Travelling around Asia with 4 year old

[Dinoswearunderpants]

Hi all

Not sure if I'm mad or not but I had this lovely idea of doing three months travelling in Summer 2025 before little one starts school.

My hubby has now said he can't come along as he simply can't get the time off work/afford it.

Would I be mad to do a trip just me and a 4 year old? He's currently well travelled but who knows if it'll change closer to the time.

I was thinking maybe to do 6 weeks. Love to include Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia if I can.

No specific budget. I wouldn't be staying in hostels or anything but would like a mix of some basic hotels then a few nice ones.

Not sure whether to book organised tours or do our own thing.

Any suggestions would be great.

Do it!
I wouldn't discount hostels either. We've often met other families and it's nice having people to chat to.
I would (and did) bring a correctly fitting lifejacket for those countries - lots of fab boat trips.
Go slower than you would on your own and factor in whatever your normal home activities are (afternoon spent colouring, playing games etc).

Thank you so much. Would you plan everything out or slightly wing it? I'm usually a planner but I know with kids, you need to be flexible so it's hard to know what's best to do.

Sounds wonderful and you should go for it.

Definitely do it! I also wouldn’t discount hostels as many have private rooms. When we travel we usually plan out about a week in advance, but good to have a loose plan particularly if you need to book flights

I don’t know. But we are planning similar with Ds next year when he will be 4.
But thinking just Japan and South Korea. 5 -6 weeks . Mixture of rural homestead type places and city.
Im a planner though. So will be booking up everything. Adding extra days in each location compared to if just adults so it’s not so fast paced, and will prioritise things like faster trains.

Have you done solo travelling before? Did you enjoy it?

Has your DC done much travelling around before? Did they enjoy it?

I don’t think either I or my DC would enjoy this much (I LOVE travel but not without adult company, and the DC get tired and homesick quite easily) but you may be different!

Do it! But be prepared for dc not to be wildly excited by all the cultural sights (have memories of my ds loudly proclaiming Not another Chinese Temple as my very kind Malaysian friend was showing us the sights).

I tend to take the dc abroad every summer, for the whole summer. This year we stayed in the uk, but for next year we're debating between thailand, mexico or costa rica. Dh will fly out and meet us for his 2 week holiday so he doesnt go 6 weeks without seeing us.

My dc tend to be happiest with a pool and beach access. I tend to book airbnb places rather than hotels as i like having a kitchen and more living space (but my dc are now a older) but try and remain in walking distance of somewhere to eat breakfast and lunch. Then we'll switch to a really nice hotel for last week as a treat.

I didn't tend to book organised tours, only did day trip ones. You can always google fancy travel agent itineraries and loosely base your route on that. But go at your own speed, and have the ability to keep things flexible.

Cost wise i find its actually not that expensive. Flights are £££, but once you're out there accommodation, food and travel is cheaper than in the uk.

@Dinoswearunderpants
I'd be inclined to at least 'mostly' plan if you're on your own with kids.
Hunting down somewhere to stay isn't as much fun with a hungry tired kid.
That said, if you're not going in peak season and with booking.com on your phone, it's easy to book a few days ahead.
And especially if your budget is flexible.

I'll be honest as a parent I wouldn't want to go 12 weeks without seeing my 4 year old, so if I was your husband I'd not be happy about you going for that long.

If you're married why is it you can afford to go but he can't? If it was purely about annual leave I'd rather go as a family and have a shorter holiday but do it together.

Traveling is great, even with kids, but put the shoe on the other foot and if your husband was wanting to take your child away for 3 months without you, wouldn't you think that's a long time to go without seeing a 4yo?

In fact, ignore my previous comment... I can see you originally thought 3 months but now have decided on 6 weeks. Much more manageable in my opinion!!!

I think that’s quite a lot for six weeks- you could spend 6 weeks alone in Thailand.

Thailand is very child friendly and somewhere I feel safe, and I took DS at 18m and 5yo. Singapore is great too.

With Indonesia I’d look at malaria areas.

I've been to Indonesia, Thailand and Singapore with our kids, but always with my husband as well. I've also been to Malaysia and Singapore on my own prior to meeting my husband. I think Asia would be fab. However our kids are now 8 and 11, but I actually don't think 6 weeks on my own traveling constantly with either of them, aged 4, would have held a huge amount of appeal to me. I am some who travelled extensively on my own, but just me and my pre-school aged child on the road holds less appeal. You have plenty of time before summer 2025, why don't you try a week traveling somewhere just you and your child and see how you find it? It will also give you an idea of how easy it is join up with others and get some adult company whilst on the road. If you love it then jump at the 6 week trip!

Yes I've travelled before and loved it. I did do organised tours though as I'm a bit lazy and preferred someone driving me around etc.

