Want to go on holiday but have emetophobia

[tingtangwallawallabingbangg]

Please be gentle with me..

I have suffered from crippling emetophobia (vomit phobia) and anxiety my whole life. This impacts every aspect of my life.

I have seen a therapist for this for years and fortunately I have seen quite a lot of improvement however I still suffer with really bad panic attacks most commonly when I go out (eg. Shopping etc.). I'm not at the height of my phobia/anxiety anymore but it is definitely still there.

I'm so fed up of allowing this phobia to dictate my life to me. I really really want to go on holiday to Disney world but I'm terrified of having such bad anxiety and obviously the emetophobia. I'm scared of the flight (anyone being sick on it) and just of getting germs in general which then leads to me panicking. I go on so few rides and I really want to go on them.

I've been to Disney a few times and the last one I was so overwhelmed with anxiety it just ruined it - I have seen a therapist since then which is when the improvement has happened.

Has anyone suffered similar and managed to go on holiday and actually be ok?

Thank you in advance

It sounds extreme. You are no more likely to come across sickness on holiday than in normal life. Though perhaps a theme park might not be the place for you. Disney is an odd choice anyway, can't you think of somewhere else to go where it's less crowded and more peaceful for you? Some where rural? Coast?
I have flown many 100s of times and never seen anyone sick. Coach trips -yes, boat trips - yes but not aeroplanes.

@Nippi

Thank you. We do really just want to go to Disney - we just wouldn't go away if it wasn't there. It looks like I won't be going anywhere regardless 🤬☹️

Op you have all my sympathy. However I really wouldn’t go to Disneyland if you have emetophobia. My dc went to Alton Towers which have similar rides and they said quite a few people were sick.
I have never been to a theme park with the dc (dh took them) for that reason.
I understand your fear of flying in case a passenger is sick - one problem is one can’t get off the plane!
Other posters have made good suggestions like noise cancelling headphones and masks. Maybe just stick to short flights to Europe.

@Barbadossunset

Thank you. I won't go.

@NerdyMama I feel your pain on the tummy bug anxiety around school and soft play and worryingly my DD8 seems to also be worrying about being sick now too ( I’m not actually worried I’ll get sick my phobia is other people being sick). Please update if you feel the hypno helps … need to find something that works before my poor DD has this awful phobia for life too 🥲

Sometimes when I've been really anxious I think of it as taking the anxiety for a holiday. Just to see what it does.

I know it sounds weird but thinking if the anxiety as a separate being helps me manage it. You sort of just notice the anxiety and intrusive thoughts for example 'oh I'm feeling quite anxious now, yep heart rates going up, I wonder if it'll pass or I'll have a full blown panic attack'

You just accept the anxiety rather than fear or avoid feeling it.

Not sure if that makes sense but it helps me!

The human brain is very good at learning things to be afraid of, you can literally teach it to be afraid of anything by avoiding the scary thing. Then when you are faced with the scary thing it will chuck all the horrible feelings at you thinking it's doing you a favour.

The only way through is to stop avoiding, stop catastrophising and to push through even if you feel so terrible it doesn't feel worth it. At some point the awful feelings will go but it takes time.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies

Thank you - I know exactly what you mean.

With my anxiety I used to, for many years, be able to live with it and control it by telling it to basically bring it on. If I started to feel a panic attack coming on I would tell myself to bring it and encourage it to come. It never came.

However now I'm older that trick doesn't work anymore - I try but my brains outsmarted it now.

Tingtang do you get films and tv shows vetted for vomiting scenes?
I do - and a friend who has a snake phobia also does.

Do not, ever, go whale watching on a boat.

@Barbadossunset

Nope - doesn't bother me at all. The sick scenes aren't real - they can't affect me in any way. I've actually watched videos purposely of people being sick - real and staged and I'm fine.

The only thing that bothers me is the thought of me being sick with a sickness bug. The thought of any circumstance where I can catch a sickness bug.

The holiday fears are of me catching something when I'm out there or my husband catching something and giving it to me. The fear would be even worse if it happened to me on a plane. If someone is sick through non contagious reasons - I'm not bothered. I've experienced a lot of people around me vomiting through drink - it doesn't bother me.

