Holiday abroad in 3 weeks, severe buyer’s remorse

[whataboutbob]

This is very much a first world problem so apologies in advance. We are due to go to northern Spain in 3 weeks. My DSs are 15 and 19 so we feel it might be the last holiday we go on as a family, for a while at least. So back in the depths of winter we decided on a 2 week roadtrip staying in about 5 different places. What with covid, airline issues ( we’re flying easyJet) and the cost ( the cost!) I’m really apprehensive now. Last year we went nowhere , 2 previous years we had a week in Wales, so relatively cheap. Now I’m paying hundreds of pounds for each day’s accomodation, £600 for a car for one week ( other week we’ll be using public transport) and I’m worried it won’t be worth it. Can’t stop thinking the boys will complain about one thing or another and I’ll be losing my rag. Anyone else feeling the same?

Can you not find a hotel you can stay in for the whole time you're away? Probably be a lot cheaper to just stay in one hotel and ditch the car idea?

I had such anxiety before our holiday this year, worrying about money, what our DS would be like, have we done the right thing etc but we had the best holiday

It'll be fine! You're just having holiday nerves. This sounds like a brilliant holiday to do with kids the age yours are (mine are the same ages), and I always think if you are staying in multiple places it spreads the risk if one of them is crap!

I think we all put ourselves under pressure for everything on holiday to be perfect - every meal has to be wonderful, every day has to be memorable - and that's even worse if you're the one that has organised it all, and then there's the "last family holiday" thing on top.

Sounds like you spent time thinking about what would work for everyone, so just roll with it - and don't be afraid to adjust the itinerary, leave somewhere earlier if it's not great, stay longer if it is...

The boys are old enough to go off together and explore, so they can find their own entertainment at least some of the time...which should hopefully mean you can open a cool bottle of something, put your feet up and just chill !

Did you ask the kids if they wanted a road trip? I'd have hated being stuck in a car when I was a kid. You're tuck wth it now so make the most of it. Give the kids a couple of days where they pick what they want to do, and don't complain bout it.

Thank you all for being kind. I do have anxiety about it because I have organised everything and so if I get complaints, beyond a certain level, I might blow a gasket ( I know myself). DSs have expressed shock it’s 2 weeks not one as I think they will miss their mates and in DS2s case, his girlfriend. I like the idea of giving them some euros and letting them hit the tapas bars alone while DH and I stay in and chill!
Car was needed to access places like a national park and more remote beaches, but I’m shocked at the price and that is before petrol 😱.
Next year I’d like to book one single hotel somewhere , for one week, they can come if they like or stay home otherwise.

It will be amazing!

the boys will remember this for ever - driving through Spain/

when I was a kid we did a mixture of the normal package holidays and then driving and camping though France. I loved the French holiday: we got to see how real people live - away from the touristy areas.

they have a life full of package holidays ahead of them. This one will be special

Beaches are bloody amazing in that part of Spain and the food is excellent too in San Sebastián/Bilbao. The Picos de Europa are stunning too. As long as you don’t rush about trying to do 10000 things and expecting it all to be perfect, I think it could be great. Personally, sounds much more of an adventure than sitting in some bland hotel for days on end.

When I was 15we did a driving tour of Italian my sis was 9

we enjoyed this holiday more than Florida which didn’t go down well with our parents when we told them this as adults haha

we ended in Rome for 4 nights which was also amazing
lots of great food beautiful countryside views vineyard tours lovely villages etc we had a great ‘driving soundtrack’ that me and my sister made it was mostly ministry of sound haha but it was just amazing
I was obv a bit younger than your oldest son but great memories!

I'm feeling the same about an October half term trip to Lanzarote with DS 16 and his pal - booked before they discovered girls and alcohol.

It will be grand OP. Maybe let everyone have one groan a day about something. Don't expect the teens to spend too much time with you. Drink lots.

They are teens so there will be moaning by default, but from experience it's how you deal with it that matters. Teens are very similar to toddlers when travelling so it's all about preparation and managing the situation.

Firstly get the data/wifi sorted so they can easily keep contact with friends. Make sure they've got headphones, portable chargers and download music movies and TV shows for the car drives. Fill the car with snacks and drinks so they can help themselves at all times.

Let them make some decisions about activities, where to eat etc. Get them researching and ask them to come up with ideas.

If they start complaining, you can either let them drag you down or you can stay positive and take what you can from each experience, so the good stuff overrides all the crap.

Make some time when they can do stuff without you, if you're out for a day plonk them on the beach or wherever and go off for a walk or a drink with dh.

We applied all these things on a recent trip with our ultra moaning dd16. Dh and I surprised ourselves by how calm we were when she started as we just simply refused to let her moods spoil our much longed for trip. We actually had an amazing time with so many high points and most of the time she was great company - as long as she had data and food 😆

Present it right and you'll all have a great time.

