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Original poster

Holiday - do I need fathers permission.

36 replies

cannaecookrisotto · 27/05/2023 20:09

Hi, question

I'm taking my 6 year old to Spain on 3rd June, her dad is staying at home to to work.

She has her dads surname, we aren't married although do live together.

Do I need to get written consent from him to take her?

I've got her Birth Certificate, do I need written consent as well??

OP posts:
babyboyjune23 · 27/05/2023 20:13

Is her father named on her birth certificate? If so, he has parental rights and responsibilities. You don't need written 'consent' as such, but you can't take her out of the country if he is in disagreement with this either. Is he objecting to the trip?

HicLocusEst · 27/05/2023 20:16

Yes, you can just download a template that he can put his details on. You probably won't be stopped and checked, but it's easy to just carry it. The details about what it needs to contain are on the govt website.

CurlewKate · 27/05/2023 20:19

One of the many reasons why children should have their mother's name.

Cantthinkofaname2203 · 27/05/2023 20:21

CurlewKate · 27/05/2023 20:19

One of the many reasons why children should have their mother's name.

It’s nothing to do with names.

you need consent of all with PR to take a child out of the country. It doesn’t matter whether you have the same or a different name.

PuttingDownRoots · 27/05/2023 20:21

You might be asked you might not. I have been asked twice. PILs were never asked. DH has never been asked.

DD2 was quizzed throughly when she was 9yo by French border control as we were leaving!

Ginger1982 · 27/05/2023 20:27

Technically yes, but it's unlikely you'll be queried. Take it just in case.

tribpot · 27/05/2023 20:32

I've been asked almost every time I've re-entered the country with DS. I have always carried a permission letter from DH, never been asked for it! I'm always asked for the birth certificate. DS turns 18 next month and, if it were up to me, we'd be leaving the country just so we could come back into it and I could not be questioned about our relationship! (DS does not think this would be such a fun way to spend his birthday).

I would carry the letter just as a backup. You are more likely to be stopped because your surname is different from your DD but @Cantthinkofaname2203 is right, technically it isn't to do with different surnames. Everyone should carry the permission letter if travelling without everyone with PR for the child, unless a child arrangement order is in place.

Original poster
cannaecookrisotto · 27/05/2023 21:19

Thanks everyone!

I'll take it just in case, knowing my luck I'll get asked 😂.

I did Google but a lot of the information I could find was about court orders and such and I wasn't sure if it only applied to parents that had separated.

I'll download that template, very useful thank you all.

OP posts:
Original poster
cannaecookrisotto · 27/05/2023 21:21

babyboyjune23 · 27/05/2023 20:13

Is her father named on her birth certificate? If so, he has parental rights and responsibilities. You don't need written 'consent' as such, but you can't take her out of the country if he is in disagreement with this either. Is he objecting to the trip?

He's not objecting to the trip (although he is grumbling that he has to take us to the airport at 3am when he's being left at home 😂).

I'll take a letter just in case.

OP posts:
HicLocusEst · 27/05/2023 21:26

As above, it's nothing to do with surnames, it's to do with preventing parental abduction of minors cross border. Govt link above gives all necessary details for leaving the UK without the other parent, though you should make sure the other country accepts a non notarised letter of consent. (Most EU countries are fine with that- notorious countries which insist on properly witnessed consent letters include the US and Canada)

Have a lovely time!

Skyeheather · 27/05/2023 23:21

If you were travelling to the US, your letter would have to be witnessed and signed by a solicitor, otherwise you could have just written the letter yourself and signed it with any signature you like. How would immigration know your OH's signature?

Unless your child is in danger or has a court order - if your child's DF called the police to say that you have taken DD abroad they will say it's a civil matter and nothing to do with them. You both have 50/50 parental rights so you are both entitled to take DD abroad.

Personally I would just take the full birth certificate to show you are the child's parent. Assuming you and the father live together, immigration would just have to make a quick call to your OH to confirm everything is okay.

HicLocusEst · 28/05/2023 13:09

Skyeheather · 27/05/2023 23:21

If you were travelling to the US, your letter would have to be witnessed and signed by a solicitor, otherwise you could have just written the letter yourself and signed it with any signature you like. How would immigration know your OH's signature?

Unless your child is in danger or has a court order - if your child's DF called the police to say that you have taken DD abroad they will say it's a civil matter and nothing to do with them. You both have 50/50 parental rights so you are both entitled to take DD abroad.