I've recently been on a boat twice - that felt huge to me but I did it.

Ah, ok. I wonder if you could get hold of some medicine that stops you being sick like ondansetron though I’ve no idea if doctors would prescribe it for what you describe.

Your brain hasn't outsmarted it, that's just another avoidance technique your brain tells you.

My phobia used to be around needing the toilet and not making it to one in time. This phobia got so bad I wouldn't go anywhere and leaving the house for any reason was v stressful.

The book Anxiety Panicking about Panic by Josh someone was really helpful and I decided that whatever my brain threw at me I would keep pushing myself.

You have to challenge every single thought so in your case it would be,

If I get on a plane someone might have a sickness bug - chances are no one on a plane will have a sickness bug and even if they did so what.

I might then catch that sickness bug - I'll feel ill for a couple of days but I will cope.

If I catch the sickness bug I would vomit - vomiting is a completely natural and harmless process which actually helps me to get better

If I vomit I'd be so stressed I would want to die - you won't die, you will cope and you will recover.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies

You are so right. These are exactly what my therapist would say.

In theory I should be able to calm myself by telling myself I will cope. It's just so difficult. I haven't been sick for 25 years - I wouldn't even know how to be sick!

I also understand your phobia around needing the toilet. I feel this way too except I worry that I will go out to a shop or work and I will need a poo. The thought of needing a poo when I'm anywhere but home terrifies me as I wonder what if I have diarrhoea. I have always linked sickness with diarrhoea so if I get a slight twinge I automatically assume it will be one or the other. Although my phobia isn't as strong with the poo side I find it very difficult to leave the house incase I end up needing the toilet whilst I'm out.

The sickness phobia is far, far stronger but I can put that to one side a lot of the time when I'm at home. I'm self employed too so I have recently been in the comfort of my home without having to socialise in a work settling anymore. This will then come into play if I've been out eg. At a shopping centre I would worry if I've been in contact with someone sick.

The thing that scares me the most about the holiday is the thought that I'll go to Disney, be around so many people then when I go home I'll have caught a bug and will be sick on the flight home. I'd rather jump out of the plane.

Argh, I drive myself insane with this I just don't know what to do.

And I feel SO bad for my husband. His life revolves around my shit. He doesn't get to go away too and I hate myself for it.

Sorry back again!

It also concerns me that a few people on this thread don't think I should go due to the perceived high risk of Disney. This reinforces my phobia as it makes me think the phobia is right and I'm wrong for even questioning the phobia.

Just to address your last comment. I said Disney might be wrong because I thought you were worried about seeing other people sick. Now I realise it's only yourself.
Vomiting from a fairground ride is not contagious so you are no more or less likely to catch a bug in Disney than anywhere else.
However you do seem very unwell. Please see your doctor.

I've suffered with emetophobia for years.
I spent a fortune on the thrive programme and had a coach.
It was very helpful, until my time with the coach ended, then I seemed to lose all my drive and progress overnight and I was back to square one.

You need a lot of willpower and commitment to do the programme properly and unfortunately part of me believed it wouldn't work, because nothing else has. My coach went on about changing belief systems, but unfortunately that particular belief wouldn't shift.
Another one was that being sick is horrible/an awful experience. Nothing was going to shift that belief either.
Perfectionism basically stopped it from working for me, and I'm still unsure how to deal with that.

Another thing that killed it for me was discovering Anna Christie and Ken Goodman. Both American/Canadian but Ken wrote a book called the emetophobia manual. The techniques in there seem to work better for me, but also they both have a bit to say about the thrive programme, and that many of their testimonials are fake.

I'm not saying I agree, but it left me very confused about what was going to work at all, and I lost faith in pretty much any help out there.

So for now I'm living day to day knowing I need to sort this phobia out, but not knowing how.

Not very helpful OP, but a bit of an insight as to what's out there at least.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies yep, exactly the responses I was trained to say to myself.

The problem is I would say them to myself, but not actually believe them. Round and round I went!

@Aramist

I'm so sorry you are having to live with this too. Only people with true emetophobia will understand how life limiting it is. 25 years of my life have been consumed day in, day out with this.

