Funeral

[Jamaisy82]

My partners auntie has just died. We have just found out the funeral is while we are away on holiday. I've looked into cancelling and changing dates etc but we will lose our money and paid quite alot. He said we will still go away but he looks sad about this. What would you do.

Send extra large flowers or donation and visit her grave when you get back, is one option.

Go and join you afterwards is another.

Very tricky, emotions high, no one answer works for everyone.

He said we will video call the funeral on the day so he at least feels part of it. He has ordered flowers and some roses for his cousin to put on grave. It's a tricky situation. Hard to not feel bad about going away.

If he was that close to his aunt, I don't understand why the funeral was not arranged for a date that he is not in holiday?

Everyone has tried to get a different date but that's the earliest available and that's over 2 weeks from now. It's the only date they can go with otherwise its a longer wait.

OP a similar thing happened when my mil died with one of her sister in laws. They were really upset but we insisted that they go on holiday. They did call to DH and his sister and sympathised in person before they went on holiday.

Give a donation.

Login if it is streamed.

Send apologies witha sympathy card with a lovely memory written in it.

My dad's funeral was arranged to be a month after he died. There was a slot two weeks after he died but my cousin wanted to come and couldn't make that date.

I was touched that we wanted to travel from another country for it so made sure that it was on a Friday to help his travelling.

Is the person organising the funeral not taking into account when people are able to attend?

@Choux yes we explained when we would be away, the funeral is in 3 weeks and that's when we are away its the only availability there was or another 2 weeks wait.

I would go and do something to mark the occasion when you are away. Let your DH choose what, it might make him feel better about it.

What would your Aunt have wanted you to do? As the day is to honour her, perhaps it would be appropriate to think whether she would want you to be away and experiencing all life has to offer? You can honor her with a toast, a special evening dedicated to her memory, telling each other stories about her and smiling at the good times. If you want to observe the service - could you use wifi to face time or teams call a relative who could hold the phone up? We did this recently for a relative in a care home who could not attend a funeral for health reasons.

I’m an Auntie and I’d say to my nieces don’t you dare cancel your holiday! Raise a glass to her while you are away.

My grandmother's funeral was arranged on the day that I moved house to facilitate another of her grandchildren attending - guess I wasn't a priority 🤷‍♀️

BIL died very suddenly while we were away.Imoossible to attend for several reasons.

We spent the time of the funeral in the local church, and said our prayers there.

Thanks everyone. He says he really still wants to go on holiday but feels sad about not attending but that's life and things happen. He has spoken to his cousin and uncle and they said go on holiday your auntie would not have wanted you to cancel at all. He will video link funeral and send flowers.