Flying to Canada in September and I'm already dreading it...

[Callisto]

I hate flying and would happily never fly again if boats were a bit faster. My partner and I are taking dd on a 9 and a half hour flight to Canada, leaving at 10.15am. I need to stay fairly sharp to keep DD occupied but I don't want my nerves to affect her too. Please can any of you suggest something to keep me relatively calm without knocking me out?

Try Bachs flower rescue remedy from health shops like Holland & Barrett. DH uses it for his nervius pupils taking their driving test and it really seems to help them.

A combination of low-dose diazepam and beta-blockers calms me down enough to get on the plane. Makes me a little sleepy but I cope (or rather DH copes with the kids). Have to do serious talking to myself all the way, though, to stop me flinging open the door to the cockpit and demanding they land the plane now this instant. And I seem to cry at some point every flight.

Longer flights better than shorter flights IMO as I can't stay that sickeningly scared for 10 hours.

My kids just know that mummy is a nutter and they ignore me. They love flying - mind you, so did I until I had children.

You need to address the root causes of your anxiety. What's causing this panic to arise; what are you afraid of with regards to flying?. Do you feel this nervous when driving for instance?.

Have you considered doing a fear of flying course?. Lots of people do these and this may help you conquer your fears.

It is about not being in control of my own safety. I'm not a control freak and am a reasonable car passenger, but I hate flying because if something happens I'm f**ed no matter what I do. I also hate not being able to see where I'm going and it is tied in with a fear of heights. I'm actually fairly level-headed and not half as neurotic as this post makes me seem.

The Bach's remedy sounds good - I shall get some thanks.

Also reasonable car driver I should add.

Same fear here, Callisto. Hate the fact I can't just get off if I want to.

Perhaps should try Bach's rather than just poohpoohing every suggestion that DH makes for holidays abroad...

I am already having dreams about my flight to florida in 12 weeks - I have flown loads of times but never with my children and I am inwardly panic-stricken but I am trying to ignore it or we'll never go anywhere.

I will be reading this thread with interest...

Once sat next to an ex-pilot when flying back from the Canaries who quickly spotted my fear of flying and talked calmly to me the whole way about how flying works and pilots are trained and how safe it was. It was a fantastic distraction for that flight, and very kind of him (I should put it on the random acts of kindness thread).

Nowdays I try distracting myself, calming breathing and talking sensibly to myself about how safe everything is. And I also do quite a lot of trying to keep the plane in the air by sheer willpower. So far it has worked.

I'm having hypnotherapy to try to conquer my fear of flying. Only just started, so early days. Hope you find something that will help - I've heard that beta blockers can help calm some of the fear, as procrastinatingparent says.

JackieNo - tell me how it goes!

Betablockers, as I understand them, don't calm you down but reduce some of the physical symptoms of fear (racing heart, etc). Neither drug worked very well for me on its own but were more effective together. Actually, it may well have had a placebo effect but that's fine with me too.

I'll try to report back - could be a while though, as it's not an instant thing, apparently. I don't think I'll ever be happy to fly, but if I can do it relatively calmly without tears and without desperately wanting to throw myself face downwards in the aisle on take off ( - though I've never actually done it, you understand), then I'll be satisfied.

Callisto

My mum cried on a plane the last time she flew back from the Canary Islands. Her panic attacks on aircraft have become worse over recent years.

I don't think you're neurotic at all - you're having panic attacks borne out of anxiety and many people (like my Mum) suffer like this. I think a fear of flying course would help you (along with some Bachs rescue remedy). Also see if you can find a course of therapy treatment that will deal with your phobia of heights.

Thanks Atilla.

You say you have a problem with not being in control of the plane and therefore your own safety but try and acknowledge that in this instance there are people who are far more qualified than you to look after your own safety. I'm sure the other passengers would also prefer the pilots to be in control rather than you too!
You are doing brilliantly to be going at all. I used to be an air hostess and remember once a couple in tears because the man could not bring himself to get on the plane and the woman was desperate to see her grandchildren who lived in America.
Do not under any circumstances have dutch courage, might seem like a good idea but the Bach's is a much better bet. Let the hosties know you are nervous and they should look after you. You can do this x