Exhausted

[Hetty104]

AIBU ?

We recently had a family trip to New York
( 2 teenagers ) we then came home for a week and then hubby and I went to cornwall for a week, some nice hotels, good food, glorious weather and a little bit of camping thrown in. The day’s leading up to both of these holidays we’re exhausting. Packing, checking passports, esta’s etc making sure the pets were going to be looked after. My elderly mum also lives with us so making sure here needs were met.
Then I return to a load of washing, bedding as my teenage son decided to have friends to stay 😡 towels, teenagers washing, mums washing etc etc and the list goes on. Im almost in tears as I think about the work involved for a few weeks a year. I now have to catch up on shopping, preparing for work tomorrow, admin, post.
Its never ending,
How does everyone else cope ? Does anyone else feel like this? I feel so ungrateful.

I feel so down about it all and my husband just doesn’t get it!

x

I don't understand how you can be "exhausted" by holiday prep and washing a load of clothes when you get home.

But you could start your prep earlier and spread it out a bit, and do washing over a longer period too - that might help - there's no urgency to get it done.

Or you could delegate.

teenager can do the washing he caused, and you should share holiday prep: agree "jobs" in advance between you and DH and anything he doesn't do... doesn't get done.

Don't just wallow in misery: get help.

Two teenagers should be cleaning their own mess, but also helping out with other things as well eg your mums washing. It's not difficult if you all pitch in.

If your H doesn't get it, fine, just give him a list of jobs too and ask him to crack on. He doesn't need to 'get it's, he just needs to do it.

Poor you

Here's how I cope:

I don't need to check our passports as I have a post-it note in my diary with the dates they will need renewing on it. This way I can move it from diary to diary.

I get the pets care sorted waaaaay in advance.

I have a packing list which I update whenever I think of something. Then I pack the night before I go. I don't pack for everyone else, that's their responsibility.

Then, when I return, I tell everyone to do their own washing. Tbh, I or DH will do ours together, but the teenagers do their own. There is no way in hell I would be washing bedding that their friends had used.

Opening the post, well most of it is crap anyway and goes straight into the recycling bin unopened. The rest is probably pretty unimportant too, so goes on the side until I can be bothered to open it.

Shopping... depends how I feel. I might do it or I might ask DH or DS1 to do it.

I don't have an elderly parent to look after, yet, but if I did, I'd probably concentrate on that and let the others do all the washing and shopping.

How does everyone else cope ? Does anyone else feel like this? I feel so ungrateful.

A lot of people are not martyrs. They live with other competent adults who do their share of things.

@Strugglingtodomybest has it about right. It's about being organised well in advance. I have lists for everything, as soon as a holiday is booked I list down everything that will need sorting, taxi/transfers, cattery, money, paperwork etc. These get sorted as early as possible. Before we go I write a list of everything to buy/pack. We all do our own packing. I sort kitchen stuff if we're self catering, dh does tech/electricals. I also book and do an online shop for after we get back so that's one less thing to have to sort when we arrive home, probably tired and grumpy from travelling. We'll also often have a takeaway on the night we come home to save anyone cooking and finish the holiday. Once we're home washing gets done a bit at a time, I wash stuff that's needed first, beach towels and swimwear can wait. If you're organised and practical it really shouldn't be exhausting.

@MermaidEyes I always say that next time I'll do an online shop, and then everytime I forget. Looks like I need another Post-It note!

You do realise that this is the Holiday topic don't you?!

Next time, bring the laundry to local laundrette for a service wash, dry & fold.

Your teen should have sorted the bedding and towels that his friends used. Your other teens should have done their own packing and unpacking.

Esta’s could have been completed months in advance.

Get the whole family involved now in sorting what needs to be done today.

Now come on op stop moaning. Order an ocado shop from the beach next time like the rest of us 😉 😂

😆 God I love my post it notes!!

We share the load

You need to get on it all earlier and get the others doing more to help!

Please tell you’re not packing for more than 1 person given the ages of the kids, my 6YO can mostly manage her own packing if given a specific enough list.

Add the API to the flights immediately after you book. Then you’ve checked the passports and job done. Do the ESTAs at the same time. Then they’re also done and stay valid for years. Checking any of this stuff right before the holiday is pointless as you’d be too late to get a new passport anyway.

Pet sitter should also booked as soon as the flights are so again there shouldn’t be anything to do in the immediate run up except maybe do an Amazon order for food/litter.

If your teens can’t clean up after themselves and their friends then they’re not mature enough to have friends to stay, no way should you be doing any of their washing.

We always book an online grocery shop before we go to arrive when we get back. We’re off on holiday at the weekend and DH apparently did the shop yesterday.

As others have said, you do seem to be focussing on very minor things. I know the load is often greater than the sum of its parts, but "checking passports and Estas" or "dealing with post" after a wee away really aren't a big deal. Your kids are old enough to help too.

My tip is to not do all the washing as soon as you get back. Just do a load a day as you would any other time. It’s not the end of the world if you have a pile of washing for a week.

I will never complain again about holiday chores after travelling during Covid. Organising the tests to take with us, testing & submitting the tests while we were on holiday and then organising tests within 24 hours of our return was an absolute nightmare. So be grateful, things could be worse 😊

I don't tend to organise two holidays pretty much back to back.

That is your problem.