4 seats in the middle or 2 + 2 at the back to SA?

[4everhopeful]

Going to South Africa on BA in October, DD and DS (13 & 10) autistic/adhd.. DH and I usually do 3 plus aisle seat on short haul.. Really in a dilemma do we go for the 4 in the middle, or apparently they have 2 + 2 right at the back. DD gets self conscious around people, DS very fidgety and anxious. Part of me really wants the 4 of us all together in the middle row, it's how we sit on a 3-3 (albeit the aisle), but feel a 3-4-3 plane might make us feel a bit exposed. The usual flights we've always had DD has the window seat so she's tucked in her own little private space. It's an 11 hour flight. Longest they've done is 4 hours. DD said she'd be happy to do the 4 in the middle, but she's never been on a larger plane. I've now overthought so much I don't know what to do. Another option is 3, and DH across the aisle as we usually do, but 11 hours is a bit much, and primarily I think the seats are staggered so we wouldn't be directly across?
Any suggestions/experience/preference appreciated please?!

I’d do the 4 in the middle - put the children in the middle and you and DH take the two aisle seats – you are effectively blocking the children in so they can fidget all they want without disturbing any other passengers, and they have easy access to both of you. It would be far more “together” for you all

This ^

Oops, posted too soon

Once you are in the air,the arm rests can be folder up and your DC Chan stretch out along the seats. Ideal.

I fly this route often on BA with my 2 kids and DH. I always go for 3 and then 1 across the aisle. It’s just easier managing bags etc as you are all together
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If you go middle 4 no one gets the windows which the kids like and you’ll be juggling bags across 2 aisles and overhead lockers.
Kids take it in turns to have the window seat or middle and DH and I both get aisle seats.

The seats are only a tiny bit staggered, I’ve never really noticed.

I recently flew long haul for the first time with two DDs (10 and 8) and DH. We did 2+2 on the way out and 4 in the middle on the way back.

I preferred the 2+2. Both DDs had a window seat and it felt less crowded. The feeling of having more space far outweighed the convenience of being in the same row for me. It also helped keep the girls calm. DD2 was very nervous about the flight - she struggles with anxiety and can lash out at her sister when anxious. It meant I could keep DD2 quiet and calm and shield her a bit from the rest of the plane.

However, I would recommend you sit in the back row of seats if you go 2+2. If DH or oldest DD tapped me on the head to get my attention one more time, I was going to loose it!

Thank you so much for your responses it's great to hear other experiences and perspectives! Especially interesting @MsNorris it's a route you're familiar with re the not hugely staggered seats? Are BA flights to SA usually full?
Also @dylanthedragon that you'd had both but choose 2+2... @MsNorris obviously another vote from you.

@FinallyHere and @LucyFox this is still swaying me, we are very much a 4, this is also a bit of a once in a lifetime trip on safari.. Both kids can need me equally.. But also we are all pretty tall, DD same height as me 5ft8, DH large built, and a night flight so hoping majority will be spent asleep on each other... DH a snorer so if we did go 3 and aisle he has to sit next to a stranger for 11 hrs....

Oh dear I'm still a bit confused!

Personally I’d avoid 2+2 at the back as those seats are often near the galley and loos. So you get more disruption and sometimes queues of people beside you.

Good noise cancelling headphones and an iPad with movies are a great benefit as you can create your own little world and close out much of the noise.

Hi yes sorry this is a very popular route and the flights are always full, at most you get the occasional 1 random empty seat but even this is quite rare.
Agree on the 2+2 seats they’ll be at the back where the plane narrows and right next to the toilets, you’ll also get all your food and drinks last. They also don’t recline that well and you’ll probably be last off the plane as they connect a walkway to the middle section only.
The queues through immigration can be very long so a quick march of the plane is a good idea. Sit as far forward as you can.

@4everhopeful

apparently they have 2 + 2 right at the back

Literally right at the back could be problematic but it really depends on the aircraft type and the potential seat configuration TBH.

