Divorced parent taking a child abroad

[Newtoallthis1981]

Hi,
hope someone can help with some real world experience in this area.

My daughter no longer lives with her mother, she moved out 2 years ago. She turns 16 early next year, and My (current) wife and I want to be able to take her abroad for her first holiday.

The issue we have is that her Mother has previously said if we took her abroad she would accuse us of kidnapping. She is a difficult woman with mental health issues.

Citizens Advice told me i need to send her a letter and get her to approve the letter. Which is something she won't do out of spite.

Anyone else had similar issues and managed to get past it?

I would apply for an adult passport when you daughter turns 16, and go on holiday after that, that way you don't need permission as she is travelling on an adult passport.

Happy to be told different, but thats what I would do.

But you could speak to a solicitor or the passport office for better advice than citizens advice gave you.

Does she live with you? You can apply for a court order which allows you to take her abroad for up to 30 days and you don’t need permission.
if your daughter has the same surname as you they probably won’t check either and don’t tell her mum you’re going abroad and she won’t know if the child doesn’t live with her

I’ve never been stopped at the airport with my DSS. My DH shared his surname, I later shared his surname. I don’t know how much difference that makes.

Practically how on earth would they verify that a “letter” is legitimate. Not worth the paper it’s written on.

In this situation I'd just not tell her mum. Even if she does report you nothing will happen as you actually intend to being her back

Would she not be in trouble for wasting police time? I'm assuming your daughter would happily confirm that she has been neither kidnapped or coerced in any way? She's not a toddler, so it sounds like a bit of an empty threat to me.

Easiest, cheapest and less problematic solution is to apply for an adult passport when she is sixteen. Applying to court might take much longer and bring a lot of aggravation. I’ll rather delay the holiday a bit than put my child through it.

Is she living with you, it is not clear from your post if she moved out elsewhere or with you.

What's the liklihood of her finding out if you just didn't tell her?

Well at 16 I would have thought it would be up to her if she wanted to go abroad. In reality, although someone under 18 travelling alone can be asked for a letter giving permission, my son travelled abroad on his own twice at 16 and was not asked for anything, despite looking young for his age. If your daughter doesn't live with her mum, I would just go.

Is there a court order for childcare arrangements? If you are named as the resident parent on these then you already have the right to take her out of the U.K. for up to 30 days without express consent from the other parent. And you just need to show the court order if asked at the borders (as long as the 16 year old is consenting which I assume she is).

If not and there is no way she would agree then you need to speak to a solicitor for advice. Technically I suspect you may still need to apply for a specific issue order to clarify the situation but I’m not a lawyer, have just had lots of experience in the family courts with a younger child who I was genuinely worried his abusive father might abduct (I was so worried I applied for a prohibited steps order and actually got it despite my solicitors warning me it was rarely granted, as my ex actually dug himself into a hole there by ranting on about how much he was against British values being taught to our child in school etc which rang all sorts of alarm bells as you can imagine).

It’s likely to be quite straightforward and go in your favour if the 16 year old wants to go and is living with you and not in contact with the other parent. In general, judges are very loath to deny a child a holiday without very good reason.

In England and Wales arrangements for children end at age 16, so after that its down to you

I would wait untill she's 16 then take her.