Taking a DC’s friend away

[Sunsetintheeast]

What is the form on costs? Is it a case of we asked so we pay? What do people think?

When I was a teen we took my friend abroad for 2 weeks. My parents paid for everything but friends parents provided some spending money for her.

They also reciprocated and I went with them abroad for 2 weeks and same they paid for the holiday and all food/ activities etc and I had my own spending money.

Yes, if your asking then ur paying imo.

When we did it we asked and we paid for everything.

I took a friend of DD away once, I paid. And when I say I paid, I paid for everything! They didn't even give their kid spending money - it was a big trip to London, show and tourist things included. I had no problem paying for it as I do think if you invite you should pay, but I didn't expect she would not have any spending money at all. Didn't get a thank you from the parents for it either. She was 15 at the time! Just make sure you have it clear from the start.

I think you can ask whatever you want as long as you are very clear about it. Generally when we've taken kids with us we've paid for everything but there is nothing wrong in asking for a contribution as long as it's done at the time of the invite. You can't invite them and then say "oh, by the way you need to pay"

Say you were going skiing for example, I don't think there would be anything wrong with asking for a friend to pay for their own lift pass.
When my friends have been invited away by other families I've always offered to pay. I've paid for the costs of my kids flights and a contribution to food.

I think you need to expect to pay; DD went on UK holiday with a friend and we asked about money and they said don’t worry but we gave £100 to parents to contribute to days out and food and gave DD spending money.
We were happy to do that but it’d put us in a difficult position if we didn’t have the money or if by paying that we couldn’t go on a family holiday ourselves

If you invite them then you pay for them. I agree that the parents should provide spending money though. Also as a parent I’ll always at least offer to pay when someone’s taken my kids away, even if I know they’ll refuse to take it. I’ll always buy them a gift after to say thank you

We took DC’s friend on several UK self catering breaks. We paid for everything accommodation and food wise and asked parents to provide some spending money. We also suggested that friend brought some familiar food and snacks such as favourite breakfast cereal, crisps , drinks etc so they always had ‘go to’ food that they felt comfortable just to go and help themselves to.

I think you need to be clear about costs upfront, however you decide to do it.

When we did, we asked them to provide flights (we booked, they paid us back) insurance and spending money.

UK we pay. When going abroad the invited teenager pays own flight. We've checked with parent first that it's affordable for them before asking child.

Depends what you want to happen. You can either just ask and then they may offer to pay or provide spending money or they may not.
Or you can ask, “we’d like to ask your child to come on holiday, we’d need a contribution of xx to cover yy, let me know if that works for you”.

I would expect the person asking to pay for everything bar spending money. This is what we have done but you need to ask asap if you have different expectations as the other parents may need to budget etc

Thanks all. It’s what I would anticipate, but didn’t want to seem as if we were being a bit OTT by doing it all.