"Boys, this is not a beach and clubbing holiday. It's an adventure, for explorers, independent travellers tasting a new country and open to new experiences. NOTHING LIKE boring old spoon fed package holiday lemmings.

This is your trial training for independent parentfree travel in a few years time. "

Get them some basic language CDs to play in the car; once in Spain let them buy some Spanish music. Challenge them to eat a new food every day.

It sounds a great holiday. You are just overthinking
Enjoy!

No need to try and teach them to be dicks about other peoples perfectly normal holidays.
Won't work anyway,since they aren't five.

It sounds great, I'm jealous. We were going to do something similar, but had some unexpected bills and now looking at a week camping somewhere in England instead.

That is such a beautiful part of the world! You’ll have a ball and the boys shouldn’t get bored because you’ll be doing different things

get them to create a road trip playlist, get them to look at trip adviser for fun activities along the way and see if you can manage to build some in. Maybe they can can choose an activity each for each week?

I think it's the sort of holiday that sounds a bit stressful and tiring on paper but which will be absolutely amazing when you're doing it!

We've done similar holidays in the past and they've always loved it.
Your best bet is to have a good talk with them before you go. Tell them how nervous you are, how much effort you've put into planning and ask for their understanding as well as suggestions. And be prepared to be flexible. If everyone decides after a big day out that today is pool day, go for it.

Could also get them into the whole idea with some guide books ( used on Amazon so cheap) and ask them to do a bit of research for you. Rough Guide was always useful for sightseeing and eateries and music. See if they might like to make a video travel diary, where even the mishaps become funny.

You could lose the car and get trains, we did Malaga Airport then train to Seville, Cordoba and Granada (the Al Hambra is unmissable) Could relax on the train. We've also got trains to big centres from the country side eg Barcelona, as it was much quicker. Keep the costs down with breakfast (coffee in cafe) pastries from the bakers, mid-day picnics and cold boxes for water etc. Eat in sometimes but have ice cream for dessert in town.

The most annoying thing was that at first they wouldn't get up in the morning and this meant that the option of doing interesting things got reduced as time marched on. No point driving a long way to a beach for just two hours. If yours are like that I'd prescribe complete bed rest the day before hols. Have fun!

We do slightly more "unusual" holidays than a lot of people. I asked DD 17 yesterday if she was happy with our plans or whether she would rather do a couple of weeks in an Insta worthy 5 star AI hotel instead.
She said no "loads of people do that" apparently
So you might be surprised. I think as long as you adapt to doing things Spanish style and not get too anxious about a timetable it should be good fun

Thanks again everyone especially @DuckbilledSplatterPuff for the very productive ideas. I’ll order a used northern Spain guide, great idea. I’ll also have a sit down chat with them this weekend to set expectations, DH will be away so I can control the narrative 😉. We can’t lose the car though but we’re only hiring for half the holidays, in 1st half we’ll take public transport to get around.
As PPs said, so true, food and data are essential to teenagers. I hate distress purchases abroad so I’ll also stock up on headphones here before we go. Buying lunch in bakeries is a good money saving idea- thanks again everyone.
And @CupidStunt22 I agree, a single hotel holiday / package is totally normal and in some cases great.

@rookiemere fingers crossed for your lanzarote holiday in October. Expect a lot of late mornings, giggling for no obvious ( to you) reasons and conversations you can’t quite follow!

Thanks @whataboutbob glad it was useful. I forgot to mention www.timeout.com/spain has various cities and often mentions live music bars which they might like. I'm jealous now.

Thank you @whataboutbob and you have a great holiday too.

I've deliberately booked half board at a hotel with a decent gym, so I expect we'll mostly see them at dinner time . I think the good news is that DS is vaguely excited about going, even if we don't see much of him whilst we're there.

All my best trips have been road trips. The best bit is no matter how “ quirky” the place or hotel or restaurant you are only there a night. This means a) it doesn’t matter because you’ll be gone soon so you just enjoy it for what it is, even if it’s a so bad it’s good story and b) it’s less stressful because there’s no expectations and you do what you want. Tired and you stop early. Hungry, the same.
There’s none of that your turn to get water, bread, wine from the village everyday and having to go with what everyone else wants to do that day.

Sounds amazing I'd love to do this. Get the kids working out what they want to do from the guide book or research online for somewhere to eat or go out in your next stopover.

Also sounds like you have had frugal holidays so you deserve to splash out.

I don't know if Northern Spain is as cheap as Northern Portugal but if it is you're going to be pleasantly surprised at the quality of food and drink you can get for your money. Better value than the UK.

Take turns choosing what you’ll do in each place, what and or where you’ll eat and let them lay in on days you don’t have to be out of your hotel early.