Thinking of a trip to India - advice please

[JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon]

We are thinking of a trip to India next year, just me and DH. We have never been to India or indeed Asia before so would love some advice.

We're happy to travel independently, use public transport or drive and get off the beaten track in Europe and the USA but don't feel very confident about India.

We don't expect or need high end luxury but don't want to rough it. We need a proper bed and a decent shower and air con in hot weather.

We want to see the sights, the main priorities being Taj Mahal, Jaipur, Lutyens New Delhi and Jodhpur.

Any advice on travel companies to use, whether a guided trip is best, when to go, how to get around (if not on a tour), things to keep in mind etc.

We have brochures from trailfinders and exodus to begin with

My honest advice?

Source: being born and raised as a girl child and then a woman up to age 23 in indian metropolis.

You will need to unthink and unlearn the following things you may live by in the UK-

1. “I can go for a run/be out by myself at any time of the evening or night if the area is well lit”
2. ”If I approach the police - they'll help me. What happened to Sarah everard is an exception”
3. ”I can get on public transport and I obviously won’t be groped”
4. ”I can wear X item of clothing nobody bats an eyelid”.

Really sorry to be a downer. You’ll get plenty of tourist tips but I couldn’t not pass this on. I have been a little girl on Indian streets, a teenage girl on Indian buses, an early 20s women returning home from college, and I’ve had countless girl friends, cousins, aunts and acquaintances doing the same.

I hope you get to enjoy my country - its geography is magnificent, it’s history complex and it’s cuisine delectable.

My DD travelled round India last year, seeing all the places you’ve named apart from Taj Mahal. She did it all independently, used trains and buses and had a fabulous time!

Trailfinders are excellent.

I've travelled extensively in Asia and would say that India is pretty hard core for a first time experience, it's so so full on in every way possible

We went everywhere independently by train for months on end, totally exhausting!

Taj Mahal is amazing.

Enjoy!

Sorry I should clarify we will only have a couple of weeks, no months of backpacking.

If you stretch to it, have a guide in Agra. Ours was amazing and made the Taj Mahal and other sights experience so much more meaningful. I would love to tell you his details but I don't have them and he was called Hajj as are many other Muslim men who have recently completed the pilgrimage.
New Delhi: we loved it but be prepared. It is not an easy city. My parents were subject to this common scam - thankfully near a very nice hotel which they escaped to, but it really shook them up . You will have to put your hardest heart on not to give into beggars and randoms trying to "help out". They usually targeted DH rather than me as it assumed that men have the money.
Jaipur is awesome. We were there during wedding season (January/February) and were totally mesmerised (and possibly got invited to - part of - a wedding because we were chatting to the groom's family at a shop!).
It is hard core, unlike anywhere I have ever been. I certainly would not have gone anywhere without DH and, even with him, didn't feel totally safe. Was somewhat manhandled but couldn't say a word because DH would have kicked off and I don't think that would have had a happy ending! This was mostly Delhi related though.
If you are looking for a lighter experience then I would recommend Sri Lanka. We did India and then Sri Lanka and have often said we should have done it the other way around.

That's good to know, we have used exodus once and found them good, a family member uses them frequently but we have no experience of trailfinders and they might be more suitable.

Interested in other suggestions if India is a bit full on for novices!

If you want a more relaxing experience try just Kerala. Tonnes to do and see there for a fortnight. We went with children aged 9 and 11 and they loved it.

Honest advice? I wouldn't go back. Even trying to do things ethically, it felt very exploitative. The economic imbalance is huge. I couldn't relax at all. I don't deny that it is beautiful, challenging, breathtaking at times but it was just hard. Lowest point - the way you have to give a toilet attendant a tiny coin for toilet paper and realise her baby girl is lying on some cardboard in the toilets and will grow up to do the same. I don't think tourism helps people get out of poverty. Maybe others have more positive experiences to share.

Thank you for your advise, I will keep it in mind. I hope that I am reasonably aware of the cultural differences and safety issues from my research and talking to friends.

I'm mid forties, and unlikely to be out without my husband, because we tend to stick together on holiday not because I am not allowed out alone! I would of course dress conservatively.

It’s pretty hardcore. Went for a wedding so were hosted by an Indian family so had some measure of protection and local knowledge. When we were off on our own we had to be alert. The poverty and dirt is hard to convey.

I also went to Goa in my twenties with a female friend and only narrowly avoided gang rape. Glad I went on balance but I wouldn’t go back. We have teen girls - would never take them. Even with us there couldn’t be confident of their safety

It's just such an assault on every sense, I've been twice and wouldn't ever want to go back. Don't get me wrong, it's an incredible experience but it just destroys you or it did me. The guilt and angst you feel seeing all the poverty, the dirt and disease, I got very ill - we were proper backpacking though. You cannot imagine the intensity of all those millions of people none of them with any sense of personal space all crushed around you. Places like the Taj Mahal are amazing and you do leave the masses behind for an hour or two but then you're back out in it again.

I'd thoroughly recommend Indonesia (Bali especially) Vietnam, Cambodia and/or Thailand. The people are the loveliest anywhere, the food incredible, scenery amazing. Oh Nepal is wonderful too but also very poor.