DS is 2 and has visited 27 countries so he's well travelled. Very adaptable to change and new surroundings.

My husband is incredible and has said he wouldn't want us to miss out on this experience because he can't afford it. He would miss us deeply but we have video calls to catch up. He says life is for living and experiences and he'd never hold us back.

It's a bit different paying for one adult than two (especially when flights will be a few thousand alone). Then it's the missed wages for both of us. Not to mention he has three other children he has to financially pay for.

I think would be nice to go away though they will not remember when older sadly but can show them the photos.

I don't know if it's too many countries though. We looked into this region for a 2020 trip which never happened and weather was iffy in Thailand that time of year. I would research and plan itinerary out, Borneo was also good that time of year though very hot. I did find when mine were 4 they weren't that patient so was best with activities close by or travel being made interesting by using different methods rather than long car journeys. Singapore seemed quite small though could do that quickly and get flight via there. TripAdvisor forums can be great for regional planning as locals go on there.

I definitely agree life is for living and go for it. I would plan out all though paying a bit extra for free cancellation can be worth it.

I did do organised tours though as I'm a bit lazy and preferred someone driving me around etc.

Actually I think a small group tour could work brilliantly for you, something like Exodus or Responsible Travel, the ones aimed at families. You would get a bit of adult company and a lot of the organisational load taken off you, your DC would get other DC. You could maybe do a tour at the beginning and end and your own thing (maybe with DH if he can join) in between? That’s what I’d do in your shoes, in fact I’m now considering doing it with my own DC.

… and on the flip side, if you haven’t done much independent (non tour) travelling around before, I would say this is not the time to start, with a 4 yr old in tow.

I think it does depend on the 4yo. My eldest at that age would have been up for that sort of trip. My youngest who is 4 now wouldn’t at all. We had tears on holiday this year because she missed her cuddly toys too much and she doesn’t cope well with the heat. If yours has already done 27 countries he sounds incredibly well travelled though but I’d still go half as slow as what you initially think you want to do and think about joining a family tour for some company.

Inevitably he won’t appreciate or care about the things you think he should find interesting but that doesn’t mean he won’t enjoy it. As an example, One year my colleague took her primary age kids on an amazing trip through Russia. The highlight for the youngest was getting lemonade. The child still enjoyed the trip but didn’t care one jot about any of the cultural and historical stuff- it was all about the lemonade (much to her mothers annoyance…)

They are all very child friendly countries so I would think it would be a great experience, don’t underestimate the cost of accommodation in Singapore though. Personally although I love it (and DD fell in love with the place when she was 3) I would only spend a few nights there. We did three months travel Singapore/Malaysia/Thailand when we moved from the Uk to Aus, obviously very different with two parents but we had three kids aged 3, 8 and 13. Khao Tao was a highlight, the kids spent hours playing on the beach. Bangkok was crazy but we found the trick was nice accommodation so you could escape the heat and busyness and chill out in aircon or a hotel swimming pool - some great rooftop ones - when you had enough. The school leaver backpackers were hilarious, they looked with horror at our kids but the Thais often ignored them and focused on our kids instead 😁. Our 3yo cried when we said goodbye to the driver we had used. Bali is obviously the easiest place to go in Indonesia, we were at a wedding on Gilli T a few weeks back with lots of kids and most of the parents found the ferry a bit stressful (not the ferry itself, but the terminals are chaos). Sanur is chill and very child friendly. Wherever you go have a great trip.

No I would not take my child away from my husband for that long and he would not from me, sure when my child was (in real life they are a teenager) 8 or nine and more of their own person to agree and we were all fine with it sure we love traveling but alone no, maybe the child stays home with their father and you spend 4 months without them?

@WandaWonder - op said 6 weeks, not 4 months. 6 weeks with a 4 year old. That’s a long trip but not silly long for child to be apart from one parent if with other

No idea where I got 4 months from, but same post again but with 6 weeks

Your 4 year old might not enjoy it.

In theory it sounds cool but long haul flights, sweltering heat, Thailand will be in the rainy season in July if you're planning just before school starts.

Would a 4 year old really enjoy being dragged around or happier at home with mummy.

A friend did this with her child to her native country for 4 weeks. The dad couldn't bear the child's face on video calls clearly sad at seeing his dad but not being with him.

It’s maybe a bit grinchy of me (hence working on my mindset!) but I’ve never been sold on taking my LO on a holiday of a lifetime that they won’t remember.

A friend takes her kids all over the world and you ask then what they liked most and it’s literally a big ice cream they had one day that they remember.

HOWEVER some of it will sink in, you’ll enjoy it, it will be a great bonding experience for you both so just go for it if you want to!