Terrified of flying 😩

[Jojotodd]

Hi lovely mums,
I’m due to fly to Spain on Monday with my OH and my 2 kids. I am freaking out. I’m so anxious and am working myself up into a right state and it’s only Wednesday!

I’ve always suffered from anxiety especially linked to being trapped/locked in. I get a racing heart and panic on trains as well as recently freaking out stuck in traffic in an Uber. I almost jumped out.

The bit that gets to me is the bit where the doors close and knowing that I can’t get off/out if I panic. I know it’s ridiculous and I feel silly for feeling this way. I just don’t want to have a panic attack on the plane 🙈

So, having not flown for 2 years, I am now meant to fly on Monday. I’m not scared that the plane will crash, I’m scared that I’ll have a panic attack when the doors close. I’ve taken propranolol (beta blockers) in the past for public speaking which help to slow my racing heart/flight or fight response but my doc has said that diazepam will be better and has prescribed me 4 x 2mg. She says take 1 at the gate and then maybe another in the air. Has anyone had experience of this? Does it stop your heart racing/the feeling that you want to run off the plane? I’m worried that it won’t work for me and that I should just take the beta blockers (although they do nothing for the psychological anxiety).

Any help would be greatly appreciated - I know medication is not the solution and I am looking to do a CBT course but they can’t fit me in until October 😂
Jo x

I think you will be fine, the pressure of knowing if you get off you won’t be allowed back on will stop you from going over the edge too much.

Your not locked in or trapped, your secure from being sucked out of a plane, there’s a difference. Secure, not trapped.

I had 2x2mg tablets to go to the dentist, takes the edge off! Do not plan on driving though as you might be quite spaced out.
If you’ve never had them before then 2mg should work.

This book really helped me:

www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/books/steve-allright/flying-with-confidence/9780091947859?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0p_ev4WY8gIVjYFQBh3jAg3xEAQYAiABEgLOHfD_BwE
Easy to pick out the sections of the book helpful to alleviate anxiety. Also, Patricia Furness-Smith has a relaxation recording to accompany the book, available on audible which I listen to a few times before/on the flight. Really helped me. Good luck!

@Workinghardeveryday Yes I think it is better to tell crew in some ways as then you don’t feel so alone! I’m travelling with my hubby who is very supportive and knows my fear but I’m also with my 2 kids who I don’t want to scar for life 😂
Telling the crew might help me feel a little bit calmer 🤞🤞

@GiveMeAUserName123 that is a great way of thinking about it! I’m going to channel that way of thinking! X

Thanks @Tibtab - that makes me feel better x
@WindUpBird - I’ve got the audible app so will def look that up - thank you x

I’ve taken them before and they really helped. Last flight, i didn’t take any tablets, I did lots of mediation on headspace beforehand (I think there is a flying one now) and then focussed on deep breathing etc as boarding / doors closing / take off. It definitely helped, I felt much calmer and didn’t have a panic attack

Good luck

I take 5mg of diazepam the night before my flight and then another 5mg when i am waiting at the departure gate to board. By the time I strap my seat belt on i am completely relaxed and happy to fly.

@TellySavalashairbrush I’m going I get to that point too! X
@Mrsdoubtfireswig I’ve got a similar app so I think I will use that too - I’ve also got a small fan, my lavender oil to smell 😂 and a fidget cube 🙈🤪 I’m covering all bases! X

Hey Jo, me too! I have Xanax for flying now but still get nervous weeks before. I have read Capt Allrights book which is good, and I downloaded an app calle SkyGuru which I like a lot. You pay per flight and you put your flight number in and it uses your phones sensors to tell you exactly what angle you are and how bad the turbulence is - I like this because it has levels and even the worst I’ve had it on is like level 0.5 (out of 5!) and in headphones it explains what’s going on, eg: “you’re about to hear a whirring noise, this is the wheels going up. Remember that soon it will feel like we’re dipping down, but this is just your inner ear balance over correcting as we level off” etc.

Good luck! Are your dc very young? I ask because it’s really common to develop a fear post birth which they say wears off over time.

@PersephoneJames thanks hun - is the Xanax good? I have a friend who always takes it for flights. My problem is not so much the plane/turbulence aspect but the bit when they close the doors 😂 I get full on flight or fight mode where my heart races and I want to run off the plane! I actually think flying is pretty safe but can’t deal with the claustrophobia - it sucks!
Yep I was def less anxious before my kids came along - although I did have panic attacks before too so must just be my crazy brain! 😂😂🙈 x

Diazepam is good stuff and I used to take one before and one on the plane.
The best think I ever did was the EasyJet Fearless Flyer Course. Look into it for the future op.

Ps that course deals with every possible reason for hating / fearing flying

Oddly I had a discussion with a frIend yesterday who suffers from this really badly. She says she listens to a Paul McKenna podcast over and over again, and finds betablockers more helpful than diazepam.

@savagebaggagemaster thanks hun - I will have to do a course like that as cannot go on like this - it’s awful! 😂

@drspouse that’s interesting 🤨 I have beta blockers that I use when I do a presentation but my gp seemed to think the diazepam would be better...I’m so confused 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😂🙈 my gp told me not to take both otherwise I probably would!!
Will look up the podcast as that might be really helpful too x

4 x 2mg would literally be just scraping it for me personally but I guess a lot depends on you physically and to what extent and severity your fear is. Sometimes the adrenaline will pump so hard which I found when flying for the first time in nearly 20yrs. GP prescribed 8 x2mg first time and it barely got me the one way.

