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Is P Leach right re no holiday at 1yr?

19 replies

florenceuk · 11/09/2002 15:02

This might belong under the thread on childcare gurus as well, but anyway was thumbing through my copy of Penelope Leach and noted all the bad things that happen at 1yr - baby becomes more clingy, hates changes in routine, becomes more fussy about food, etc etc. So PL advises against things that lead to major disruptions like holidays! I've just booked us on a flight to NZ at Xmas time when DS will be 13mths - and now wondering if we should have just skipped this year - if he really will be a clingy nightmare in NZ. I know the flight could be truly dreadful but is the whole trip a mistake?

OP posts:
Tinker · 11/09/2002 15:04

no - go and enjoy yourself!

Azzie · 11/09/2002 15:12

Tinker is right - go and enjoy yourself. We took ds away at 15 months and dd at 11 months and had no problems with either. The only thing we have always tried to do is keep roughly the same routine and timeings at bedtime (not so easy for you with jetlag, I know). What sort of trip are you planning? Friends took their ds to the US on a fly-drive when he was 12 m.o., and they felt that things would have been better if they'd booked a one or two-centre holiday - their ds struggled a bit with the constant changes of location.

mears · 11/09/2002 15:56

I think you go and enjoy yourself. If ds is clingy you will know the reason why and deal with it . Enjoy.

MABS · 11/09/2002 17:33

Pl is a hypocrite then. I used to know her daughter quite well. I know for a fact that she, her daughter and her grandaughter , then aged 10 months went to France for about 3 months with other family members about 7 yrs ago.

Might be a case of do as I say not as I do....

Go and have a great time, how long will you be in NZ for?

WideWebWitch · 11/09/2002 17:50

Agree, ignore her and go! Interesting MABS.

WideWebWitch · 11/09/2002 17:50

Agree, ignore her and go! Interesting MABS.

Twink · 11/09/2002 18:18

Agree with the others, go for it and have fun ! We took Dd to stay with friends in Scandinavia at 10 months, then to a strange villa in Europe at 12 months and she didn't turn a hair. Like Azzie, I've always tried to keep her 'routine' the same when we're away and even now at 3, and many strange places later, she still adapts to where ever we are straight away as long as tea is followed by bath, then story then bed. If anything I think it helped her not to do much of a clingy phase because she had consistency even though we weren't at home.

SofiaAmes · 11/09/2002 18:29

absolute nonsense, i've been on loads of holidays with my ds (now 22 mo.) with and without my dh at various different ages and although the level of attention needed is certainly different at 12 mo. than at 2 mo.we have always enjoyed ourselves.

Lollypop · 11/09/2002 19:20

I think that just confirms what I've always thought about these so called gurus. They make a mint from peoples' worries, as a Mum you can only do your best. Bin the book!!

janh · 11/09/2002 20:08

We took DD1 from New York to San Francisco for a week aged 11½ months. We had the most unbelievably terrible trip over, baby vomiting, ran out of clean clothes, DH left buggy behind, airline flew our luggage on to Honolulu, borrowed cot had no fixings to assemble it so she had to sleep on a mattress on the floor, and she STILL didn't bat an eyelid.
florence, you go right ahead!
(re P Leach - she is a granny now - all the goalposts have been moved!)

bossykate · 11/09/2002 20:26

florenceuk, have you found that your experience of ds matches pleach at all so far? even if the answer is yes, i would still say go for it, the flight will be the worst thing, and that can be trying from birth to much older. have a wonderful time!

bells2 · 12/09/2002 08:52

We too have been to all sorts of destinations (Russia, Sicily, Australia and so on) with our son at all different ages and each trip has been a delight. My advice to people with one child is to travel as much as you can as we find it more difficult with 2 and I imagine 3 would be even harder. We sometimes have difficulties in finding hotels who will accommodate 4 in a standard room and when the food/entertainment/routines of children are different, it just makes it all that much more problematic.

JayTree · 12/09/2002 09:15

As long as you take plenty of things to distract your DS on the plane and a few fav. comforting items for nighttime, I am sure that you will have a great time. NZ is not such a wild place that you will not be able to find familiar foods (if you are heading for a populated area!). If your child is anything like mine, the amount of people on the flight who are only glad for the distractions of a young child to coo and play with will help pass the time a treat. I will echo those who have already mentioned the routine and time change issues - worth thinking about prior to your trip and working out a bit of a routine!
There has been loads of media attention on medical dangers of long haul flights (ie..thrombosis) - I haven?t heard anything specific to young children but maybe worth checking out. Not trying to worry you, just a thought. Otherwise have a fantastic time - really envious!!

