Am i selfish

[Confusedmother]

Hi all I'm new here. Wanted an opinion and please don't judge me.
I have three adult children, 24,23 and 19. Two have special needs. Anyway my middle child is my daughter, she doesn't have special needs but was in hospital for many years due to an awful rare illness. She is now been improving, earlier this year my own mother passed away and it hit her how much time she wants to spend with me. So we have decided to go on holiday together just the two of us. Should I feel guilty about not taking the other two as I have been told I should. My other two have had many experiences with my husband and I whilst my daughter was in hospital. For clarification she was in hospital for over 6 years. I don't know what to do. Thanks for reading.

No, don’t feel guilty.
I wish my kids would want to go on holiday with me ! Treasure it.
And my DH recently took my DS abroad for a sport thing. The others weren’t bothered.

I am sure it will all pan out over the years.

Don't they say, in treating your children fairly, it doesn't mean treating them the same.

makes sense.

Hope you have a fabulous time.

No. I am currently away with my parents and my daughter. My brother has to work and didn't come. Equally, my parents took my brother on holiday several times without me. We're all adults (except my daughter).

Who’s telling you to take the others?! Just take her. She missed out for a long time so it’s perfectly reasonable to do this just for her. Have a lovely time.

Do not feel guilty. Your DD deserves time with you. And I suspect it will do you both the world of good after the difficult times you've had.

Your other 2 will get their chance to spend on one one time with you. But it's not about them right now. Now is the time to be with your DD. I'm sure you'll have a fabulous time and create many memories. Enjoy the time.

Is your daughter happy to go with just the two of you? Are the other two taken care of in your absence (not sure how much care they normally need and how much of it you normally do)? If so, then you should not feel guilty.

If it's one or both of your other children complaining, I would listen to them just to understand - do they want to go on this trip? A different trip? Something else? It's hard to say because of the special needs factor, but you know their needs - if they're dependent on you and can't function as adults and want to travel with you, perhaps consider planning something appropriate with them at another time if it doesn't make sense for them to come on this trip.

If it's anyone else complaining, ignore them.

Thanks everyone I feel much better, as for my other two I have spoken to them in a way they can understand, my youngest understood in the best way and said its only fair as he has has had many times with me one to one and my eldest much more severe just said as long as I get to spend time with you it's okay. The holiday is only for a few days and my husband is with them(stepdad) they also have support from their mentors and have time with them and their support staff, it was my daughters idea as she wanted to make up for time she had lost. So I'm hoping that they are okay and don't suddenly start getting agitated just before I go. Crossed fingers.

Your meeting a need she has expressed don't ever feel guitly in meeting a childs need

It sounds as if the two of you deserve a lovely break together. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy x