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Holidays

Use our Travel forum for recommendations on everything from day trips to the best family-friendly holiday destinations.

Original poster

conundrum....

16 replies

holyguacamolebatman · 08/07/2023 06:18

me Dh, dd17, ds 19 & autistic.
dd wants a fly and flop holiday somewhere warm.
ds either wants to go somewhere cold - hates heat- or stay at home.
we cant leave ds home alone, as despite his age he isnt responsible enough, & i def wouldn't relax. dd wont go anywhere cold!
i could go somewhere with just DD but then dh wouldn't get a holiday & that doesn't seem fair.
no extended family to come and house sit with DS.
any ideas?!!

OP posts:
TeenDivided · 08/07/2023 06:24

May not be practical for loads of reasons but:
Book for 2 weeks.
You and DD fly out. After 1 week you fly home and DH flys out for second week.

As DS can't be left probably only works for somewhere with daily flights or more.
Also your DD would have to be happy to share room with your DH.

BlanketSmoothies · 08/07/2023 06:46

In what way is your 19 year old son not responsible enough to be left home alone? He’s an adult.

Ragwort · 08/07/2023 06:49

Blanket have you actually read the opening post?

Sirzy · 08/07/2023 06:51

BlanketSmoothies · 08/07/2023 06:46

In what way is your 19 year old son not responsible enough to be left home alone? He’s an adult.

A diagnosis of autism could have something to do with it.

Sirzy · 08/07/2023 06:53

Would a cruise be an option? Ds is autistic and has the same hatred of heat but is happy to cruise as he can stay inside in air conditioning the whole time!

Mindymomo · 08/07/2023 06:55

I don’t know what your money situation is, but a cruise from Southampton to the Mediterranean could be a solution, no fly, but it’s something we’ve done as a family who all like different things and it ticks a lot of boxes. Cabins and ship are air conditioned and you can do as little or as much sightseeing in each port. I have one adult son that doesn’t like the sun, so stays in cabin or watches a film and we do quizzes, whilst my other son likes going to the gym and sunbathing on balcony or by the pool.

Original poster
holyguacamolebatman · 08/07/2023 13:43

Thanks for posting helpful suggestions - ideas I hadn't thought of, so appreciated 😀

OP posts:
FictionalCharacter · 08/07/2023 13:54

Mindymomo · 08/07/2023 06:55

I don’t know what your money situation is, but a cruise from Southampton to the Mediterranean could be a solution, no fly, but it’s something we’ve done as a family who all like different things and it ticks a lot of boxes. Cabins and ship are air conditioned and you can do as little or as much sightseeing in each port. I have one adult son that doesn’t like the sun, so stays in cabin or watches a film and we do quizzes, whilst my other son likes going to the gym and sunbathing on balcony or by the pool.

This sounds great, do you have a link?

UsingChangeofName · 08/07/2023 14:11

Could you or dh go with your dd, and the other with your ds ?

We've done this sometimes. I have no desire to wild camp on a mountain and dh has no desire to "fly and flop" as you put it, so sometimes one will go without the other, then we have a compromise break together sometimes too. All round, everyone gets part of what they want from different holidays. The dc have all been with each of us on different holidays and also with both of us on the compromise ones.

Mindymomo · 09/07/2023 15:45

@FictionalCharacter We have been with P&O a few times.

FictionalCharacter · 09/07/2023 18:41

Mindymomo · 09/07/2023 15:45

@FictionalCharacter We have been with P&O a few times.

Thank you!

BarbaraofSeville · 09/07/2023 20:00

Does DH want a holiday? Who's saying it's unfair, you or him?

If you and DD went for a few days 'fly and flop' somewhere sunny, DH and DS might enjoy staying at home, maybe taking some trips out to places they enjoy - museums, hiking, sporting events etc, whatever they're interested in? Or relax at home and eat pizza and binge box sets? Or go somewhere together where the weather isn't hot? They could go to Iceland, or a city break in Scandinavia or Scotland, or you could all go and DD could warm up in all the thermal spas?

Moredarkchocolateplease · 09/07/2023 20:03

We have a similar scenario but our ASD teen won't go away at all, now we leave DS at home with grandparents and we take DD away. Everyone happy.

Cas112 · 09/07/2023 20:06

BlanketSmoothies · 08/07/2023 06:46

In what way is your 19 year old son not responsible enough to be left home alone? He’s an adult.

Can you even read

cestlavielife · 09/07/2023 20:07

Use ds PIP or approach ss for a sitter/carer, to stay with him

pay a responsible young befriender adult to stay with ds

Or cruise as suggested

cestlavielife · 09/07/2023 20:08

lso your DD would have to be happy to share roomp with your DH.

Why? They can get two rooms?

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