Personally I would just take the full birth certificate to show you are the child's parent. Assuming you and the father live together, immigration would just have to make a quick call to your OH to confirm everything is okay.

The details on what the OP (and anyone else) leaving the UK without the other parent needs to show are on the govt link.

HicLocusEst · 28/05/2023 13:10

PS that's not true that the police would say it's a civil matter, as it isn't. It's child abduction and very much a criminal matter and would be handled as such by the police and the UK immigration service.

Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday · 28/05/2023 13:16

I’ve never ever been asked for anything… Europe/US/Caribbean - different surname, and I now have a different surname to the one on her birth cert too as I remarried

Bouledeneige · 28/05/2023 13:32

From when my DC were 5 and 7 I took them away all over the world without any written permission from their father - we don't share a surname. They are now in their 20s. Only once a border official said to my son who is this lady and he said 'My Mum.'

But rules might have changed I guess.

OhBling · 28/05/2023 13:46

You'll note that the info re both parents having to give permission doesn't say what that looks like. Having recently travelled alone with my DC, it's actually ridiculous becuase the ONLY time we ever get asked to prove anything is on the way back into the UK, all traveling on UK passports.

Having said that, I always travel with the birth certificate in case. I have been asked for it a few times but never for proof that DH gave permission.

HicLocusEst · 28/05/2023 17:25

Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday · 28/05/2023 13:16

I’ve never ever been asked for anything… Europe/US/Caribbean - different surname, and I now have a different surname to the one on her birth cert too as I remarried

As above, it's nothing to do with surnames, but to do with a minor leaving the country without both parents.

HicLocusEst · 28/05/2023 17:26

OhBling · 28/05/2023 13:46

You'll note that the info re both parents having to give permission doesn't say what that looks like. Having recently travelled alone with my DC, it's actually ridiculous becuase the ONLY time we ever get asked to prove anything is on the way back into the UK, all traveling on UK passports.

Having said that, I always travel with the birth certificate in case. I have been asked for it a few times but never for proof that DH gave permission.

That's because there is no border control on exit from the UK. Your documents have already been checked at the API stage.

HicLocusEst · 28/05/2023 17:29

Bouledeneige · 28/05/2023 13:32

From when my DC were 5 and 7 I took them away all over the world without any written permission from their father - we don't share a surname. They are now in their 20s. Only once a border official said to my son who is this lady and he said 'My Mum.'

But rules might have changed I guess.

Not changed and not rules. Just guidelines and advice in order to stop cross border trafficking and abduction of minors.
As far as the UK is concerned only a sampling of obviously not both parents + minor parties are checked.
You can however be assured that if a lone male is travelling with a child he will be stopped and asked for proof of his relationship to the child, and the mother's consent.
Tbh, it would make life easier if there were actual legislation like in the States. Things would be a lot clearer for everyone.

OhBling · 28/05/2023 17:29

HicLocusEst · 28/05/2023 17:26

That's because there is no border control on exit from the UK. Your documents have already been checked at the API stage.

Show quote history

My point is that as a way to prevent kidnapping, checking I have the right to travel with my child when I'm already on my way back is a bit ridiculous....!

tribpot · 28/05/2023 17:32

Yep - tough on that well-known crime of British citizens kidnapping other British citizens into the UK. We can all sleep easy tonight.

Squidger45 · 28/05/2023 17:33

CurlewKate · 27/05/2023 20:19

One of the many reasons why children should have their mother's name.

And if the dad wanted to take said child on holiday..? Works both ways.

HicLocusEst · 28/05/2023 18:49

OhBling · 28/05/2023 17:29

My point is that as a way to prevent kidnapping, checking I have the right to travel with my child when I'm already on my way back is a bit ridiculous....!

Show quote history

Your passport and that of the child have already been checked and flagged if necessary at API stage. Children's passports contain details about the parents so cross-referencing is easy.
Other countries may well check on entry. It's obviously very unlikely that a child flying to Tenerife (for example) is being abducted, but there's always a chance. It happens more than you'd imagine in cases of acrimonious divorces/separation.

HicLocusEst · 28/05/2023 18:50

tribpot · 28/05/2023 17:32

Yep - tough on that well-known crime of British citizens kidnapping other British citizens into the UK. We can all sleep easy tonight.

See above. You've been checked without knowing it. 👀