Advice needed please re moving to new area-terrified!

[Ozziesmom]

Hi everyone
having lived apart from hubby for 2 years (he Leeds me Essex) due to work. Me and 7mo ds have decided to move nearer daddy.
Trouble is all of my family and support networks are here in Essex and I am terrified of starting afresh in a new area so far away from home friends and family.

Does anyone have any tips to help make this a little easier? I am scared and v daunted.

Also we are looking at Wakefield area, does anyone know of a nice area around there which we could look to rent? We would love to be rural but not too far from A1.
thanks

hello ozziesmom!
i moved from yorkshire with my son to be with my (now) DH, and knew no-one, and i am a big family person, the whole of my family are withing 20/30 mins of each other - it was terrifying! i worked full time so it took me ages to make friends, and then we moved again. the way i approached it was to try things, even thought some sounded awful. so i went to an amateur dramatic society, which turned out to be ace, and i made lots of friends, and i tried a rotaract club, which was dreadful! also i rang home every monday eve, no more and no less, which helped as otherwise i would have been too worked up! and lastly, whenever any of my friends or my sister comes to visit, we go to the pub and chat to any other women our age. also, i would hope that the good old yorkshire neighbours will be round to chat to you soon after you arrive! fingers crossed for you well done for taking such a brave step xxx

Will you be working as well? If not, lots of daytime stuff for mothers? local play places, toddler groups can be ok. NCT coffee groups? MNers meet ups?
And remember, moving is never irreversible. Hope it goes well though. good luck.

Hi Peaches, i live in dews near leeds and wakey, its friendly nough so don't worry! Clayton west area is nice and near to m1? When are you moving? Is dh aware og=f how worried you are? Have a chat with dh and try to pin down where you are moving to so we cab=n give you suggestions for groups and stuff! Doyou drive?

Not me, tis Ozziesmum who's moving

Oddly, have never been to Wakefield. Went to uni in Leeds though and hail from Oldham orginally. Fab part of the world

Ha ha ha now ozziesmum thinks she's moving to a village of idiots! Duh! Sorry ozziesmum, lets try that again! As per prvious post but about you, not peachesmclean!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its still a nice area for you too, though, peaches!!!!!

Hi,

I live in Barnsley but am from Wakefield (and work there now) its a lovely place . If you want there's a thread in Meet ups (Barnsley, Wakefield, Huddersfield) where there's plenty of people who can offer advice and they are very friendly

am currently studying (sponsered thro my workplace) so plan to come back to essex for a couple of days a week with ds until studies complete. Not sure when moving, house sold yesterday (hence me freaking out!) so need to find somewhere to rent and yes I drive said.I've had a little pnd and do find it hard being on my own here despite family and friends being great. Ds and I need to be with dh. Am quite shy so nervous of meeting new people and of appearing desperate!

thanks phoenix will give that a go once i've settled, do you know of any nice villages near Wakefield? And as for you other crazy northern lot.... you TRYING to scare me off lol!

netherton in wakefield is a lovely village to live in

Hi Ozziesmom. I moved from SE London to Wakefield in July. Although it is hard being away from my parents, it is much nicer. We live in a nice house instead of a flat are generally much happier. I have met some really nice people up here too - it seems easier to make friends because people are more laid back.
We are renting too at the mo. Where we live, there are loads of empty houses up for rent. Some of them are really nice and yet have been empty for months, some even a year! So don't be afraid to haggle over rent.

the housing market up here in wakey is (like hardknock said) quite bad at the minute, things are very slow so yes - do haggle over rent.
If you are wanting to be close to the A1 you'd want the Stanley side of Wakefield places like Rothwell, Oulton (both classed as Leeds) or Outwood, Lofthouse, Robin Hood, and Wrenthorpe (which is a tad further away from M62/A1) and are all nice areas (Stanley and Wrenthorpe prob best). If you want a more typical village you'd be better off in somewhere like Rothwell but the prices are more here.
But if you can be closer to the M1 rather than A1 then you can have all of those places plus a million others because the M1 kind of cuts through wakefield.
I moved to Wakefield when I got married, and am originally from Suffolk. I have met some fab people through mumsnet, and we meet up quite regularly and are always on the look out for new memebers to the gang - so don't be too scared . Whatever you need, all you need to do is shout and one of us will be able to help out.
Oh, and most of us are quite shy whether we seem it or not on here, and I remember the first time I went on a meet up - I was sweating buckets and so nervous. I nearly didn't go but I did, and am so pleased because the other girls in the area are really lovely (now watch them all coo and go all weird over themselves )
My dd is 8 and my ds is just over 2 btw.

Ha but you haven't met me yet, Ginger! I might not be lovely!!

Hi Ozziesmom. I live in between Huddersfield and Wakefield and very near to the M1 (just down the road from Gingermonkey!)
There are some lovely rural areas around here, but may be classed more as Huddersfield than Wakefield. Have a look on the map at the areas around Shepley, Shelley, Kirkburton, Denby Dale. All small villages but with open countryside minutes away. this is a good estate agent round here and think these these do a lot of letting.

Hope that's some help - hope to meet you if you move up

ozziesmom

I moved from Leeds to Cumbria with DH and DC 3.5 years ago and I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did. It took ages (a good 2 years) before I had established proper friendships rather than a tentative nod int eh playground, but with a bit more effort it would have been much quicker.

Good luck, keep posting

hardknock - according to justabout you're lovely, but she does think my cats are leopards, so maybe I shouldn't listen to her.....
Ozziesmum - there's property section in the wakefield express every friday (it's a weekly paper) with houses to let as well as buy. If DH works in leeds they'll sell it there, or I would happily get you a copy and post it to you.

Thanks guys thats a really big help, will get dh to buy paper and look at the areas you've recommended. You've all made me feel lots better already (sheds a little tear @ kind words) Once we have decided i'll be in touch xxx

make sure you are - it's no fun not knowing where anything is, and feeling a bit lost. And everyone's been there at some point in their life.
The wakefield/huddersfield/Barnsley thread is always pretty busy so just pop in and say hello and we'll come and hold your hand Good luck with the move and see you soon

See told you they were all friendly

If you look on the wakefield express website here you can do a property search on there

two things that helped me a lot when i moved to a new area - firstly, when you meet anyone, when you get home, write down their name, their children's names, anything they told you about themselves. Sounds sad but it really helps - means that next time you see them, instead of just saying 'Hi' you can say 'Hi, X' and you would not believe how much more likely it makes them to start a conversation with you. Also, if you find it hard to think of conversation, nothing wrong with asking everyone the same questions (provided it's not at the same event!) - e.g. 'what are the swimming pools round here like' - someone should eventually say 'oh i always go to the one a bit further away as they have a great toddler splash session, it's on thursday, would you like to go with me?'

Secondly, if you can nerve yourself to join things, try and get yourself an official job to do - e.g. i shared the clerk of the school governors' job for 2 years. I met loads of people that way, there are a lot of events at the school and also found out a lot about the local primary which was a bonus.

Hope it goes well.