It is an incredibly full on country to travel in. Have you travelled anywhere much outside of Europe/N America? If not then tbh I wouldn’t start with India, you really might not enjoy it.

Thailand or Vietnam would be a much better starting point and will give you an idea of what sort of trip you enjoy.

You can reduce the full on-ness by staying in very swish hotels and hiring a driver to take you around but personally I wouldn’t, for many reasons (not least the roads can be terrifying)! Or by going to Kerala as a pp suggested, which is much more easy going and prosperous, but it’s a very different trip and won’t see the classic sights you have listed.

What time of year are you thinking, or is it flexible?

If you follow these rules, your trip will be fine:

Only stay in international chain hotels and go on tours organised by them.

Only use official, licenced taxis.

Dont become friendly with anyone.
Otherwise you will be seen as an easy target.
Wearing sunglasses will help avoid eye contact.

Covering your head with a scarf will help you blend in.

Beggars are plentiful and persistent. They are all professional scammers. Totally ignore them.
If you dont, you will be besieged by beggars.

Only give information on a need to know basis.

India was a massive culture shock for me, despite having travelled across many countries in Asia before. However much of what makes the country overwhelming also makes it an amazing place to visit - the colours, the culture, the food. But the extent of the poverty is also devastating. I would recommend going with a tour company - I think this would feel safer and cut out a lot of stress.
Alternative suggestions if you want somewhere slightly less full on would be Sri Lanka (beautiful country and a much slower pace) or Vietnam. Enjoy your travels!

I hated every minute. People literally shitting in the street. A rat ran across the dining room in the Sheraton.

horrible cruelty to animals before you even think of the people leading awful lives.

not able to go anywhere independently.

sri Lanka was much more enjoyable.

As per my two previous posts I've backpacked and gone luxury, it didn't make any difference to the horror and upset with regards to the poverty tbh

We travellled around India about 4 years ago when our kids were all small. We did it through a company called stubborn mule. I highly recommend them.

We did an Golden Triangle by Rail trip years ago was amazing, hotels fab but I agree with others that I would def do tour and it was very full on in terms of poverty gap etc. We at the time we're pretty seasoned travellers and was still a shock! Had a great time though and would def go back.

Have you done any majority world travelling? Because I've done a lot and still think India is pretty hardcore. I'd start with SE Asia or Central America or East Africa. China? Central Asia?

India is a mixed bag in terms of whether people enjoy it.

I'd like to balance out some of the comments with a more positive view. I've been to India several times (my in laws are Indian) and each time I've been I love it more. Yes you see poverty but I knew what to expect. I was prepared for the sights I saw. Many people are not poor - there are also many rich and middle class people. It's not all squalor.
I really like the people. The people I've met (rich and poor) have seemed like good people to me. Kind and welcoming.
We've never been to the main sights like Taj Mahal so I can't give tips. We've been to Bangalore, Goa, Mumbai and travelled through the rain forests. I've often been out and about without my husband and have always felt safe. I've never been groped or approached by men. All people have been respectful towards me. I've noticed curious locals (male and female) occasionally take photos of me but that doesn't happen in Goa/Mumbai etc where they're more than used to tourists.

A friend and I travelled around the South of India for 3 weeks for our 30's - Mumbai, Kerela, Goa and Dehli. We did it all independently and loved it. We booked a day trip to the Taj Mahal through our hotel in Dehli and paid a driver (arranged through our hotel) to take us around in Mumbai. We also took a 5hr train journey and a stayed on a houseboat. I won't lie, there was more than 1 occasion where we felt unsafe, but we generally found the Indian people very hospitable. It's a massive culture shock, in good ways and bad. An experience I will never forget!

30th's

To be honest if you've never been to Asia before, you may wish to consider a different country for your first trip.

India was my first experience of Asia but I'd previously been to Egypt, including Luxor, quite a few times before so the culture shock wasn't too bad. I went with my husband both times. The first time I went on a package holiday to North Goa with Thomas Cook but I organised a short trip to Delhi and Agra. I sorted flights and accommodation myself but then used a tour guide who sorted out the transport and tours of Delhi and Agra. It was amazing, I cried when I saw the Taj Mahal!

The second time I sorted the whole trip myself. I stayed in South Goa, which I much preferred to the North and did a side trip to Mumbai, which was fantastic. Sorted the accommodation and transport to/from the airport myself and found a guide off TA for a tour of the slums, which was fascinating, and a different guide for a tour of the sights in Mumbai. It was Holi while I was there and was a fabulous trip. I'd definitely go back to India.

I've subsequently been to Vietnam and Thailand (again with my husband) and organised both trips myself (I love holiday planning). As PP have said, I think Vietnam or Thailand would be a much gentler introduction to Asia for you and of the two, probably Thailand. I went for the first time this year (Phuket and Koh Ya Noi) and everything was just so easy, from sorting a sim card at the airport to getting from the airport to the islands and back to the airport, everything just seems to run so smoothly, I found the Thais so organised, if they said they were going to turn up at a certain time, they were usually 5-10 minutes early. I loved it so much that I've recently booked to go back to Thailand in January (Bangkok, Koh Kood and Koh Mak).

I haven't yet been to Sri Lanka but have heard it's nowhere near as hard core as India so that's another alternative. I'm hoping to go in 2025 and will organise it myself again, using tour guides from TA.