Please help me plan a holiday in Germany!

[SnuggleBuggleBoo]

Bearing in mind I CAN'T SPEAK GERMAN!!!! I understand a bit of simple written German and know a few VERY simple tourist phrases - ' Wo sind die toilette?' type thing. Part of the point of my trip is to try and absorb a bit of the lingo from just overhearing other people (can that be done in a week? Maybe not!) Anyway, for this reason I'd like it to be somewhere where they speak 'High German' rather than having accents which will confuse me more than I already am confused! I'd also like it to be somewhere where I can be fairly confident people will Sprechen enough Englisch to help me out of any fixes I find myself in.

I would rather not stay in a city as I find them stressful enough in England! I'm thinking maybe somewhere suburbenish with a laid back feel, where they won't be heavily judging me for trying to struggle through 'Guten Tag, eine Bretzel bitte' with a queue forming rapidly behind me.

Apart from just wandering around eavesdropping the locals I haven't thought much about what I'd actually DO to fill my days. I like waterparks, but I'm thinking Germany isn't famous for them! Castles are cool, I wouldn't say no to museums, I love animals but any zoos would need to be top-notch ethically, I enjoy rural cycling as long as it's not too steep. I love the big forests and wildlife and stuff, but I'm going to be dependant on public transport which might limit my access to those things a bit!

Anyway, any suggestions? I know I might have to find a compromise if I'm really being realistic.

Don't go to Hannover, it's a really boring part of Germany.

How about the area north of Hamburg, called Holsteinische Schweiz. Lots to do and you can easily access Hamburg, Lübeck, Baltic Sea. It's fairly flat and cycling is easy. Not a. lot of castles though but plenty of museums.

Southern Germany is nice, you will find more English-speaking tourists, it unfortunately seems most US or UK visitors do tend to go there for "going to Germany".

If you go to the Franconia Switzerland (north of Nürnberg) you will also have lots of outdoor activities and lots will speak English as there was the US Army based for decades. The university in Erlangen also has a big number of international students, so the language is not an issue.

Saying that, all these will come with some issues regarding transport if you don't drive. You would have to research trains/bus routes and then how to go to more rural attractions.

Would Hamburg appeal to you?

I've been to a range of places in Germany, having read German at degree level.

I really enjoyed my time in Hamburg - it's not that big for a city.

I was based near the Inner Alster Lake, which is really very central and the area felt very spacious.

One quirky place I went to was the Willkomm-Höft, which is on the river - there is a restaurant there where you can watch the ships coming in to the port of Hamburg - the restaurant has a loudspeaker which welcomes the ships and plays the national anthem of the ship's country!

The Speicherstadt area, where the port warehouses are, is fascinating.

If you like classical music, there is a spectacular new concert hall.

I had a dish called Labskaus at a restaurant called the Old Commercial Room near the St Michaelis church. Labskaus was popular with sailors because they could use things they had stored on board - many of these ships were delivering to Liverpool, where they shared the Labskaus with local people; it is said that they adopted it as their own dish to such an extent that Labskaus became 'Scouse' and they became known as 'Scousers'.

https://www.hamburg-travel.com/

Thanks for all your input everyone!! I'm still totally scrambled as to where to go! Everywhere seems ton have pros and cons!

I would pick Baden baden

Stuttgart is excellent too as although it's city it's well connected and has beautiful places outside of it.

My other pick for you would be Bonn - very small city (think size of day Bath) but easy to go to cologne sndDusseldorf and is a really lovely small city - easy to fly into either cologne or Dusseldorf.

I enjoyed Cologne, a variety of museums. I enjoy the Ruhrgebiet, but then I like industrial history. I went to Dortmund for work and then for a boyfriend.

Cities are where you're more likely to find English speakers - same as the UK, you probably expect local accents to be stronger in more isolated, rural communities. The former West Germany has a longer history of learning English, though it is over 30 years since the Wall came down, so that's less of a factor now.

How will you be travelling? Public transport is usually good, but if you'll have a car, that gives you more flexibility.

If it were me, I'd want to visit where I was born and where my family had been, but it's not me, so...

If you don't want a city, I'd suggest flying to Frankfurt - which is a nice small city, and taking a trip down the Mosel river.

There are a range of impressive castles, very cute little villages, lots of stops to go wine tasting and practice your German in a leisurely way.

Trier is also well worth visiting for the Roman ruins.