a good wage after retraining. We still rent.

In my mind, when the kids are 18 I will still only be 42 and I will start saving a bit more then. Right now my priority is exploring with the kids while they want to spend time with is and making the memories. When they are older I will start cutting back a bit and saving for a mortgage.

I love our life and I know some people think we are being irresponsible. We have a small amount of savings, I have a good pension. I work very hard. Long hours including nights so I look forward go our next adventure. This year including spending money I have probably spent £11000 on our 6 holidays abroad and 3 UK breaks. I don't regret it at all and I don't feel guilty!

UsingChangeofName · 04/11/2023 15:23

I think it is about different mindset, and some of that comes from how wealthy / poor you are anyway.

I've inferred from what you put in your OP that you are a youngish couple, no dc, and in rented accommodation. So, in that position, if it were a realistic possibility that not having a holiday one year meant that we had enough for a deposit to buy a home of our own, then I'd do that. Then, for the next 25 / 30 years, every month you'd be buying a bit more of your own property rather than paying (usually more money to pay) off your LandLord's mortgage.

Once I was then in that position, then holidays are important to me too. I wouldn't go without holidays just to overpay that mortgage, but I would to get me over the line if it were a one off in the year I were buying my first home.

JamSandle · 04/11/2023 15:26

I had a parent die young so I say enjoy what you have why you have it. The future isn't promised.

CuttingAllTheFlowersStill · 04/11/2023 18:46

I think it is easier if you have a budget and your savings goals are a bit more defined and in separate pots. We have always had a monthly amount going to holidays (as well as to DIY, cars whatever) - then you never have to think 'oh no I shouldn't spend £100/£1000/£10000 on a holiday' but 'where do we want to go with the £100/£1000/ £10000 we have saved'.

CowCatsRule · 04/11/2023 18:55

You say you don’t own a property or have a rainy day fund but then you say you have 2 to 3 k left over each month. Is that right? If so I am really puzzled as the two don’t add up.

UsingChangeofName · 04/11/2023 19:38

That's what I asked yesterday @CowCatsRule - this doesn't really add up to me.

Original poster
zamanthazones · 21/11/2023 18:44

UsingChangeofName · 04/11/2023 15:23

I think it is about different mindset, and some of that comes from how wealthy / poor you are anyway.

I've inferred from what you put in your OP that you are a youngish couple, no dc, and in rented accommodation. So, in that position, if it were a realistic possibility that not having a holiday one year meant that we had enough for a deposit to buy a home of our own, then I'd do that. Then, for the next 25 / 30 years, every month you'd be buying a bit more of your own property rather than paying (usually more money to pay) off your LandLord's mortgage.

Once I was then in that position, then holidays are important to me too. I wouldn't go without holidays just to overpay that mortgage, but I would to get me over the line if it were a one off in the year I were buying my first home.

Yeah. You're spot on there. We aren't wanting to buy at the moment. When the time comes we'll be given a deposit by family. Fortunate, I know, but means we can be a bit more relaxed. We aren't certain we'll want to stay in London or in the UK for that matter, so renting is the best choice for us.

OP posts:
Original poster
zamanthazones · 21/11/2023 18:45

The comment about saving for a flat is more in regard to a long term goal, rather than a short term one as you say.

OP posts:
Libertass · 21/11/2023 18:56

Given that you obviously come from a wealthy & privileged background, you absolutely should spend money on holidays and enjoying life if these things are not going to limit your ability to buy a property when the time comes. At your age and in your position, I would absolutely have done the same.

Oblomov23 · 21/11/2023 19:46

What? Being a miser, or worse still tight, is a very unattractive quality.

User2123 · 21/11/2023 20:43

I look at it as how long would it take you to earn back the cost of the holiday. If you have £2000-3000 left each month then you must be earning something like £4000-5000 a month? So a £1000 holiday is only a week's wages. And you say you don't even need to save for a deposit as family will gift it? So what are you saving it for then? You only live once, go off and enjoy yourself while you can! If DH wants to be a misery guts then leave him behind to count his pennies and go with a friend instead?

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