What might be an idea is to take one tablet this week and see how you feel and how it affects you. If it's not much beyond a mild short lived feeling of calm you could contact the GP again and explain / ask if they can bump it up to a 5mg tablet instead. That's what I did and GP was fine and had a script sent through to the pharmacy that same aft.

It's worth seeing how the tablets affect you anyway before next week what works for most won't work for all. You'll probably feel more reassured if you've had at least one tablet and know how it feels and whether it's done the job nicely / will be just the ticket. In that case you could just call up the surgery, explain you've taken one and I'm sure they'll give you an extra couple it's not unreasonable to have tried something out before you actually arrive at the airport and are ready to board.

@PinniGig oh gosh well I hope it works 😂 My gp didn’t want to give me anything stronger 🙈
Maybe I’ll be better off taking my beta blockers! 😩😩

@Jojotodd I have the exact same problem: not remotely scared of the plane crashing/getting into difficulty. I'm just terrified of having a panic attack on the flight because you can't exactly ask them to pull over whilst you take a few deep breaths! I usually take 5mg Diazepam once I get in my seat. By the time we start taxi-ing down the runway I am feeling less edgy and sometimes even a little sleepy. I then start myself-care package/ritual for flying that really helps me. No idea if this will appeal to you or not but might give you some ideas for coping. I would preface it by saying if you can get DH to take control of the DCs, this may help you enormously. Of course, you may find being involved with them takes your mind off things? For me, I have to tune out of Mum mode but my DCs are older teens so much easier for me to do.

For take off: I wrap myself up in a warm pashmina & pop on a pair of bed socks (yep, even on summer flights!). I liberally apply moisturiser to face & hands - one that's packed with essential oils like lavender or frankincense (both brilliant for panic). I put on some music in my headphones, slip on a silk sleep mask and basically snuggle down in my seat. It all helps me feel cocooned and safe. I have a little glass heart (give to me by one of the DCs) that I hold in my hand. It's a grounding technique. I stay put until we have reached altitude, at which point I make myself get up and go to the loo - whether I need to or not. It somehow grounds me to feel my feet on the floor and do something normal. Even if I feel wobbly at this point, I make myself glance around the plane, smile to myself, basically feign feeling relaxed & casual.

As soon as drinks trolley arrives, I order a chamomile tea & a bottle of fizz. I always make the same joke with the crew that I'm feeling anxious and that one or both should do the trick! Again, it's just about normalising the feelings - it kind of takes the fear away and they are always understanding, offer a word of support or laugh along with me.

During the flight, I watch something on my iPad - light-hearted piffle - often something I have watched many times before like Pretty Woman or Sex & The City. It's familiar and therefore comforting. I sometimes take a stack of piffle magazines or a book but I find that I need something that really engages my attention whilst not really demanding me to do anything so watching tv/movie is better. I sip my tea, then usually have my wine and, before I know it, the flight is over. The last time we went to a beach destination, I was even able to enjoy the descent - looking out at the beaches & ocean below - something I hadn't been able to do for about 6 years.

HTH! Keep telling yourself that you can do this but that it's okay to feel scared. The more you beat yourself up about it, the more stressed you will feel. I also talk freely with DH in the days leading up to the flight about how scared I am. Again, it's sharing that feeling that helps to weaken it.

I hate flying for the same reason as OP - claustrophobia rather than anything flying specific

I went on BA’s fear of flying course at Heathrow and found it wasn’t that much help for me as it focused almost entirely on why flying is safe rather than anything clausto related

If you were thinking of taking a course I would recommend a CBT course that is more focused on claustrophobia than a generic fear of flying one

I have to admit the Diazepam didn’t work for me at all if anything it seemed to make me worse. My fear is a mixture of yours (feeling trapped), and fear of plane crashing or a fire on the plane.
I always want to tell the crew how I feel but I’m too embarrassed.

I went on the Fear Of Flying course at Heathrow many years ago. Somehow it worked for me (especially the group hypnotherapy bit) with the added bonus of curing my fear of panic attacks on the tube and trains (which meant I hadn't been on either for many years). I don't know how it worked but it did and I am so grateful.

Meanwhile, for you OP, do take the diazepam and trust in it. I've had diazepam for another unrelated condition and it too did the job.

Hope you have a wonderful holiday!

@EdinaMonsoon ah thanks so much for taking the time to write that - sounds like you’ve got a good plan in place 😊 I’m def going to let my DH look after the kids - I’ve got my noise cancelling headphones and I will download some feel good films - Sex and the City is one of my faves too!
Once the seatbelt sign goes off I usually feel much better as not so trapped then. Fingers crossed I’ll conquer this and be able to actually enjoy some of it! Really good idea to hold onto to something concrete - I might bring one of my crystals! X

I'm a hypnotherapist- I work with phobias all the time. You only need 2 sessions to be able to fly without excessive anxiety.

@OpalFruits84 I’ll definitely do a CBT course for claustrophobia- I can’t go on like this 😂 I did try the Paul McKenna hypnosis app but not sure it did much for me! X
@MissyB1 oh no! I hope it works for me 🙈 what did you do? Did you end up panicking?
@Chicchicchicchiclana thanks hun - I think I will take it - I hope it stops my heart racing! I totally sympathise as I get panicky on trains/tube too! Are you able to deal with it all now? X