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Holidays

Use our Travel forum for recommendations on everything from day trips to the best family-friendly holiday destinations.

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Original poster

15yo doesn't want to come on family holiday

23 replies

yoga4meinthemorning · 31/05/2023 19:22

Normally a fairly easy going non stroppy teen.

But really apathetic about this years holiday plans.

Says no to every suggestion.

Doesnt make any suggestion of their own.

Would be free to do their own thing if they want or join in.

Would go somewhere with a teen club but isn't keen on that. (Gets on well with peers at home)

Would have pool/activities but every fun thing is met with shrugs.

Have relatives they could stay with instead.

Should we just leave them?

OP posts:

Ragwort · 31/05/2023 19:24

Yes ... I never went on family holidays from about 12 ... never had an adverse effect of my relationship with my DPs ... and do now holiday with my elderly DM.

Spicypeanuts · 31/05/2023 19:25

Yes, let them stay with relatives. Pick a holiday and give them one more chance to go before you book. Enjoy your holiday!

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/05/2023 19:26

Would they enjoy it once they were there.

Holidays are when you can make real time for them. DD and I walked on the beach early every single day last time. We both get up early and DH doesn't on holiday. It was absolutely precious to spend time with her with nothing else to do!

Justmuddlingalong · 31/05/2023 19:32

Check relatives are in agreement.
One more offer of them coming.
If that's refused, book holiday and go and enjoy yourselves.

Northernsoullover · 31/05/2023 19:35

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/05/2023 19:26

Would they enjoy it once they were there.

Very nice for you but my then 16 year old was an absolute fun sponge on our last holiday together 😂. I swore never again we do get on and now he's 20 he's decided that he'll come this year. If I'm paying of course 🙄

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/05/2023 19:58

Well yes, @Northernsoullover mine is always stoic about things once she's doing them. I couldn't stand whining while I was trying to have a nice time!

Frenchfancy · 31/05/2023 20:00

No. Holidays are where you build bonds, where you have time for each other. I'm sure they will enjoy it once they are there.

Northernsoullover · 31/05/2023 20:36

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/05/2023 19:58

Well yes, @Northernsoullover mine is always stoic about things once she's doing them. I couldn't stand whining while I was trying to have a nice time!

Fortunately there was no whining. He just sat in a dark room watching the Big Bang Theory for most of the break. I envy you 😒

24KaratCucumber · 31/05/2023 20:42

I try to remember my teen years.

I hated holidays and made it my mission to make every one know I didn't want to go and once there I made sure they knew I was miserable. My holidays as a kid were spending two weeks with family near the sea. 2 weeks of being at my aunt's. Bored me to madness.

I'd recommend not forcing anyone to do what they don't want, encourage but never force. But that's just me, when I was forced as a kid I resented it.

Flowersun6 · 31/05/2023 20:42

Have you actually asked your teen if they are happy to be left with a relative if they don't come along?

Mumof1andacat · 31/05/2023 20:53

If they don't want to come, then they need to arrange to stay with a relative or friend (you can check the arrangements) or they come with you

AcrossthePond55 · 01/06/2023 00:54

Our sons stopped going on a lot family holidays when they were about that age, they'd rather hang out with their friends. So they stayed with my parents. Luckily my sons are 5 years apart so it was only 'one at a time'. But it was no problem. My mum, the DS and DH & I had a little 'meeting' and hammered out the ground rules. My mum was fully capable of keeping an eye on their grandson AND saying 'no' when she needed to. In turn DS was a help to her with my dad who had a neurological condition.

If he doesn't want to go, don't force him. If he has responsible relatives and he's the type to stay within the rules, let him stay there. Everyone will have a better time.

PurpleParrots · 01/06/2023 01:02

I paid for me DH, DS (15) and DS(13) to go abroad. DS ((15) was adamant he didn’t want to join us.

I left him home. After paying cancellation fee 😡

His friend kept him company. My parents called in at random times during the day and evening to make sure he was ok (and to make sure he wasn’t hosting raves! 🫣) I called him every night.

DS wasn’t the type to rally his friends round and trash the house.

All was well when we returned. The house was clean! 😳 Gobsmacked!

RedHinge · 01/06/2023 12:47

I wouldn't leave them.
Would she like to bring a friend?
I'd book something you know ticks all the boxes and don't even hint that she has an option of staying at home. She'll enjoy it when she's there.

lemonyellows · 01/06/2023 12:53

How about taking a friend on holiday too? Is that an option?

Runnersandtoms · 01/06/2023 12:55

If you can afford it and they have a friend who you know well and who wouldn't be troublesome then invite them along? In fact a friend's parent may be willing and able to pay for them or split it.

My daughter went on holiday with a friend at that age because her friend was grumpy about going on holiday with parents and much younger sibling. They were renting a house so it cost them nothing extra on the accommodation. We offered to pay for the flight but friend's parents were happy to pay to keep their teen happy.

I went on holiday every year with my friend as a teen because it was just her and her mum, and her mum got more of a break if she didn't have to entertain the teenager on her own. We were able to go off and swim/play tennis/go to the cinema etc, she could relax and read her book.

tatteddear · 01/06/2023 13:03

Yes just leave him. I was dragged on holiday with my parents that age and didn't want to go at all and it was excruciating.

HeddaGarbled · 01/06/2023 23:12

New York or somewhere else which will give them bragging rights.

mirmc · 01/06/2023 23:29

It can't be legal to leave a 15 year old home alone surely? Much as I'd be tempted...

BungleandGeorge · 01/06/2023 23:42

It’s pretty normal at that age but he’s too young to be left alone. So give him
the choice of holiday or relatives. He’s perhaps imagining partying at home?

stayathomer · 01/06/2023 23:56

We were dragged yearly and had fantastic times, dragged ds last year and he was fine, but we assumed it could be his last year. This year- thrilled and counting down! So who knows by next year but your son might have a fab time

Alaimo · 02/06/2023 03:50

I was a similar age when my parents decided that we'd go on a family holiday that I had no interest in. I was bored out of my mind and I'm sure I sucked all the fun out of it for my parents too.

A couple of other years (I think when I was 13 and 14) I went to summer camp for teenagers instead, which I absolutely loved: we did rock climbing, kayaking, surfing, mountainbiking, etcetera. It was usually 7 or 10 days long. I know Plas Y Brenin in Wales organises something similar, although they're a bit shorter I think.

Would your teen enjoy something like that? I think the Guardian had an article last year about 10 best summer camps for teenagers, that might have some ideas.

Funf · 02/06/2023 09:43

Take them on a cruise

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