2022 cruise with frail parent and a toddler. Is this a horrible idea?

[allfurcoatnoknickers]

I live in the US and haven't seen my parents since 2019. My Mum had a stroke last year and now struggles to walk very far and has decided that when we reunite, it should all be on a cruise.

It will be me, DH, DF, DM and DS who'll be 3-ish. DM is adamant she's going to book something, but realistically, I'll end up sorting it out so I'm trying to do some research now.

I think the Greek Islands might be good, but can anyone suggest a line that would be good for elderly parents and a feral toddler? Where do I even start when looking to book?

DM wants a cruise that leaves and returns to the UK as she doesn't want to fly, but is that even a thing? I feel like people usually fly at least one leg.

We've done a cruise with DS and family, including 2 and 7 year olds. everybody loved it but we had agreed in advance on ground rules. Dinner together every evening, breakfast if we bumped into each other, rest of the day up to each of us. DH and I often do not go offshore, and have a blast with the almost empty ship. Kids went to kids club (check minimum age) and we took some evening duty to let the parents go play DS and family went out on every port, able to pick appropriate tours as they describe the level of walking, terrain, challenges etc.

Balcony. With a 2 year old we were told to either have the lock set to locked or choose a cabin without. The risk is real and the railing not very high. With chairs and tables out there, little ones can climb. We chose for them a family cabin with large window, which they loved, especially when the waves came up over it and then receded. Great fun and safe.

Go for it. You can all have a ball as long as you talk about what that looks like to each of you.

There are a couple of You Tubers who talk a lot about different cruises and cruise lines, 'Emma Cruises' is a young woman who cruises in the cheapest way possible using inside rooms and sharing.

'Tips For Travellers' by Gary Bembridge is not exactly luxury but is more about getting the best cabins.

My worst nightmare is a cruise (I hate being out of sight of land and the thought of all that water underneath makes me feel ill) but I find both these two fascinating, Emma has done a couple of trips from the UK, including a cruise around the UK.

If your mum is staying on the ship in port both these You Tubers recommend this is when you go to the spa or other paid for activities as the prices drop.

With covid uncertain and the possibility of an outbreak of something else I'd suggest adjoining rooms or joint balcony (depending on your toddler) so if you are confined to your cabin you have a bit more space.I recently watched a documentary about the Diamond Princess, the ship stuck in Tokyo harbour for 3 weeks, one family of 4 were in a basic inside cabin so there were 2 sets of bunkbeds and a TV. Not much room in between and 2 adults and 2 children were sharing.

OP

Your mum could go Portsmouth to Santander by ferry and then a train to Barcelona and you could meet her there.

My parents don't believe in takeaways either, but I do believe in them!

Good point to say to them that if the stops aren't suitable for them, your family will still try and get the most out of the stop. Make it clear you might sit out one stop here or there but that you won't sit them all out just to sit there watching her. Your dad is there so you shouldn't need to be her babysitter if you want to go and see a city and she isn't able for it.

except she can walk, just not long distances

Most cruise ships are huge, and if the sea is choppy, how will she get around? Will you have a wheelchair on board?

Doing a Norwegian Fjord cruise is on my bucket list. I’m surprised that some posters think this would be boring. I’m not bothered about evening entertainment.

The Norwegian Fjord cruises are stunning and definitely not boring.
I’ve been on 11 cruises and only had choppy sea for one day. Regarding walking there are many seating areas so that could work well for your DM as she could walk and then sit for a bit. Choose your cabin location carefully, mid ship and nearish a lift is probably best to minimise walking. Also pick cabins in between other cabin decks so for example avoid being under the pool deck to avoid noise. Most ships have a solarium which is a pool area with a bar and toilets nearby that is all or mostly under glass. I’ve seen many elderly or frail people sat there enjoying the warmth and watching the world go by. Some parts are in the shade too.

I forgot to add there are staff everywhere on cruises and also many toilets.
Do check activities for your DC, lots of cruises have crèches and children’s clubs. Also check if he’s old enough to use the pool.

We went on a p and o Norwegian fjord cruise in April 2019. It was fabulous and I think you could have a brilliant time without ever getting off the ship - would work well for someone who was frail and my kids loved it too. I think it’s a great idea.
I would just check that she can get appropriate travel insurance to cover her if she has multiple medical issues.

Should have said - the cruise we went on was round trip from Southampton

Avoid Royal Caribbean unless your elderly mother likes ear splitting pop music blasting out in the coffee area and amplifying right up the central atrium to every deck.
I’m autistic with hypersensitive hearing, and struggled to find a peaceful spot anywhere on board apart from my cabin. Even the passengers taking part in a quiz in a supposedly quieter bar were exhorted to “make a noise” after every question, so whooped and cheered loudly.
It was only bearable because we were off the ship all day sightseeing on land!