I any event I agree with a lot of @MsNorris has posted:

You could be immediately forward to some of the rear toilets (so you might be disturbed by those waiting for the loo), might be an issue with lack of seat recline - certainly is on some shorthaul types, so do check that.

Not sure if BA have anything with a galley in the rear door area anymore (some of the old 777s did), if that's the case on your flight there's a potential noise issue.

In any event there might be a cross aisle behind you, between the two rear doors, which can be a bit of a congregating place for those that want to stretch their legs....

On 3 3 planes we always did window middle and then window middle behind.

When we went on safari to SA when DDs were 7 and 13 we did 4 in the middle section. As a PP said it mean on the overnight the DDs were sandwiched safely between us. Also meant anyone needing the loo only disturbed our own family group and we weren't disturbed by anyone else.

I was going to say 4 in a row but now I think about it I would do 3 + 1. 11 hours next to a stranger as an adult isn’t too bad really, and this way you a get a window and both children tucked away.

I don’t like the back of a plane on long flights as the food and drink is so late getting you - and sometimes the best dishes are all gone. Plus the toilet queues can be massive and I find it irritating when people are queuing next to me!

I haven’t done this flight, but done London to Australia a lot. Top tip is to get on as early as you can so you get the locker space - on these massive planes they fill so quickly and the family next to me last month had to put all their bags in a whole different section of the plane: such a pain!

From my experience of travelling with autistic ds I'd do 2+2.

He is much better with a window seat as it gives a feeling of more space.

I also always get the bulkhead seats so no one is behind us.

I prefer 2+2 to give both DC a bit of space by the window but I wouldn't do it on the back row if it means you're right by the loo. Everyone waiting for the loo, standing there trying to juggle a toddler or just stretching their legs will end up looking at you as there's nothing else to do.
So I'd do the middle row of 4 with the DC in the middle.

I’m your circumstances I’d go for four in the middle.

No, can't stand toilet smells at the back. Definitely do the 4 in the middle.

Thank you so much everyone.... I feel rude not to thank each of you personally as you've all raised such good points! The majority agreement and advice re the back of the plane, toilet queues and congregating of people, last to get food, and last off the plane, has swayed us to go for the 4 I think!

I've showed the whole thread to DH who said well that's his mind made up! 4 in the middle it is!
I've also WhatsApped the link to DD upstairs lol! Waiting on her response! 😁

The idea of us with them safely sandwiched between us as it's a nightflight is also selling it, if it was a day flight it maybe different. I will let BA know the kids are ASD/special assistance which I did for Majorca last year, it was just so the DC didn't have to wear masks, but ended up that we had priority boarding and exit, and fast track through immigration which was actually such a blessing as DS was just wired and needing to release energy after being cooped up which was causing DD painstaking mortification!

Wow good old mumsnet always pulls it out the bag! Thank you so much! Mad to think I joined here 14yrs ago on miscarriage forums and here I am talking about teen family holidays! Bloody love it! 😍

Hiya
first of all wow you’re going to have an amazing time!!!
we ( family of 3) went to Joburg with BA in feb half term and ended up in the 4 at the very back and it was awful- felt very claustrophobic. If you haven’t already, I’d seriously consider a 3 plus 1,
that way the kids are still contained ( I mean that in a nice way as in they feel safe) but you have a bit more room.
i used to work for BA and these flights are always full. As a pp said, try to get on early so you can get bags in lockers- part of our issue was that we didn’t so had bags under the seats as well which didn’t help!!!

I'd do 2 + 2 with the children next to the windows, easier for you and dh to communicate then opposite ends of middle row, all together to load / unload cabin bags and feels more private.

I often go away with my 3 children, mum and sister, we always choose 3 + 3 or 2 + 2 + 2

Having said that, we don't sit at the back, having people queuing for the toilet would be annoying and certainly going to happen a lot on an 11 hour flight.
So maybe 4 in the middle. Definitely tell them about your dc's ASD to get early boarding as it will make the loading / unloading cabin bags in different aisle's much easier.