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Travel Consent from my Ex

18 replies

BGJmum · 14/07/2020 20:46

Hi all, im new to this but needed to see what others have done or know. My daughter is 1 and i am taking her on holiday in september to Greece. My ex has to give me 'permission' as she has his surname and obviously he isnt coming with us. Has anyone had to do this before? What needs to go in the letter and what can i do if he refuses, he can be awkward for no reason at all.

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dementedpixie · 14/07/2020 20:59

its not because of the surname that you are supposed to get permission but because he has parental responsibility due to being on the birth certificate. If your child had your name you'd still need permission.

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BGJmum · 15/07/2020 06:02

Thanks for the replies. @dementedpixie i just typed it quickly yest, i know its cos of PR too but the surname situation kept popping up when i read stuff. And @PoopySalata the template is really helpful. Thank you. Im hoping to get it signed this weekend. Finger crossed

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zippityzip · 15/07/2020 06:23

Take her birth certificate when you travel. To prove that you're her mother.

I've travelled solo with my kids (before we were married and had different surnames) and only once I was asked who I was in relation to the children, and I was able to provide their birth certificates which was fine.

If you're going away for two weeks or less I don't think you even need his permission. Just the BC.

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BGJmum · 15/07/2020 06:36

@zippityzip i have been told this by my friend too about not needing permission. I plan on taking her bc and now this letter so i hope i wont have any problems. All seems so far fetched in a way

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zippityzip · 15/07/2020 06:38

A friend of mine had one DC and the dad had done a disappearing act when he was a baby. The travel agent said about getting permission and she was queried how she was supposed to do that! Again, no issues. Had the BC with her and no one even asked her until she was coming BACK into the UK.

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Mydogisthebestest · 15/07/2020 06:41

You technically need permission if you don’t have a court order for access. (Can’t remember the proper name of it now)

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HollyBollyBooBoo · 15/07/2020 06:43

I'm not sure as this is a good thing as you'd hope airlines would check but my own experience of a parent travelling solo with DD (whether it's me as the Mum or DD with her Dad) is that no one at departures nor arrivals bats an eyelid and we've done multiple trips to Europe, America, Mexico etc.

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MrsMontgomerySmythe · 15/07/2020 06:44

I always took a letter from my ex when the kids were young and he gave me a copy of his passport too as proof that the letter had not been faked.

My kids have joint nationality and in their passports it says I have full custody. An interesting idea but with the concept of custody slowing being removed in countries and replaces with residency and visitation it will soon be redundant.

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Zodlebud · 15/07/2020 08:22

I am happily married and travelled with my kids but without husband to the USA last year and was asked for documentation to say they could travel alone with me. Luckily I had it.

I would take two copies to your ex. One for you to sign for him, and one for him to sign for you. That way it’s seen as fair for both parties. The only way to legally stop you leaving the country without his permission is to obtain a court order and that’s very expensive so unless he’s rich and a total arse then I doubt he would stop you.

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Perfectimperfection · 08/07/2022 06:35

This post is so old but have been looking for this information. Everything I read online tells me I need consent but my ex got really aresy about it when I asked for consent. I'm still waiting. He insists I don't need it because his fiance never gets it from her ex.
Thank you all. I understood it as needing consent incase it is asked for because they do spot checks. Glad to see I'm not as mad as he makes me out to be 😂

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Evelyn5518 · 22/07/2022 21:58

Im going to Greece end of august my dd is 4.
me and her dad both have PR but I've currently got a non molestation order against him for DV and he's done a disappearing act so I've no idea on how to get a letter! Will a bc be okay? I'm panicking like mad

@BGJmum did you manage to get a letter sorted?

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BJGmum · 22/07/2022 22:03

Hi, yes i did get a letter signed, i took birth certs and everything and never got stopped once. If he has done a disappearing act then i would just take bc. Id say, from things i was told, that they would only question it if it was an extended trip where you could be looking to never return or they cant prove you are her mum, (which obvs a bc will do anyway). Maybe just take copies of any paperwork you have about the order in case you need to explain. Fingers crossed for you!x

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BJGmum · 22/07/2022 22:06

I honestly think its the type of thing that is blown out of proportion as a lot of people told me about situations where 1 parent had taken children abroad with different surnames etc but nothing ever got said. I never got stopped at all and my name was different to my daughters and again my parents were different so we all have separate names and went and returned with no questions asked. I know its all about PR but sometimes you cant get a letter and they have to take your word for it x

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stillherenow · 22/07/2022 22:13

My dd has a different surname and I've never been asked . I used to take a letter but ex is so arsey it was really stressful -
So now she's a teenager we've agreed we just won't tell him this year .

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Perfectimperfection · 23/07/2022 15:55

I was talking to someone on Wednesday who took her niece on holiday and got stopped at the boarder (taking ship to France). She just had a handwritten, unsigned letter from her neices mother. Apparently all the officials did was take the neice off to one side and ask her some questions about who she was travelling with and basically established that everything sounded OK. This has put my mind at rest because my ex gets really difficult about simple requests like a letter 🙄

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stillherenow · 23/07/2022 17:35

@Perfectimperfection yes my dd is 14 so I'm hoping that we are now past the time of needing a letter ! And she can also explain her father is an arse .

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Evelyn5518 · 23/07/2022 20:50

@Perfectimperfection I've heard France is quite strict, did they look at the note or did they just ask the questions? Also if they did look guessing it was just the bog standard I give permission and the parents name

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