My aunt and disabled uncle in their 80's go on P and O from Southampton. They get a taxi to the coach pick up point, which then takes them to the ship. All luggage is dealt with and already on the cruise ship when they board. It's very inclusive on board. We've been on several cruises, my dc at all ages loved cruises.
It's an easy holiday for all ages and everyone is catered for.

I’m sure Disney cruises do leave from the uk

disneycruise.disney.go.com/featured/advance-booking-uk-staycations/

Says here they do leave from uk but they are shorter - 2,3 or 4 nights

Your poor mother - strokes are horrible.

It’s great that she’s still mobile but it would be a good idea to ensure you have a back-up wheelchair for long distances on board and for trips on-shore.

Please don’t take the trip with the intention of using your parents as babysitters - it’s their holiday as well. Far nicer to take your toddler with you all for family dinners - they’ll almost certainly sleep through most of them.

You’re very fortunate - I’d have loved to be able to take my post-stroke elderly relative on a cruise with their grandchildren ...

ipswichwitch I think they are just doing the staycation cruise for this year. Sometimes Disney do go from the uk to Norway or Baltic’s but mostly from Barcelona. I went on a one week med cruise from Barcelona with Disney Magic, it was fab.

Ah, I missed that bit Jerseygirl12. I’ve seen the cruise ship in the Tyne before so I thought it was a regular thing. Looks amazing though!

Also departures from Dover, Liverpool, Tilbury et al. If you want warmth Canaries/Madeira might be doable, otherwise Norway/Northern lights, Iceland, around Britain/Channel islands, or France including a river. Some tour operators such as Saga and Fred Olsen include door to ship transfers, even on cruises operated by other companies.

Wow, I wasn't expecting so many extra responses! Thank you everyone for all the ideas. Very encouraging to hear that several of you have had successful multi-generational cruises.

DH and I have two weeks MAX for this, which is a bit worrying. But hopefully we can figure something out. I'm not expecting babysitting on tap , but it might be nice if they spent an evening or two keeping an eye on DS after he goes to sleep so DH and I could do something together.

RE: My mother's capability, I'm going with what she tells me. I think we'll need a wheelchair on board though, so I'd have to check with the cruise line about that.

Cruising is actually a brilliant holiday if you're obliged to travel with prickly relatives, because it's so easy to 'lose' them for the day. I speak from experience!

Some cruise lines will offer an evening kid's club session or babysitting in the cabin for a fee.

There's always a good portion of old and very old people on any cruise I've been on, many with mobility aids. I've seen plenty of Americans getting around on their motor scooter things and they seem to do fine. There are a few accessible cabins on each ship but they need to be booked early.

Norwegian fjords would be a really good call in your circumstances. Fabulous scenery so if your mum didn’t want to get off the ship then she would still have some lovely views to look at. Going to the med from Southampton you usually have to have at least two sea days before you stop anywhere and the Bay of Biscay can be choppy. Some of the ports in Norway the ships dock in the town so you can just get off for a wander rather than having to book excursions. The brand new P&O Iona would be worth a look if it is sailing there on your dates.

I'm into the idea of a Norwegian Cruise, but I don't think that anywhere that's not boiling hot and sunny will pass muster. I can try though!

It might be possible for you to do one leg and either fly out/back while others cruise both ways.

There is a company called mobility at sea who you can hire wheelchairs and things through and they are in your cabin when you get on board (if sailing from Southampton)

@allfurcoatnoknickers

I'm into the idea of a Norwegian Cruise, but I don't think that anywhere that's not boiling hot and sunny will pass muster. I can try though!

It was me who said that fjords are boring. I stand 100% behind that. I've done the fjords several times and apart from Bergen (the Crewe station of northern sailing), I found the weather to be very good. The sky is so blue. I have a fab picture of white snow flakes falling against the bluest sky. But it won't be hot. However, for your time scale of max two weeks that's probably the most practical to give you all a taste.

However don't fully rule out uk and Ireland. We once called in at the Orkneys (different cruise itinerary) and that was one of my favourite places ever - but maybe not good for a wheelchair.

I love cruising. Happy holidays!

I def think the whole point is trip to the Med without having to get on a plane . We've got family in Copenhagen though, so I wouldn't write of a Scandinavian/Nordic cruise, but it's not the aim this time around.

I'll look in to flying out to meet the cruise. DH and I are the ones in a time crunch, so that would make it easier on us.

An update: Disney has been vetoed. P&O is still on the table though. DM also asked that we look into Cunard - sounds expensive but I'm willing to do some digging.

Location wise, fjords are a hard no. Med is a yes, Greek Islands are a maybe. DH desperately wants to go to Greece, but DM is worried about the fires.

The search continues...