All inclusive American resort - tipping

[PossiblyDreaming]

In a few weeks I’m going to be staying at (what looks like) a very lovely, all inclusive resort in Grenada. Looking at the reviews it looks like it’s an almost exclusively American’s who stay there and it’s American owned. There’s lots of mentions about how the staff can be a bit standoffish and unwilling to help but once you tip they all become lovely and attentive and constantly bringing you amazing cocktails, reserving tables in the restaurant etc.

But I don’t know who to tip, when you tip or how much. Any suggestions? It’s a fairly pricey place to stay - for two of us it’s about £700 per night in the cheapest room but at an all inclusive rate. I just have no idea about tipping and don’t want to piss off the staff by tipping them not enough or tipping them at the wrong time and I don’t know if I have to tip everyone and I’m getting in such a faff about it already.

It’s supposed to be an absolute trip of a lifetime but I hate not knowing what the rules are.

We tipped a small amount (in dollars) in Cuba at an AI hotel. The staff did not expect it but many were so lovely we wanted to give them a little extra. But there was definitely no tipping culture as such.
(In Cuban terms they were doing well if they were employed in a resort for foreign tourists. IIRC the best tips were considered to be painkillers especially analgesics with codeine and/or tights for the women - they had to wear tights for work which were hard to obtain sometimes. If their tights were laddered they couldn't work. This was in the early 2000s. )
I know a hotelier in Barbados, he didn't have a problem with Brits but thought Canadians were 'cheap'. i.e. tight.

You may be overestimating how 'properly' servers and other resort, restaurant, and hotel workers are paid, @MrsTerryPratchett.

Americans, many of whom have waited tables as teens or university students, or even later in life, tend to assume people are being paid very little for hospitality roles.

They know that the 'lovely people' waiting your table have bills to pay, mouths to feed, and that a little extra money won't go amiss.

In the UK, employers can pay low wages but they are topped up by welfare, healthcare is free at point of service, and there are free nursery hours for many parents. Elsewhere in the world, people don't tend to have that sort of safety net and regardless of how cheerful and kind servers are, or how crisply pressed their uniforms may be, their lives can often be hard and their homes are a far cry from the luxurious surroundings they work in.

@,Claymorekick, at an AI you can calculate how you should tip by reference to the room rate.

My response wrt the receipt was to do with normal practice in the US, where you don't need to corry cash in order to tip.

Gosh OP it does sound a minefield!

@mathanxiety

It's better than Brits not tipping because people end up with more money.

I find the idea of not tipping far more reminiscent of serfdom. Servers have the honour and the privilege of bringing you your food and asking if they can get you anything else, how is your steak, sir... and the pleasure is theirs? That's just plain servile.

I don't understand that perspective. Instead of being paid a fair wage servers in the US are paid a pittance and expected to sing for their supper via the customers? It's distasteful to me. I also don't see why, if it's an expected part of remuneration it can't just be factored into a basic salary (theoretically, I recognise the difficulty in changing the culture). I believe some (all?) of Danny Meyer's restaurants in NYC had gone to a non tipping model but reintroduced it after the first wave of the pandemic which shows how hard a change it is to introduce. I do recognise your point in another post about the differences in social structures in the US vs UK and recognise it's all tied in but I still disagree with tipping as a method of remuneration.

Having said all that I'd like to be crystal clear that when I visit the US I tip and have spent hours online trying to ascertain the appropriate amounts each time I go.

@oncemoreunto

Brits not tipping is talked about a fair bit by service staff, it doesn't go un-noticed.

Plenty of Brits do tip and plenty of non brits don’t. I can’t say I care too much for the opinion of xenophobes who prejudge me on my accent. If I get good service then I will tip but I’m damned if I’m paying for bad service. For the record I have been to America and tipped appropriately because fortunately I had excellent service.

Elsewhere in the world, people don't tend to have that sort of safety net and regardless of how cheerful and kind servers are, or how crisply pressed their uniforms may be, their lives can often be hard and their homes are a far cry from the luxurious surroundings they work in.

I've lived in a few countries and travelled in 40-odd more. My thoughts about tipping aren't ignorance. And I do tip well in North America. I object to tipping in countries where it's a form of cultural imperialism and has been introduced so foreigners can act the big I-am when in reality it doesn't lead to better wages, just a transfer of power from the manager to the guest.

We should instead be looking for locally owned and run places, with good ethics, where the staff are paid decently. I like a place where the service is good but not 'great' (read obsequious). I quite like the idea that if I acted like an arsehole, the staff member could tell me that without fear! I tend not to go places with 'crisply pressed uniforms'.

I also don't see why, if it's an expected part of remuneration it can't just be factored into a basic salary

Because if it was part of the wage packet it would be paid by the restaurant owner. This would mean prices would go up, because restaurants operate on notoriously thin margins. Then fewer people would eat out and restaurants would close. When it's up to the patron to tip the server the money is coming out of the patron's pocket at his or her discretion.

@MrsTerryPratchett, it is interesting that you describe people as 'acting the big I Am' - is this your opinion or something you can verify as an objective fact?

Where I live (US) servers in pretty much all the restaurants tend to wear black trousers and white or black tops. The trousers are always pressed. My DCs have all waited tables, in a variety of different eateries and bars, and I taught them to iron so that they could turn up looking as expected.

So is it at someone's discretion or part of the expected remuneration? When the US is discussed on forums I've been on, it is made clear that tipping is not really negotiable. Restaurant prices would go up but so would income if tips were rolled up into the price, although yes there would be some margins affected. Perhaps it would make the industry unviable but I don't know, it doesn't sit well with me that the only reason businesses survive is by pushing the income risk on their staff. I get that things are very different UK (and other places) to US though.

@mathanxiety

I think the British awkwardness about tipping stems from the conceit that being served a meal or drinks isn't really part of a transaction. It's people bringing you your food because they are lovely people simply doing you a favour, and you are somehow linked in friendship.

I’ve never thought like that.

It makes me feel awkward as I’m worried I’ll make a mistake and upset someone.

Just how much time have you spent recently in the UK, math 😆 Your pronouncements often seem a little dated, if emphatic. My children both to waited or did bar work as teenagers or university students. They were generally treated well by diners and drinkers, though there were some horrors—from all nationalities.