  • Just a quick thought, my sister?s ds went throught the clingy phase early and had outgrown it by 13 months so you may be lucky anyway!!
Ghosty · 12/09/2002 09:38

I agree with everyone here florenceuk - you go for it and have fun! You will get stressed at times but as long as DS has his mummy and daddy nearby he will be happy! Agree especially with the 'keep to his normal routine' advice. If you are on the road a lot stop often and keep to meal times if poss. Even if you are in a motel, if he has tea, bath, bottle, story then bed normally then do it as if nothing is wierd or strange. We also make sure that our DS has a couple of important bedtime comforts with him - 'Bear' has been from UK to France to UK to NZ to UK and back to NZ again!!!
PS. We are coming to the UK at Xmas otherwise we could have met up!

chiara71 · 12/09/2002 09:43

I had a holiday with dd at 13 and 15 months, the first in Italy on the seaside without dh, and it was a nightmare, she would not leave my side for a second, for a week I felt like a koala bear carrying its little. (I put it down to the extreme heat and absence of dh, but maybe it was just a phase)
The second one, in the UK, with dh, was far better, she even stayed in the hotel's creche.

(by the way, dd has been to italy 6 times in 15 months, so she's should be used to travelling)

My point is, you never know if what they're going to be like the nest day, let alone in a few months, it's a risk (it may well turn out to be the holiday from hell), but he might surprise you and everything will be perfect.
To me it's a risk worth taking, just try and plan for everything!!!

and of course, enjoy your holiday!!!!

helenmh · 12/09/2002 11:29

We took my oldest son to greece at 10 months and he had a whale of a time being doted on by all the greeks. He is now 10 years. When he was 2 and his brother was three months we spent 3 and a half months in USA with my husbands job. We had three weeks in the mid west and then California living in two different places. The boys now love to talk about it even though they cant remember it.Go for it it will be a great experience

SueW · 12/09/2002 13:32

I'm in two minds about this - our daughter didn't sleep well until she was two years old but I always saw this as something I had to put up with in return for the lack of routine in our lives - DH working in the Netherlands, home only at weekends; my alternating time between our home and my mum's; we took her to Jersey for a weekend at 30, had my MIL to stay for two months when DD was 6mo and as soon as MIL left, DH and I moved to the US. After 2months (still with me??!) I brought DD back to the UK for five weeks then took her to NZ for two months.

When we returned from NZ we started house0hunting out of London which meant regular trips to view houses, often spending a week or so with my parents again. We moved into our house when she was 18mo, then took her almost immediately for 3 weeks in Spain.

Things settled down a bit then, she stopped teething too and started to sleep at night. However, DH was still working away and we had a flat in London and a home in Nottingham and I always spent 1-2 weeks/month there with him (taking DD too).

So yes, a change in routine can cause some unsettlement but I have to say DD has grown up so far, to 5yo, pretty chilled out and fairly normal

But go on the holiday - and have a great time!

Queenie · 12/09/2002 14:17

Our dd was in our bed all the time and then we went to Tenerife and she had her 1st birthday there. When we got home she went into her cot without a fuss. Only reason I wish we had not gone away is becuase I was attacked by a monkey in a Zoo park and spent whol holiday back and forth to hospital for new dressings etc but dd found this all part of the excitment. Go and have a great time - NZ is somewhere I would love to go so please let me know how you get on.

florenceuk · 12/09/2002 21:01

Thanks for all the messages of encouragement. We're going back home to see the grandparents, aunties, cousins etc and to attend his sister's wedding(!) - so it will be a family-focused holiday - only for 3wks, two months would be great. I am just worried that he'll find it difficult to cope with the flood of strangers. And it would be a shame if we could not take advantage of the free babysitting.

At the moment he is a very sociable baby, as long as he gets a chance to eye them up first - has just started looking a bit suspiciously at strangers but will smile at anybody who smiles first! We have a routine of sorts but am dreading jetlag.

To be fair to PL, she didn't actually forbid holidays, but was so full of dire warnings about how grumpy they could become at this age when removed from familiar surroundings, I really wondered if it would be worth it.

Ghosty, why are you in NZ - is DP a Kiwi? When are you planning to be over here?

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