I felt exactly the same with thrive - I bought the book full of hope and I got about half way through and my perfectionism stopped me. I needed everything to work and for the phobia to go and I was so terrified that this (what felt like my only chance for the phobia to go) wouldn't work. I actually even emailed Rob Kelly - sent such a long personal email. Never heard back. I understand people are busy but not hearing back from one of the people he's trying to help gutted me.

I had actually found Anna Christie before - I'd emailed her a long time ago too and she messaged me and tried to help. Obviously when she's in Canada it's hard.

That's awful to hear the testimonials are fake - I have listened to their podcast a lot on and off over the last year.

I've lost hope too - I've had my fair amount of therapists to help me with this. Some have straight up laughed in my face, others said oh no one likes being sick but my current one is good. He gets it BUT wants to focus entirely on exposure. I want to get to the root of it, resolve the root then treat the phobia that it resulted in. I can't just go straight to licking doorknobs and making myself sick!

I really hope we can both find success in treating this. Xx

@tingtangwallawallabingbangg I recommend you try the emetophobia manual.
The idea of the monster at the back of the bus (bear with me) really helped me separate myself from the fear. I do still use it actually and it does help. I just need to keep going.

He does focus on exposure towards the end and it isn't like what you describe. It builds you up gradually and you don't need to actually make yourself sick, just being more comfortable with the whole 'act' of it.

I'm disappointed that you didn't get a reply from Rob. My coach was a lady called Michelle who is doing a lot of podcasts with him at the minute. They swear that exposure therapy doesn't work because you would never put yourself though it. I'm finding that at the moment but part of me thinks the only way to get over it is to do what's uncomfortable and becoming ok with it. Ken talks alot about that in his book.

@Aramist

I will definitely look into that - thank you. I haven't heard of it at all!

I also have the book by David veale who my current therapist has done workshops with. He worries me though as he openly says there isn't a cure ☹️

With my exposure therapy, I'm currently on a break as I had other issues to deal with (surgery), I was up to using public toilets and changing my restrictive eating. I have now successfully changed my diet - I can eat chicken etc now with ease. Sounds ridiculous to anyone who doesn't have this phobia. I didn't eat chicken for about 10 years prior to this. My diet was ridiculously restrictive but now it's so much better. Public toilets are still very difficult for me - I experience high anxiety if I ever have to use one. My therapist did often say I'll soon be licking doorknobs etc. and he did want me to take the pill that makes you sick. I understand IF for some people that can cure them but what if it doesn't? What if it re traumatises me? I'm not willing to take the risk.

@tingtangwallawallabingbangg there's a pill that makes you sick?
Nope !!
This is the issue, I wouldn't go near that!! I'm not sure I could be convinced either!

I've read David Veale too. I don't remember him saying there's no cure but I do remember him saying it can certainly be lessened by quite a bit. That's good enough for me.

Thankfully it's not seriously affecting me at the moment. I'm always worried about it, particularly the thought 'will it happen today?' Almost like an impending doom sort of feeling
..it's coming for me!
But I don't have too many safety behaviours that stop me living day to day life. The only ones I have is I stay away from the vast majority of seafood, overcook chicken, things like that.

I don't think there's an easy way through this anxiety you have to go through the pain of being afraid and you have to go through that pain barrier again and again before it starts becoming easier.

You trained your brain to give this response to a fear which you know is irrational.

The response your brain gives you is avoidance, panic, feeling physically ill etc this is all normal but if you don't break the loop just continues and gets worse.

I think you have to go all in for recovery, make that decision that this is not going to ruin your life and stop all avoidance tactics.

It is hard and I've been there completely paralysed with fear and crippling anxiety but knew I didn't want to live like this forever.

You can do it, you are brave and you can cope.

I've travelled a lot on planes and have never picked up a sickness bug. Out of hundreds of flights I've only ever seen one person who needed to throw up and she was holding it back just waiting for the toilet to be free (and very clearly suffering morning sickness). I have terrible travel sickness in cars and coaches but even during turbulence, I've never been travel sick on a plane.

I can't speak for Disney world but at least there, you can use hand sanitiser liberally after rides/ whenever you touch a surface. Also, when washing your hands just remember to dry with a paper towel and use it to exit any toilets without touching handles directly.