Going on holiday without my children

[CatMum96]

My Aunt, my sister and I are going on a cruise next year. Between travel and the actual holiday I will be gone for 10 days.

My children will be 4 and 16 months.

I am very excited to go on holiday as this is the first time I will have done literally anything for myself since my eldest was born, but I'm battling a severe case of mum guilt.

The kids will be with their dad, and there is a huge support network of grandparents and great grandparents around which will be on hand as normal, and with school/nursery the kids will be busy. My husband has taken multiple long weekends away with zero guilt.

Has anyone ever been away from their kids for a similar time? I know realistically they're going to be absolutely fine. When I was 4 my mum went to New York for a week and I don't remember it, so It can't have been too traumatic for me, but my excitemet is really clouded by the guilt of going. I can't cancel, it would be wasting a lot of money. I guess I'm just looking for solidarity that others have done the same and the kids haven't forgotten them!

You will get some people on here saying you are out of order and they would never do it. But your kids will be fine, they are with their dad, its not like you have dumped them on people they don’t know very well!

My wife went away for a week. Our DD is 3. Was fine. Video calls left DD a bit upset especially as wife was quite remote with bad internet. Otherwise just the odd question about where mum was. DD was properly over the moon when my wife walked back in though! Really sweet. Have a great holiday!

They'll be fine. It's healthy for you to take time for yourself. And for them to develop resilience.

Enjoy your cruise. Its 10 days. They will be fine

I haven’t but I would if I had the opportunity! They’ll be fine.

With that kind of large, warm, extended family involvement, I'd day not to worry. They'll probably have a high old time being spoiled by the people who will be delighted to have that time with them.

It might be tough for you though!

ExDH and I went on our honeymoon when DD was almost 2. She has 1 week with my mum and 1 week with MIL. They all had a great time. She didn’t forget us!
She’s still got great relationships with both grannies.

I went on a ski trip when mine was around 10months. Great bonding time for him and his dad. I had an amazing time feeling care free with friends and got lots of sleep. I've gone away every year child free since then.

Yes I've gone on holiday without my kids quite few times for up to 2 weeks.

They've always been absolutely fine with grandparents.

Both DH and I also travel quite a bit for work and the kids are fine at home with either parent.

Now they are a bit older they go on holiday (scout camps, school trips) without us. We cope home alone.

Realistically it probably will be hard going for the 16m old but they are with their dad and presumably sticking to normal routine so they’ll just crack on and won’t forget you! 10 days would have been a tad too long for me and mine at that age though if I’m honest. My eldest often spends a week with grandparents during the school holidays and by the end of the week she does miss me (early on not really as too busy being spoiled!). You will have a lovely time and though and should absolutely take it as some self care but I think also be a bit realistic that your youngest may well be a bit unsettled for your husband and probably won’t get much out of video calls.

Babies don’t need to build resilience.

It won’t be tough for op, they wouldn’t consider it if it was.